Is it ok for me to tell my mother inlaw to stop calling for a while? my husband may leave me?

Question

well she swears infront of my one yr old, she causes trouble in my marrage, she is a manipulater. a lier a controll freak. she thinks everyone has to obey her

Answer 1

As tempting as it is, no you can't tell her that and believe it or not that is just exactly what she wants you to do so, that she can cause more trouble. However I would polietly bring up the swearing issue and tell her that you do not want that kind of behavior in front of your child...(I would do this in front of your husband so, she cannot refute or add to what you have said.) Really my only advise is be the bigger person and you know you are a mom now so, you can see how you would never want to be cast out of your child or grandchilds life...just rise above it and pray for patience. The more her behavior gets to you the more extravagant it will become. (Just smile to yourself and go on.) And also come to accept the fact that your mother-n-law is jealous of you and her feeling will probably never change. Just remember that when you are the mother n-law and do better...I feel for you. :)

Answer 2

How does your husband think? You need to talk to him and it really should be him that tells her to stop the activities because it is upsetting, not you. If your husband leaves because you told her to stop calling all the time, then he wasn't really that involved in your relationship. He should understand where you are coming from. If he thinks that she is the best person on the face of the earth then there is nothing you can really do, but I am sure that if she is as bad as you say that he knows about it. What trouble is she causing? Your husband and you should be strong enough to not listen to what she is saying.

tell him to tell her to stop swearing infront of the little one, you can't change the other stuff though:(

Answer 3

To get your husband to see what she is doing, try to point out what she does instead of name calling because that will just make him defend her. Things like "I don't want her to swear in front of Junior". Hopefully you can together work out some boundaries about how often is acceptable for her to come over or call. Get a phone with a ringer you can turn off. The marriage relationship has to be first priority.

Answer 4

Yes you can! I am a mother-in-law and if she is staying in the middle of yall's business ,stirring trouble and does not have any respect for you and yours,then you have every right to say something.

You should set your husband down and lay eveything out on the table and come to an understanding,then you should both confront her,if she gets mad,she can take it home and get over it.

I do not understand why mothers cannot get a life and let their grown children have theirs.

Answer 5

t,Well the marriage is between you and your husband.....NOT your husband and his mother. First and foremost is the well being a development of your child and if grandmother is a bad influence MAKE dad be the one to tell her. First, talk to your husband and let him know how u feel and as her son HE needs to correct his mother before u do. If he doesn't agree then take matters into your own hands. If he chooses his mother and the detriment of your child over you adn the well being of your child then I guess his true feeling towards u and ur child will be revealed. Good luck with the monster in law!!!!

Answer 6

You should tell your mother-in-law the same thing you just described in Yahoo answers. Your husband probably feels trapped in the middle, but he needs to back you up. You both may not agree on all the trouble your mother-in-law is giving the family, but do have to be united when standing up to her.

Good luck.

Answer 7

You don't have be quite so blunt. Just because she's rude doesn't mean you have to stoop to her level. You could always put her off a little with things like "Gosh, I'm sorry, I can't talk right now...I was just on my way out". Listen to what she says with half an ear, casually nod, and go on about your business. Just because she says something doesn't mean you have to obey her. The only way she can control you is if you allow her to do so.

Answer 8

I wouldn't tell her to stop calling, but tell her that because of her behavior you are forced to discern an appropriate time for her to call. Like you will only accept her phone calls on Sunday's in the afternoon and if she misbehaves tell her you will end the call. She'll probably feel like you are treating her like a child, but tell her that her actions have upset not only you but your family. And for the sake of your families peace you have to put down your foot. Expect her to be angry, but know that you are doing the right thing for your family. Things can only get better once you put up the boundaries, if she truly loves her family, she'll back off and behave.


Good luck!

Answer 9

My grandmother is the same way although she uses her money to control her sons. All i can say is hopefully your husband will see the light. My dad did he finally told her what she could do with her money. I agree with you not wanting her around. All i can say is hang in there. Try to talk to your husband about why you don't want her to come around for a while. its not like your banishing her. as long as she can come over sometimes i think your husband will understand eventually. He shouldn't leave you over a little thing like this.

Answer 10

i would get called id and not answer the phone when she calls. tell dh that you are going to start turning the ringer off while the baby naps and that is a good excuse to not answer the phone. oh my i forgot to turn the ringer back on, AGAIN. when my mil comes over unexpectantly if i do not feel like dealing with her i do not answer the door. "oh you must have came while i was in the shower." We play in the back of the house and have tv in every room.
kill her with kindness when you see her. if anyone complains to your husband let it be her. he will begin to see her for how she is.