my son is walking on eggshells around him not sleeping and irritable.How do I get my fiance to stops nagging him and be more of a friend. We also have a 1 yr old son together.
2007-03-06 05:18:39 · 20 answers · asked by mdtyssen 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my god! you're son is so afraid he is losing SLEEP????!!!!!! he is 5 years old! get this child some help.PLEASE!
2007-03-06 10:06:15 · answer #1 · answered by sue brew 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You set the ground rules NOW, and only get married if he shows that he can change, and I mean for like 6 months he shows. You are the 5year old's mother, and you and you alone have the legal rights to him, not the future stepdad or stepdad. Your best bet is to be calm and reasonable when you talk to him, but be clear that your son needs a loving environment, not a hostile one, and he either makes this happen and leaves all the discipline up to you, or stepdaddy has to go. It is the only way, what you set in motion now will be the course for things to come. Your son is your priority, clearly.
Perhaps you can find some parenting classes, step-parenting classes to take together?
Be specific. When you see a specific behavior, take him aside later and tell him that you think it would have been better if he had handled it this way, or that way.
Good Luck
2007-03-06 14:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELLO...
sounds like you are putting the comfort of your BF ahead of the security of your son...
ask yourself... Why do you let this grown man nag a 5 year old.. why don't you stop it and protect your child.. after all he is 5.. he is still a baby.. is is not sleeping , and he is irratable and is walking on eggshells.. isn't that enough to tell you he is being abused.. verbally for sure with the nagging..but maybe other wise when you re not around...
Statistics show that the most dangerous place for a child is in a step parent situation.. it is where the most abuse happens
You are this boys mother...he relies on you and looks to you for help ... step up and protect him
SHAME ON YOU FOR SEEING THIS AND NOT DOING ANYTHING TO STOP IT
2007-03-06 13:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
please listen and listen good if your fiance has a problem with your child he does not need to be your fiance your child should always come first he was there before that guy and Will be their after wards you are all he has to protect him and love him and you can never and i mean NEVER put a man no matter how much you love them above your own flesh and blood child. if he has a problem with your son take it as if he has a problem with you i would confront him and if he does not change his behavior then you need to change and get rid of him your child always always comes first. He might be jealous or just resentful of your son either behavior is unacceptable and at just an age of five it cant be from anything your son is doing. If you notice he treats your children differently so does your son and your so is watching to see if his mommy will protect him and be on his side or betray him and choose this man over him. also your fiance behavior can make your son resent his sibling
2007-03-06 13:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by crissy83 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well frankly, If he can't accept your child why the hell would you ever want to marry him?
My son is number 1, no questions, 100% of the time.
If it was between my son and my husband, it would be my child everytime. I love my husband, but my son comes first.
He didn't ask to be here...we brought him here so its our responsibility to meet his needs first.
You need to talk to your fiance and find out if you are misenterpreting his behavior...if you aren't, you need to discuss the possibility of family counseling because it's heartbreaking to think that a 5 year old child is already suffering from emotional abuse from some one his mother is dating.
My husband also has a temper and I have told him before that I don't give a s.h.i.t if he needs to go to counseling, get on meds or go buy a punching bag to get his agressions out on...whatever...but I will not allow his temper and his behavior adversly impact my childs life.
Tell your fiance to sack up and be a father to both your boys, if he's too imature and can't be...then he needs to be some one elses fiance. Your son should be your first priority.
2007-03-06 14:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's practically a baby and he's walking on eggshells and irritable and not sleeping? Your fiance shouldn't be a friend to your child anyway, he should be a father figure, and if he can't handle that you need to find someone who can. Your child's needs come first, I can't even begin to tell you how many stepfathers end up beating or even killing kids and I'm sure it starts like this.
2007-03-06 14:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! RUN, do not walk to the nearest exit. If you don't read the newspapers do a search on child abuse and who does it. Your guy fits the profile. Don't put him before your children or we'll be reading about you. Why are YOU abusing your own child by letting him be subjected to this MORON? The little guy must be scared to death all the time. I hope you never leave your son alone with him. I can only imagine what has already happened. Do you? You are your child's protector! So protect him. GEEEEZZZZ
2007-03-06 13:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be so blunt but get rid of the prick. If you don't your child will grow up fearful and have a low self esteem. An innocent little boy should not ever have to "walk on eggshells" Kick your nasty fiance to the curb. He sounds like a real jerk!
2007-03-06 13:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't you see the red flags waving at you? I would never let my child feel unsafe, unwanted, walking on eggshells! He is 5yrs old for God's sake, be a mother and protect your child from the man, he is going to physically abuse him, you can see coming, and the emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse! Do you think this is fair for your child to have to grow up feeling fear from someone he resides with, by no choice of his own? I bet if you asked that kid if he wanted to leave "daddy", he would run for that door as fast as he could. You need to leave this man now, regardless of the fact that you had a child with him, he is abusive and my heart aches for your son, I just don't get it. Why do women stay with men that really aren't offering them what they want or need, do you really want to live with this man forever? Please, give you oldest child the precious gift of love and protect him the way a good mother is supposed to. If you need help getting away from your situation, there are places where you can get help, women's shelters, The Salvation Army, your local welfare office, don't allow this emotional abuse of your family to continue, be strong, get some balls and get out!
2007-03-06 13:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your children should ALWAYS come first! Your son's happiness, safety and well being should come before your own happiness or your fiance's feelings. I'd suggest not marrying him until you can get to the root of the problem. If the problem cannot be resolved, then cancel the wedding. It's easier to get out now instead of later!
2007-03-06 13:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by chelelab 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pity you have a child with this man. If you choose to stay with him your oldest child is going to have issues. He is going to lack self esteem, and there could be a myriad of other emotional problems.
This is a very uncomfortable place for your oldest child. I feel very badly for him and I hope you do too. You are putting your own life before your child's and I disagree with that. You should be doing everything in your power to ensure that your children are raised in a good environment, not one filled with tension and fear.
Put your kids first and get rid of your fiance.
2007-03-06 13:30:25 · answer #11 · answered by huckleberry 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋