abusive dad?

Question

my mom died 4 months ago and i am very upset,and so is my dad but im finding it impossible to live with him he is extremely short tempered like i walked the wrong way to the the car today and he was saying we may aswell pack it in if your as silly to do things like that and he shouts at me over anything and smashes things and says you put your mother in her grave.when i tell him he's giving out to me he screams and shouts and smashes things, he's lazy and wont get up and then i get the blame.my lifestyle is screwed up.he always gives out about MY aunties and uncles and never has anything good to say about anyone if i disagree with him he says that im trying to start a fight . his niece was coming out yesterday and i asked him what time she would be here at and he screamed at me how am i supposed to no?.i seiriously cannot live like this i am an only child and my house is depressing and i cant really get out of it.the only place im happy is down the country with my mothers family but

he would probably kill himself, im an only child and 14 and i feel so lonely the house is so empty i feel like im dying and i just want to but then againn i dont im feeling suicidal.

and also i wouldnt say my moms family want me as they have young children themselves.

Answer 1

Sounds like Your father is heartbroken & taking it out on you. My opinion is that he needs therapy, or someone to talk to, very soon before his behavior turns into a permanent part of his personality. Right now I think that the best thing you can do is talk to a school counselor & find out about bereavement groups or someone who might be able to help.

Answer 2

You're a very smart person.. Your dad is depressed because of the loss of your mother, and he's taking it out on you, because you're the only one around.
You both need counceling. Have you tried to talk to your father about that? Do you have any grandparents, you can talk to about how you feel? You need to talk to someone. So, find a teacher, councelor at school, or other family member, and tell them how you feel.

Ask your dad if you can spend weekends with your mother's family. There is always hope. Things will get better, when you get help.

You are a very smart girl, I can tell by the way you explained your question. You are feeling down, right now. And that's to be expected, you've had some pretty bad things happen to you. But you have your whole life ahead of you, you just need take some steps to make things easier for you.
Talk to someone, there is someone out there who can help you, so go find them.
I wish you all the best...

Answer 3

Poor Baby. I mean that sincerely. I don't know how old you are, but, I guess you are a minor. You really need to talk to someone and get some help. Your father seems incapable of handling his grief and it comes out in the form of anger directed at you. You need support and time to grieve also and he won't let you have that and he can't give it. Make a list of all your Mom's family and let them know what's going on . Make sure they understand that they should NEVER let your Dad know of your conversations on this! You need to find someone that can give you the security of peace of mind. Don't be afraid to ask. If the Family list gets tapped out, check with the local social services or church. (are there any friends' Moms that you like or trust?) I know that you will be worried about your dad, but, the reality is, he's a lost soul with only himself to blame and he is the only one to find it again. That's his problem and not yours. No one can tell the future, but , you can see it there at your house with things the way they are. Is there any descent men in your Dad's circle of Friends that can straighten him out? ( if they haven't helped him yet maybe you shouldn't go in that direction) Please think of yourself first. You have done nothing wrong nor will you do anything wrong except maybe blaming yourself. I will keep you in my Prayers.

Answer 4

Your dad really needs help. I had this happen to me and eventually the abuse turned to sexual and there was nothing I could do about it until the state found out about it. He was put in jail and I was put in foster care. You don't want this to happen. Try to talk to anybody, social services, school counselor, relatives. Seriously talk to them before things get out of hand and people will end up hurt. I know my life would be a lot different than it is now if I would've opened my mouth sooner.

Answer 5

My dear you will have to explain to your dad as to how u feel about things especially after loosing your mum. You will have to tell him that you too are very upset about it.. He should try to understand something he is your dad.

Unless you talk to your dad he will never understand and in case he does not then you will have to ask someone in your family to talk to him about this. Stay at your mum's family's place for few days... let your dad know that he will have to change as you are a child and his daughter. He will have to be lil more loving and care to you especially you being the only one. Take a break go and stay for a while at your mum's family or friends. Take care and God Bless!!

Answer 6

You and your dad seriously need to get some counseling. If you can't do the psychiatrist thing, try contacting your hospital or social service agency to find out about grief counseling. You should call a suicide hotline RIGHT NOW because you worry me. Please get some help.. Your dad doesn't mean the things he says to you. I don't have the number but you should ask someone at school or one of your mom's relatives.

Answer 7

check out the book below. it may give you some helpful hints and tips towards dealing with your fathers abuse. he is in mourning, but he doesn't know how to express his feelings properly. i would say to seek out your family first (aunts, uncles, grandparents). don't think about the fact that they already have children. you never know exactly what their situation is so they may be able to help you. but if it gets to the point to where you can't take it..i STRONGLY suggest for you to call child services. you dad may have to lose everything before he gets his act straight. try not to focus on staying with your dad because of 'love.' or you could end up in the hosiptal or in the grave.

Answer 8

You need to talk to someone. You are dealing with a lot and your dad isn't making it easy for you at all. He is going through pain too and he is taking it out on you. Go to your school Guidance councilor. She will listen to you and help you through this. Do not commit suicide, you have so much life to live. It is tough right now, but you will get through this.

Answer 9

You really need to talk to your other family about this.You need to move out until your Dad gets himself together.He needs time to heal.It is not your fault at all,,you hear me? I promise that better days are coming.Im so sorry to hear of your loss.I care.Pleaseeee talk to your aunt about everything here & I can bet that you would be more welcomed than you think.If this does not go over well,,talk to the councilor in your school.Make her listen & help you.

Answer 10

Well tell your dad to get help.Or talk to your consular in your school tell her what going on and they will help you and trust me your dad wont kill himself if yu leave and go to leave with your aunts. He is just hurt and needs help it is hard for an adult to ask for help or let someone know that he cannot hendle the pain.Please get help before you dad beats you.