Imagine you were married for 25 years to a person of the opposite gender, had 5 kids, then realized you're gay

Question

Would you divorce your spouse, or put your personal desire aside for the sake of your children's home and out of consideration to the person who married you in good faith. (Please, no weird answers about how its impossible, my question is based on an Oprah where all her guests had this happen.)

Could everyone who didn't really answer the question remove their answer, it's crowding up the screen.

Answer 1

I believe that the commitments I make are very important. If I had any urges that went against my marriage commitment (whether they were for a male or female) I would reject them and focus on my husband. Our feelings aren't as unpredictable as many would choose to believe. When we focus our time, money, energy, and effort in a direction, our heart and feelings follow. It is really true that "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

This principle also works in reverse. For example, if I wanted to end the feelings for someone, then I wouldn't give any time, money, effort, or energy in that direction, and the feelings would die out. The Bible says to "take every thought captive." I would refocus my thoughts where they belong.

Leaving a spouse and children to pursue one's own desires is incredibly selfish. Staying might mean having to deny self, but all commitments require some type of self-denial. Staying and focusing on loving the people one already has is the higher ground and really the place of greater reward.

Answer 2

Nobody chooses to be gay. That makes no sense. This person would likely to have always been gay or at least bisexual. The moral issue would arise if there is a desire for sex outside the marriage. Since the decision to divorce or continue as a family but not acting on desires for same sex relations involves the entire family, what is ever on the best interests of the children is what should come first. Tougher question than appears on the surface. I would say the needs of the kids should come first. Once they are on their own, the decision of how to go forward needs to be addressed.

The major issue here involves sex outside the marriage gender notwithstanding and what is truly the right thing to do. The hurt spouse deserves a genuine relationship. I am not gay myself and I am on occasion attracted to women other than my wife but that doesn't mean I am going to act on that. I might see some platter at a restaurant and check it out as the server passes by. Doesn't mean I am going to reach over and get a sample. "I'll have what he's having"

Answer 3

I think that only happens through the person trying to deny who they are, for whatever reasons. They will have known they were gay for quite some time and tried to fight it. It's very sad.

I cannot imagine this happening to me purely because it never would. I have such a supportive group of friends with different sexual orientations and I couldn't ask for a better mum or dad who only want my happiness. There is no pressure on me from anywhere to be straight, gay or bisexual. I'm not saying it would be easy to come out but if that is what I had to do I know that all of the people I love would still love me back.
This kind of situation would never happen if people opened their eyes and accepted that sexuality is something very real and innate, trying to fight it can only lead to bad things later on down the line.
Hopefully in time there will be less condemnation and more support for gay people so that in the future nobody would ever be able to imagine that these situations could possibly arise.

Answer 4

I feel sorry for those people, but I do not believe exactly what they represent publically to be the truth. You know people are fantastic liars when it comes to getting sympathy. Are there mixed up people in the world, I guess this shows that there is. I am also glad that I have nothing to worry about. I have been married for 15. I know I'm not gay. My wife does too. I love my wife, and she loves me. I think that by outing themselves, it is a selfish way to END their marriage.
I am married to my wife forever now. I cannot picture life without her. Changing sexuality would be a betrayal of her. She is after all better than any man I have ever met.

Answer 5

Edward, actual the sky isn't blue. this is glaring. Liberal hypocrisy and lies is what it somewhat is. pondering the historic saying is going "strikes save up a correspondence louder than words" - liberal abortion clinics evaluate in gender located termination. Now it extremely is the feared section - you are able to't particularly even wager on the gender till on the least sixteen weeks - 2d trimester. And now new examine reveal that fetus's is often equipped to contemplate suffering as early as 18 weeks. for people who choose to have a purpose to try against for, watch "The silent scream". Many respected determination nurses have long previous expert existence. Our incomplete sciences shouldn't waiting to grant an evidence for away the 'expressions' those aborted toddlers are making. you will see that the mouth open and the physique twitch. yet they nonetheless help late term abortions, on an analogous time as on an analogous time as asserting "We combat for people who could desire to not waiting to combat for themselves" . Liberals make me unwell.

Answer 6

Oh, so of course, if it was discussed on Oprah it must be infallibly true. I find it difficult to imagine that some one would not realize long before 25 years of heterosexual marriage and the birth of 5 children that they were homosexual. It isn't a virus one catches and suddenly cause a dramatic shift in belief and action. I think there is much much more to this scenario and this is not the forum that can take on such a complicated explanation.

Answer 7

I think 25 years (plus) is an awful long time to deny who you are. I'm sure exposing it after that long having a wife and kids was not an easy thing to do. My guess is that the spouse probably had some inkling. This very thing happened to a friend of mine. Her husband came out of the closet after 9 years and two kids. They divorced. A parent does not have to be in the home to be a good parent.

Answer 8

I would put my personal desire for the sake of my children's home amd out of consideration to the person who married me in good faith.

Answer 9

1. No one just suddenly realizes they are gay, they may deny what they feel due to upbringing and such, but they know the feeling are there.

Me personally, I would take my spouse to the side, and tell them the truth, deal with the fireworks. After which we as a couple would decide what our next step would be.

Answer 10

I would stay. I would not be so selfish to leave my husband and children after 25 years just for my sake. If I felt that way, I wouldn't get in the marriage in the first place. But after all that, it would be cruel to do so.