I am the mother of his 7 mo. old child, I love him and he loves me. The problem is he still has two older kids, a house and a wife. Should I wait for him to get the divorce or should I start dating other people?
2007-03-06 04:48:31 · 47 answers · asked by ~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How many men wouldn't love a pretty young thing waiting in the wings till he gets to sneak out? You have got to start thinking about Your Baby! Whose last name does he/she have? Is there medical insurance? Does the wife know? Why doesn't he tell her to be with the woman (you) he loves? How old are you? So here is a list of excuses; " I have to let her know slowly." " I need to wait for the kids to get older. " " I'm not ready yet because she will take me to the cleaners if I ask for a divorce." " Her Mom is sick and now is not the right time." "Just give me a little more time, you know I'm always there for you and our baby." " We just bought a house and I need to build up some equity." Anything yet? Does he squirm a little when you try to pin him down? Does he turn it around and make you feel like some kind of nag or b***h for bringing the subject up? Only you know the answers for all the previous questions. Think of yourself first, without him, (obviously) . If he comes dragging his bones your way someday then he has some serious making up to do, but, you take care of business first, and that doesn't include dating. Dating is what got you here. Talk to your Mom.
2007-03-06 05:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww in between all this, nobody ever thought of the poor people in this who are probably hurt most by your affair, and didn't even have a choice about it!!!!!!!! These are his wife and his two children. You have already made this horrible, misguided decision to have this affair, so I won't moralize you now; but I think that now would be a good time to seek child support (which will help you financially) and APOLOGIZE to his wife, who will no doubt hear about the affair through the child support proceedings. She has a RIGHT to know, as you are really the one responsible for ruining their marriage (you could've said "no" but you didn't), as do her kids, who are probably also very hurt that they have an illegitimate little half-sibling they didn't know about.
And of course, you should move on from this guy, whether he ends up getting a divorce or not. He obviously is not an ideal partner for a lady seeking stability, particularly a lady with a young child who doesn't have the time for a rocky relationship. Even if he did agree to marry you, he would probably follow his wandering balls elsewhere, to greener pastures, so to speak. These are men that create a cycle with the various women they become involved in.
So if I were you, I'd take the time to make things right with his family first. After all, they probably resent you most in all of this: you were the one with the deciding vote to whether or not you should engage in an affair with this wandering man.
2007-03-06 04:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by -- 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know that he's never going to get a divorce, right? Married men do not leave their wives, and why should they? As long as he can have his cake and eat it too, he will. He doesn't care about your crying and nagging and fussing, he'll tell you want you need to hear and do whatever will bide him some more time and when you've had enough, and give him an ultimatum, he'll say he can't leave until the kids graduate high school and go to college. Do you really have10+ years to wait? What about YOUR child? Does not he/she deserve to have a father? Does the wife know about you and the baby? I would imagine that she doesn't. You can wait if you want, but I think you know what you have to do eventually. Sue him for child support - not worrying about if his wife finds out - and move on. Good luck.
2007-03-06 05:05:21 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out as soon as you can. He will never divorce his wife and you will continue to be his side piece. Not to judge you or anything but the married man relationship will not work and you should know in your heart that you deserve someone that is going to be totally yours. You should not have to share a man with another women. Besides think about it if he cheats on his wife to be with you what makes you think that if you two were to get married that he won't cheat on you with another woman.
Everyone on this earth deserves to be loved and respected and it does not sound like you are getting either. You have to leave to save face, what if the wife finds out about you? He already has two older children by his wife that he already has to take care of which puts you and your child like 4-5 down the line you are worth more than to be 4-5 best on anyone list right? Good luck to you.
2007-03-06 04:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have never been with him;
The best thing you have is the child.
Love it and care for it and make sure daddy is paying for his support.
You will wait a long time 99 % of men who cheat never leave their wives.
You will be waiting until eternity.. get on with your life.
you have to go to family court and get your support for your child.
Do not play the martyr and not do it, cause you do not want to cause trouble.. that would be silly and you would be denying the child his due.
Get busy if you are not working and do a course at night or at home and get an education.
There are plenty of programs that can help you.
Get on your feet and be the best role model ever for this child.
You owe him/her that.
You made an error in judgment, so what, make it better by being creative, driven and self assured.
Get busy ,you have lots to do.
You need to get out there and have some fun also.
I would date, but use precautions and don't make anymore mistakes.
Use the knowledge you have learned and make a plan. Then work your plan for the future of you and your child. good luck
2007-03-06 04:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Child press on.....you have a child to think about now....its not about HIM and YOU anymore. I would talk to him about what he wants to do far as the child, but your relationship should be over. Nothing positive will come out of this in the end. Your child and you will suffer. Trust me, if he has been sleeping with you and not have left and now you are pregnant........do you really think he is going to leave? How long has he been telling you that? You should start dating other people b/c you may miss that special person that is supposed to be in your life and is AVAILABLE to do that....for you and your child. Dont be the cause of him to leave his wife........that will end up being a very ugly situation. Besides, put yourself in his wifes shoes? That is not a healthy way to start off a seriously committed relationship.....BAD KARMA and it comes back and that bite WILL BE a *****. Dont wait for him......please dont!! Be strong....for your child at least.... And if you are still confused about leaving.....GO ASK HIS WIFE and she what she says.....
2007-03-06 04:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello?? you are the other women! he has a wife 2 kids with her,a house a family. he says he loves you who does he spend the holidays with? b-days? anniversaries? vacations with? how long has it been? you have a 7 month old with him, you were pregnant for 9 mos.that's 16 months right there. how long do you think He needs to divorce his wife? he does not love you, if he did you wouldn't be in this position. he will not leave the wife. he would have already if he was even thinking about it. leave the married men alone. find one who is free to love you.
2007-03-06 04:56:21 · answer #7 · answered by sassy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you truly loved and respected this man you would not want to date other people. you should walk away from this relationship. if you truly valued relationships you would have waited until he divorced his wife to start a relationship or been creless enough to have a child by him. he isn't going to get a divorce. he will be financially strapped. he is jsut trying to buy time. do yourself a favor and find a nice man to be the father of your baby and use birth control so that you don't have anymore babys until it is the right time.
2007-03-06 04:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by misse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you, sacrificing your morals-you should be ashamed. That man is someone elses HUSBAND, and you not only cheated with him, you HAD a child with him. What goes around comes around, if he ever DOES get the divorce (which he obviously isnt if it's been 7 months!!!) he'll just do the same thing to you. You are the perfect example of a homewrecker...make your own family, dont tear apart someone elses!! Wise up, you have a child to teach the ways of life, and you are out to a really poor start...
2007-03-06 04:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by cvjade 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You poor thing. Think about getting some kind a beauty make over so you can attract a good man (not a married man as they generally go for desperate and plain looking girls so they can use them) Go see a Life Coach on how to plan your life out so you can have a full abundant happy life. It's an insult when a married man hits on another woman. In his mind he see's her as easy, cheap, desperate, lonely, uneducated, and easy to replace. Be smart and take care of your baby. Hopefully you can find a man of your own and hopefully he would never do this to you or your family. Good Luck ... I feel so sorry for you.
2007-03-06 05:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋