How to get over a relationship?

Question

Ok, I have been with this girl for 8 months now, I am totally in love with her, my friends dont see it. I am a professional engineer, I worked hard for 4years to get where I got, I go to grad school to better myself and all what I want from life is a happy relationship leading to marriage. I am not into games or jumping from a person to a person, i just want to find the one i trust to get married and spend my life with.
This girl I am with lied to me about stopping going to a club with her friend. She lied to me about dancing with only girls in a club but she did do so with guys. Yet she says she loves me. She got few kids on her own and God knows I treat them just like they are my own. I get so misreable sometimes, and it is affecting my work life, family and everything. I may have a trust issue, but because of the lying she s been lying to me that made me like this. How can i stop this feeling. I remember i was so happy when I was single, never had to worry some1 cheatin on me. help

Answer 1

Well, Bud she got your number, so to speak.
If you are looking for someone to settle down with and have a family, she isn't it.
She has her family and she knows you are looking after her and them read good!!!! get my drift.
Why would she want to ruin a good thing.
she is immature, a player and as insincere as an onion.
You are a mark my dear and better take off your blinders.......
You need to get rid of this albatross around your neck and get moving on so you can start a new life and find that special one........ cause she ain't it.
working hard at education and being responsible is an admirable quality and you should be proud of your achievements.
She is not interested in settling down or do you not see the red flags that are popping up all over the place. Be honest now, don't you really see this whole thing and how it is playing out.......
I would be so out of this relationship and cut my losses.
She was a life lesson for you that you can't trust everybody and not everybody is a good person.
You have learned something here and now you will be able to see more clearly before you hop into your next relationship

Answer 2

Read what you wrote, "I am not into games or jumping from person to person, I just want to find the one I trust to get married and spend my life with." Notice the word trust is where love would normally be?

She has lied to you - some people lie because they feel the truth will make the other person angry. Would you have been angry about what she did if she had told you the truth? Being honest with yourself allows you to be honest with others. The word trust in your sentence tells me that you do have trust issues and have been hurt - she can't fix that, only you can. I would share that until you work on the past issues in your life it is likely that you will keep replaying them until they are resolved. In other words, you will continue to find the same relationships - same play, different actor. Start with yourself and when you are healed from your painful past and feeling good about yourself, then look for that lifetime partner. You attract what you are - if you are insecure - you will attract an insecure person and both of you will fail to make the other secure as no one can do that for you. The best help with life's relationships are in the bible and christian counselors are available. Trust God - he won't let you down. And remember, you are not alone - so many of us have been hurt, rejected, used, lied to, etc. . . but it can be overcome.

The Lord is your savior. Let him love you.

Answer 3

Honey I couldn't be in a relationship if there was lying - I could not depict the truth from the lies. You have to determine why is she lying? Are you running a tight ship there? Or is it that she's got another agenda? In that case, there is no relationship.... truthfully, if that's the case, you don't want to keep her in it against her will. So give her an ultimatum, and let her choose. That way you can't be blaming yourself. And the kids, well it's unfortunate, but it will be okay. You can't linger there any longer like that. You have to get out or you won't be able to get over that relationship. And lastly you will need the space to find you own corner of heaven or you're doomed to total misery for the rest of your life, and the truth is, life is too darn short to waste it like that!! Good luck to you!

Answer 4

....trust will always be most important in any relationship you'll ever have really...communication will be important too. I'm thinking a huge civil and honest conversation is in deep order here honestly. We'll all only be guessing as to why she's acting in this non relationship type manner here otherwise. She is allowed to have friends ya know...just not extra sleeping friends frivolously. You're feeling jealous and possessive of this woman right now partner. I say just ask her how she's feeling about the relationship recently? Most people don't lie too well partner. Look her in the eyes when you talk with her certainly! I believe cheaters like getting caught eventually. It's their cowardly way of moving out of one bad relationship and into another bad one continuously. The ups and downs of cheaters is quite draining mentally for anyone. Come and go relationships are generally spurred by cheating ideals and behaviors. This is also a pure sign of cheating in off and on again relationships too. You won't find out nothing till you ask her directly here though...so just ask her. It's your right in a relationship that's feeling uneasy to ask questions. Just don't get personal with her dude. Her defense mechanism will kick in on ya if you do!

Answer 5

You may be ready to settle down, but that doesn't mean that she is. She might just need a little more time to be young and flirtatious. Just because she dances with another guy doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. I'm concerned about the lying, but I'm also not exactly sure why you are so worried about her dancing with other guys. In any case, if she really isn't trustworthy then you should give her an ultimatum and leave if she continues to lie. But just because she dances with guys doesn't mean she's cheating.

Answer 6

It sounds like you can't trust her to keep her word. Sometimes our friends do see things that we cannot. If I were you, I would find another girl friend that you can trust.

Answer 7

for a relationship u last..trust is the most important factor...i think u should tell your feelings to her & demand the truth from her..if she cannot do so...forget about this relationship...get someone else worth ur attention