My 13 year old cousin is drinking. I told her to stop but she won't listen.What do I do?

Question

I told her to stop but she won't listen to me. She said it's an addiction and she doesn't know how to stop. She told me if I tell anyone she'll hate me and will never talk to me again. I love her so much and i don't want her to get a disease or anything. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Hello Mary...
tell someone!!!!Soon!!!!!
She needs help right away, sweety.
Do you know any adult you can trust? Tell them. They will find a way to help her without telling her that they know it from you.
You say you love her so much. So get her some help.
You will feel so much better.

Answer 2

I highly doubt it's an addiction at her young age unless she's been drinking for years besides 13. Where is she getting the booze? Try cutting it off at the source.

Make up some really horrible stories, unless you have real ones like I do, about how it's all fun and "good" to drink now but she is guaranteed to have it lead to pain and something terrible. Many people have to learn that the hard way and finally learn that drinking was never worth it in the first place and wish that they could just take it all back.

It leads to death, sickness, homelessness, rape (no matter how much she'll deny it can't happen to her) and a tarnished image.

I'm sure she feels very adult but in reality the stupid infantile 13 year olds she knows feel that way too when they drink but it doesn't make them anymore adult, it just makes them seem infantile and pathetic b/c they're showing off that they can drink. Big accomplishment there. So can the bum who lives on the street corner.

Make her see that she doesn't have to impress them, they're just kids. Tell her how she looks when she drinks in the eyes of adults (and not parents), I mean the "cool" younger adults.

If it has to come to telling her parents, then do it. Before it leads somewhere bad. She'll get over her anger.

Answer 3

Tell her parents! If her parents are not the type of people to handle it....

(I forget the exact statistic, but most of the time, an under age drinker gets the liquor from there parents or older siblings)

Then I would attempt to contact her school. Get her councilors/teachers involved, they can handle it in a more professional manner.

If for some reason the school will not listen ( I dont know why they wouldnt)

Be a strong person and make a call to social services.


(Let her hate you now, she will get over it, we all "grow up" especially from this age)

Is she drinking every day? Or just on the weekends?

I must admit, I was drinking every weekend at 14, then almost every day at 15. However by 16 I ended up just stopping, didn't drink again until I was 20.

(however I was able to just get over it, I never felt addicted. She feels addicted, she might need help!)

When your kid is at their friends house, how are you going to constantly watch them? You must depend on that friends parents, what if they dont care? What if they condone whats going on, or dont see a problem? There are always those "cool" parents, or "cool" dads/moms. I know several parents who put on fronts for the sake of their kids.

*EDIT*EDIT*EDIT*

Sometimes its hard to tell if someone is being a brat.

Of course they don't want to get caught, or in trouble, they don't want to look like less of a person, they don't want to be frowned upon, ...pittyed .

(Being a person that becomes easily addicted to anything...) Its hard for me to hear someone say their addicted. If she really feels she is, than there could be a real BIG issue here. Be fragile with this situation

However if she IS just being a brat, doesn't want to get caught, and doesn't want to stop having fun with friends at party's, that's totally different.......have no sympathy at all for this girl if you think this is the case, just tell her parents straight up, or get her caught.

Answer 4

She may sound mean when she says she'll never forgive you if you tell on her, but consider this: what might happen to her if she DOESN'T stop? I would talk to your mom or dad, whoever is the sister or brother of your aunt/uncle, and see if they can talk to her parents about getting her some professional help. I have a14 year old little brother and I can't believe that kids this young are drinking. They should enjoy being a kid and not try to grow up too fast, because the years fly by when you're a grown-up. Anyhow, as she gets older, she will mature and forgive you because she'll realize that you helped her and probably saved her from herself. Try this link, maybe one of these numbers can help you find a resource to help her: http://www.teensurfer.com/teenhelp.htm

Good luck to you! Don't delay in getting your cousin help! This is pretty serious!

Answer 5

Well, ask her where she gets her alcohol. Try to cut her off from her source.

Second, alcohol is not inherently addictive. Several pre-existing conditions cause alcoholism. It could be genetics, is one of her relatives an alcoholic? Or it could be past trauma.

Finally, tell her that she needs help and that she will be able to get over it. Alcoholism is a serious condition.

But there is a difference between alcoholism and heavy alcohol drinking. Is she constantly drunk or does she drink a lot during parties only?

And where the hell are her parents, they should be able to see what she's doing.

Answer 6

You can't let her manipulate you into being silent. If she hates you for the rest of her life (porbably won't happen, though), so what? Your starting the ball rolling on intervention might just save her life. Her life is more important than her acceptance of you. I believe she'll be angry with you for a little while, but when she matures and realizes how stupid she was acting at 13, she may actually seek you out, give you a big hug, and thank you for saving her life!

Answer 7

Yea. Everyone is saying the right things. Also, you might want to find out who the enabler is. Is it peer pressure from her friends? Is her friend's parents allowing minors to drink in their house? Someone or something is obviously encouraging her decision to drink. Are there local liquor stores selling to minors? Is she taking bottles of booze from her friend's houses? Is there a boy that she likes who is encouraging her? Is she only drinking or also smoking? Why haven't her parents noticed her comming home drunk? Is she getting drunk and then sleeping over a friends house?

You can probably tell somone in a way that they will talk to her without it looking like you told on her. I mean if she's drinking as much as you say she is can't you tip someone off and they can catch her in the act?
; )

Answer 8

You definately need to involve the parents on this one especially if shes not listening to you. I mean you can have one more serious chat with her telling her she should stop and threatening her to go to her parents if shoes doesnt. Now if that doesnt sober her up i definately say go to the parents and let them know whats going on with their daughter.You already did you part and she may hate you for doing that but in the long run she will really come to appreciate you for it. Best of luck!

Answer 9

Tell her a little story about how she was born because her mother and father got drunk, made "love" and that she appeared by mistake on this world. And that alcohol can cause very unpleasant situations... that's if you really want to stop her drinking.. because I'd have a sip with her if I were you :o)

Answer 10

she sounds like a manipulative little brat... doubtful that she is addicted to alcohol at 13, more like addicted to partying... the fact that she is saying that she'll hate you for life is crap, she's just saying that so you won't tell on her.!! trust me I did it too!

do what you want... kids get away with murder now a days!!! probably because adults are too afraid that they are going to be hated/... deal with it