IT IS NOT RIGHT TO HAVE THE RELATION WITH SOMEONE AFTER HER MARRIAGE. YOU HAVE GIVEN THE RIGHT ADVISE TO HER. IF YOU ALSO CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER OF LIFE YOU WILL FORGET HER.
2007-03-10 14:57:08
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answer #1
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answered by RAMAN IOBIAN 7
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I know exactly what you are going through because it happened to someone very close to me. All I can say is that you have to give it time. It usually takes about half as long as you were in a relationship to get over the person you were with, so you're looking at least at a year and a half, but with how the break up was, it may be longer. Get out and meet you new people, that is the only way you will get over her. The more people you meet the more likely you are at finding someone else and moving on. Good luck and I am very sorry...
2007-03-06 05:27:18
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answer #2
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answered by Anamika 2
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Hello,
I am really impressed by the courage you have shown in obeying your parents or rather the circumstances. I really want to congratulate you and also that girl. I know, at this moment, it is really difficult for you to keep yourself away from her thoughts. But, I will suggest you to look at this in a different angle.
Human mind is very funny and complex matter. When you, yourself try to run from a situation or a thought, that thought keeps on ticking you, always, in back of your mind. So better way is not to run away from that situation. Do not deliberately try to forget her. It is not going to happen that soon or that easily. Try to live with her memories, the happy moments you shared. I feel, you will be more comfortable doing that.
Now, your problem is how you will come out of these memories. Time is the only solution for this. I will suggest you to visit regularly (may be daily for 1-2 hours) may be some orphanage, blind children school, senior citizen / oldage homes, social organisations. Get involved in their day to day activity. It always helps. When you see problems, worries, difficulties, and sorrows of others. You find that your problems are nothing. Then, you yourself will get involved and try to help these people to solve their problems. That will give you a lot of satisfaction. It will make you strong, emotionally. After about six months, you won't even remember about this problem.
I don't know whether you know "Hindi", but these lines are very true, in context of your problem. These are from the song "chalo ikbaar phir se, ajnabi ban jaye hum dono"
wo afsaana jise anjaam tak lana na ho mumkin,
oose ik khoobsoorat mood dey kar, bhoolana aachcha.
All the best.
2007-03-06 16:43:09
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answer #3
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answered by mobile 4
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ok, lets be practical at the very outset. love is what we 'do' and not what we think or ponder on. So your love for her appears to be impractical as you have not done what you ought to have done before, to qualify your love for her. Neither is her approach sincere as evidenced by her calling you up even 8 months after marriage. it appears you went after lusty sex and not her love ,to be frank, and she has been looking for someone according to her liking only rather than _adjusting ( the prime constituent of love) . iam definite that if you both would have married her, the results with you would have been same as it is presently with her husband. Only may be 8 months would have been slightly lengthened. So dear friend try to understand this truth and get yourself out from it as early as possible. Post your marriage invitation soon out here and ohh! don't forget "adjustment and commitment to a living ideal, blooms in you the personality that every girl dies for in her husband .Good luck
2007-03-13 19:00:47
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answer #4
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answered by relative 1
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It's jsut like a person stuck up in a maze. You keep going back to the same point and you would never escape. Look at different perspectives of your life. They may lead you out of it.
You keep thinking about her constantly and by the time you realize that things have moved ahead, you would be lagging far beind. Participate in the competition relating to your career. Set some targets. Plan out for the goals. Look out for newere prospects (career and girls). Every morning, prepare a 'to do list' for your self. Every night, revise it, and note down what part you enjoyed the most. Frequently go for things that you enjoyed. Soon you would be out if it.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-07 08:49:24
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answer #5
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answered by plato's ghost 5
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Telling her not to call was the first step and it is in the right direction, if she calls again explain her why you said so and do not feel guilty if you have not given her the explanation, some things are best never spoken any way.
It takes time, but you will forget, for sure, go for walk to tranquil places, listen to good tranquil music or visit a temple/mosque/church if you believe in them, enjoy this freedom that you have make the most out of this situation.
2007-03-06 10:17:09
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answer #6
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answered by minootoo 7
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i understand your situation. only i can say it takes time, but don't force yourself to forget her, because you'll remember her much more. just try to do some social work for example: at least you are trying to help somebody & giving happiness to those people.
and whenever you remember her, don't get sad because it came to an end just be happy that it happened.
i'm sure that you'll get a girl who'll love you a lot & you too. remember: someone somewhere is made for you.
it's just matter of time: you'll get everything at the right time, not before that and not after that. perhaps this is the time to remember her.
ah! specially go out & meet new people but don't go with the idea: "i have to search my patner & get married", because at this stage you'll try to find her in all the girls.
just make some new friends: boys & girls.
hope i helped you out in some way
2007-03-06 20:56:24
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answer #7
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answered by sweetdreams 2
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Well if keeping busy doesn't work maybe picking up a hobby will help. Pick something that your really good at that will keep you thinking bout what your doing, something that makes you concentrate. If that doesn't work time will eventually heal. Also try dating someone new, it will help you think about the new person more than your ex. I hope some of this helps and I hope you feel alot better.
2007-03-06 05:27:27
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answer #8
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answered by Lisa H 2
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This is natural result of great love & relationship. The lady is unlucky because she did not get you as a lifepartner. But do not hazitate and complexed just do you own work and do not try to weast your love and do't try to forget her becasue your mind is so good so keep your own love in your mind and try to get power from it. Life is long anything must be happen. If you try to forget her she will definitely come in your mind. Hence no need to ferget her just make your own love in your mind and get the power of love with a sweet smile. Always try be happy and smily.
2007-03-11 23:18:08
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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The answer is not a great one: time. It just takes time. Keeping busy, yes.
I have a trick when I dwell on something I shoudn't. It's sort-of weird, but it actually works. I say "stop it!" out loud (try to only do this when no one else can hear you!). If people are around me I whisper or just think it.
I promise you, with time, the focusing on her will fade. You won't forget, but it fades into the background. I promise.
Give it time, time, time.
2007-03-06 05:27:30
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answer #10
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answered by dashelamet 5
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Dont stop loving her. Love her as a friend now. Dont stop her from calling you. You too get married to some person. Then you also will know how she is feeling. Become family friends and that will put a stop to any other bad relation which might come up
2007-03-12 22:33:31
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answer #11
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answered by mekhalasri 1
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