Pro's and Con's on having a traditional wedding or just running off and eloping??

Question

Alright our original wedding date was set for September 29th of this year, I have started to plan things out a bit, but it seems like no matter which way we are going about things something pop's up causing complete and total Chaos. I purchased my dress from a designer and waited 2 months for it and upon receiving it today the dress is NOTHING as I was told it was going to be. My fiance' and I just originally wanted to take a 4 or 5 day vacation to Vegas to have some time to ourselves and just elope and then upon returning home we were going to have a reception. Part of me still wants to do it but another part of me wants the chance to have my dad walk me down the isle but everything is turning into a catastrophe while planning this traditional wedding. UGH I really need opinions on this. As of right now I just want to get married to the man I love and I don't care how we do it. Opinions on both a traditional wedding and also eloping please help

Answer 1

How about go and elope and save up for a good renewal of vows wedding in ten years?

Or have your immediate families (your mom and dad and his mom and dad) go to the justice of the peace with you and have a nice ceremony there?

Answer 2

I am planing a traditional wedding and its really not that bad. We decided to have the wedding instead of eloping because we want the pics and wonderful memories of that special time. Out wedding isnt big and fancy just simple and fun but what we want and like. We expect 100-200 people to attend but all plans are falling into place and thats the way it should be. If things aren't working out then its not supposed to happen; not the wedding just not the plans you are making. Change things up and when it starts to fall into place then you know its right. Planing a wedding should be a little crazy but not to the point you cant stand it. Just make the day enjoyable for the two of you and that what means the most.

Answer 3

So I got married on Catalina Island (Ann Marshall was the wonderful person who married us by the way...) and it was picture perfect. There isn't an all or nothing option here. Have a tiny wedding just you and your immediate (and I mean immediate family). Then it's just about you two and is focused on your day not the wishes of others. When I got married it was my parents, two brothers, sister-in-law, brother's girlfriend, and niece. One brother took pictures. It made the whole event very inexpensive. My dad walked me down an aisle (of sorts), we had a very small two tier cake (just so we could save the top tier for our anniversary), had a very simple bouquet, the girls and men had very simple flowers as well, and I still had my hair done.
My family spent the night before with us and we went out to dinner. The day of our wedding they stayed for an early dinner afterwards and went to Disney which allowed us alone/honeymoon time. This also saved us money allowing us to combine our wedding with a honeymoon/vacation.
So in conclusion my suggestion is do a tiny tiny wedding somewhere further away from home where you still have the benefits of having a vacation. And when you return have a backyard bbq to celebrate with extended family and friends. Oh and don't skip out on having your nails done, hair done, and flowers. Those little inexpensive touches make your day special.

Answer 4

I'm getting married this November, and I had a pro/con list myself. The pros of getting married here were everyone would attend (everyone we wanted), I wouldn't have to worry so much about lodging for everyone. The cons were everyone would come ( the ones we didn't want, but had to invite), the total wedding was going to be about $30,000 (about 200 people). Going away the pros were you only invite those you really want to attend (about 50 people), you get to go somewhere you really want for longer, you can do more elaborate things as less people will be there. The cons were a few of the people you really wanted there may not come, and lodging accommodations for everyone! Ultimately, we chose to get married in Disney for about $11,000, 50 people, it should be great. When we get back, we'll have party for everyone who couldn't come. I am so excited! In the end, you have to do what you're most comfortable with. I don't like crowds, so I'm psyched! I'm also amazed at how easy it's been to plan. I do recommend going down to check out the ceremony and reception sites first, because pictures can be deceiving. If you don't want to deal with everyone (and who really does?) have your wedding away, and a party when you get back. If you want to spend the time and money on a wedding at home, go for it. Whatever you do, it'll be your day, and one you remember for the rest of your life. It'll be great no matter what. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Well, when I first got married at the young age of 18, I had the big huge crazy wedding. It was alright, but like you said...STRESSFUL! Who needs that. Its not about the wedding, its about what it symbolizes.
Now, I am about to get married again 10 years later and my boyfriend and I are going to go away with our parents, our siblings and my son. We are going to either a pretty mountain somewhere or a beach. My dad won't walk me down the aisle this time cause my son is going to do it (my dad is a minister and is going to perform the ceremony). BUT you could easily do something like this and have your dad walk you down the beach or the mountain side. It will be lots cheaper and more intimate just having your close family there. Then go back and have a party later on with your friends.

Answer 6

It ends up being what's best for the two of you! I like the idea of taking the parents with you for the "wedding" part of the Vegas trip. That way, you have the perfect witnesses and you don't miss out on having your dad walk you down the aisle. A co-worker of mine did the Vegas thing, then a year later really wanted the big wedding, so did that too. It's whatever you want! Good luck and congrats!

Answer 7

OK, I had this dilemma. We wanted the formal wedding, but not the formal price tag or all that stress and worrying over this and that. We decided to go to Gatlinburg with just our immediate family and have a small formal ceremony. We have everything that a couple that spends thousands of dollars have... formal pictures, unity candle, dvd, memories, everything... except the debt. We came home and had a reception and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Our wedding video played in the background during the reception and those who wanted to see could go watch and those who didn't were not bothered. Our wedding and reception later cost less than the original quote on just our flowers... yeah! Good luck and best wishes... whatever you decide to do.

Answer 8

Weddings are expensive (con) but if you've never had one, make sure you wouldn't later regret not having gone through it. I've done the 'big wedding' once myself so don't feel the need to repeat that, should I ever remarry.

Bottom line though, do what you and he want to do...it's y'alls day and y'alls wedding, and you shouldn't have a big ceremony if you don't want to...or not have one if you do want to, just to satisfy others.

I personally dig the idea of a private wedding, and a reception/party later so friends and family can celebrate with you...a lot less hassles and stress...but for some the big wedding is what they dream about for years so don't deprive yourself of that, if it's something you think you'll regret having skipped out on doing.

Answer 9

Hire a wedding planner to help you out. Generally, they charge 20% of your total wedding budget. Having a planner will save your sanity while planning this wedding. You don't wanna run off and elope and then regret not having your Dad walk you down the aisle and give you away.

Answer 10

Your question was deja vu to me. We are getting married on Sept 26 this year. We (he) thought we would get married in our town with our families present. I wanted to just get away. We are going to be married on Catalina Island (3000 miles away!) by ourselves and then the weekend after we get back we are planning a bbq for our friends and family. It was an easy decision for me to get married out of town and forget all the hoopla & stress a big wedding creates. One, a big wedding isn't for me and two we are older. But even though it's my first marriage I am comfortable doing what we are doing. Going to Vegas was our first thought too. Depending on where you live it can be very reasonable to fly out your parents to attend the wedding. Even with that expense you will have saved tons compared to a big wedding. Plus when you get back you can have a casual reception where everyone, especially you, is comfortable. Just be honest with yourself. Only you know if you will miss being the center of attention on that day. Good luck and god bless.