I'm at the end off my teather with my son?

Question

im at the point no were i dont know what to do!! my last option is to smack him ( i know its wrong but that how im feeling, iv not hit him yet) you see the thing is if i talk to him he looks at me with this look and i know he aint listening i havr taken him for a hearing test and he past that with flying colours, if i tell him to get me a cup from the kitchen he will go into the kitchen and forget what i have just told him and will have to ask again what did i ask for, he always to be in a world of his own, his teachers have noticed this too and he has had two meetings with a health adviser they have said he has got a problem but as yet iv got to wait on the looooong waiting list to get some help for him! but how do i cope with it all???? im very low now and feel i cant cope no more???

Answer 1

Well sweetie, first of all you need to have some patience with your son. I know it's hard and stressful but you can do it. Honestly, I think you need to take your son to the doctor and get him checked for ADD ( Attention Deficit Disorder ). My son is now 9 and at the age of 5 he was having trouble focusing, listening and understanding the things I would tell him to do. At first I thought he was just being a brat but then I had a teachers conference and she noticed that he had a hard time listening, focusing and understanding. Sure enough my baby was diagnose to ADHD cause he was hyper as well. Its not your child's fault that he might have something wrong with him. Just try to be patient with him and help him.

Answer 2

How old is he?
My son (aged 5 now) had a serious problem not being able to remember and follow instructions. He was well past 4 before he could dress himself, and at nursery last year the teacher assumed it was a case of bad parenting: how could such an intelligent child be so backward in personal organisation and so on? Well, several people have told me he's plainly autistic; he's brilliant at Maths but from babyhood had his own world, didn't like close cuddles, etc. Other marks of autism my son shows: sensitivity to loud noise and dislike of high-pitched voices; claustrophobia and panic about buttons; strange hand-flapping movements when he's intent on something; unwillingness to do things until he's sure he is able and ready; and so on. If you recognise anything, it's worth doing some research yourself. There are plenty of other behaviour disorders as well, but I've heard that most of them respond quite well to Omega 3 supplements.

Answer 3

When you talk to him try getting right down at his level. Ask him if he understands what you are asking him. Have him repeat it back to you. Then reward him for staying on track. If he doesn't do as you ask find some thing like standing in the corner or sitting on the naughty stool. I don't want to be vain but I really don't see a problem with smacking a child's butt when they have been bad. I do as a last resort and I only use my hand I never hit them with any thing other than my hand. People have done it for years and look back on generations of our parents and look at the respect that they have for people vs. the respect today's youth have for people. But if your child has some kind of under lining problems that need to be met spanking probably won't get your point across any more than talking. Also if you have insurance you might try taking him to his pediatrician or even therapist to try to get a diagnoses faster. And if that is taking to long find a second opinion. You can only handle so much. If it gets to be to much the stress and being down go talk to your doctor they do have anti depressant that will help you get through hard time if needed. Best of Luck.

Answer 4

Get out as much as possible to other mother and child groups; often problems are magnified at home and it is good to talk with other mothers and see how their children are. See if there are any groups for children with special needs/asperger/adhd that you could go along to and talk with other parents/rpfessionals. And as a previous person said, don't be afraid to go and see your doctor because you may need a mild anti-depressant to help you through a difficult time in your life and you could always ask about counseeling services if you have other problems . You don't mention a partner but if you feel you have no support from family then ask around the schools and local health clinic what support groups there might be for you and your child.

Answer 5

I'm not sure at what age ADD (attention deficit disorder) starts but it sounds like that's what he has.
Don't smack him....try to be patient, try even letting him go over to other friends or family member's homes where he can play and be around more kids just so you can get a break from him for a couple of hours a day....you sound like you sure could use some time for r&r, also having some time just for yourself will help you be alot more patient with your son since then you don't feel so deprived that when he does something you don't like you don't end up getting so frustrated and angry with him that you do smack him

Answer 6

This reminds me of the trouble I had with my eldest son, I eventually found out he had Dyspraxia, he has very poor short term memory (if I ask him to do three things he will maybe only remember one if any or walk out of the room and totally forget altogether), he has really bad co-ordination and when he was younger had trouble using cutlery and dressing (would put things on back to front), I found out a lot of information myself and eventually got him referred to the hospital and he has drastically improved with physiotherapy, it may not be what is wrong with your son but maybe worth looking into.
Have a look on the web there are several good websites giving you signs to look for ie didn't crawl much as a baby, lack of concentration, inability to mix well with peers, temper tentrums, poor fine motor skills.
There are several private clinics that can help but I did find loads of help on the internet, hope this helps I know how difficult and frustrating it is, hope you get some help soon

Answer 7

I have a daughter who is always away with the fairies but i know whats wrong with her, she just gets distracted too easily by the televsion so it has been restricted at times.

On the other hand if I were you, i'd look up aspergers syndrome, its a mild form of autism. My nephew has aspergers and is in his own little world for the most part, academically he does well, he has an amazing memory and can do video games standing on his head.

People with aspergers can go on and lead relatively normal lives, they just have a different out look on life, set rules and routine.

I also have a friend whose brother has aspergers he carries on like you and me would to the point that he has a girlfriend and is thinking of moving in with her.

I'm not a doc, but it is a possibility it could be aspergers....

Like I said, look it up on here and see if your son has any other indications that may be down to aspergers.

Good luck!

Answer 8

smack him?
because you can't cope?

sorry I dont agree with that, why should he be punished because you cant control your anger.

you need to get to the bottom of this, why is he behaving like this, is he happy otherwise?
I'm really sorry you are going through this, you have a computer at your finger tips, use your energy finding out what this could be.

go and have a look on www.babycentre.co.uk

Its the best website about children and toddlers.

Just remember, he loves you and does not realise at such a young age how to make you angry, he has a child's mind and I am sure he does not want to make you unhappy.

Answer 9

Make an appointment to see your doctor for yourself, tell him what you've told us, he might be able to help in some way. It wont be like this forever, just be patient and remember this might not be your sons fault, he may have difficulties, do what you can to move him up that waiting list.
Good luck

Answer 10

It sounds like he may have a language or attentional deficit. When you ask him to do something, like bring you a cup, have him repeat the direction before he goes to do it. Say, "Please bring mommy a cup? What did I ask you to do?" Then have him tell you, and then go get the cup. This helps him to attend to the direction and remember it once he gets into the kitchen. Little exercises like this will help to improve his language and attention. Good luck and I hope your son improves.