Need help/support about euthanizing cat! please?

Question

after many months of searching for a reason as to why my cat was pulling out his hair violently and breaking open his skin until it became affected... not to ment 3 lb weight loss in the last 4 months, yestarday the vet said she thought he had autoimmune skin disease and by the looks of him that he is really suffering, I agree.. we originally thought he had OCD and that was why.. we treated him for allergies, dermatitis, fungis, fleas, and even depression.. the cost has been great, both financally and emotionally and yestarday she said she wanted to observe him for a few days, but agreed that we needed to make a desicion about euthanizing soon.. because she is sure he will die either way.. Its a hard desicion to make, we are so attached to him, my four year old has wondered where he was all day.. has anyone else ever had to make this desicion, and any advice would be great!

Answer 1

I think just about every pet owner has been through this. Or will go through it eventually. Euthanizing a pet is one of the most difficult decisions to make. And PLEASE do call it Euthanize and explain what it means to Junior. It means ending your pet's suffering.

But remember, pets don't live as long as we do (elephants and parrots notwithstanding). So ending your pet's suffering is a part of pet ownership. Doesn't make it easier, though. Mr. Kitty is a cherished part of your family.

The only thing is, that Mr. Kitty is suffering. He is sick and can't really understand what's going on - except that he's sick. That's a terrible place for a pet to be. Now, if he was comfortable and content, perhaps you could just wait it out - but if he's suffering, and miserable and infected etc. then be kind enough to let him die with dignity.

For your child, Mr.Rogers put out a wonderful book that explains about death and what it is. If it's still in print - it's priceless. He was a brilliant man.

Again, don't call it "putting to sleep." Call it "ending suffering" or something else. That way Junior won't confuse sleep (rest) with death. You have enough to do dealing with the loss of Mr Kitty without having to explain to Junior that no, he won't die if he takes his nap.

Answer 2

When Being Strong Hurts More Than Grieving Can
The death of a pet is never an easy time. Whether it is an older animal, who may have been a part of the family longer than most of the furniture and some of the children, or a pet who has been with you for only a few years, the loss can be truly traumatic. And if the end comes through a conscious decision for euthanasia, other emotions become entangled with the basic sense of loss. Once it's over, you may prefer to think that the experience is behind you. Unfortunately, it is not.

There will be a hole in your household and in your life for a while, and for the first part of that "while" the hole may seem huge. There ARE ways to fill the gap. However, the loss itself is not something you can simply ignore, assuming that your world will adjust itself. Instead, you must deal with that something, just as you would deal with the loss of any other good friend. Yes, it is a different kind of relationship, but to behave otherwise is to try and change your attitude in mid-stride. You cannot expect yourself to think of your pet as a friend and then to dismiss those feelings as disposable because THIS friend happened to be an animal. It is NOT silly to miss your pet, and it is NOT overly sentimental to grieve.

Another difference lies in the always complicated idea of "what happens next". Many people, especially older folks, express a very real concern that they won't see their animals in the next life (whatever that may be) because they have been told that animals have no souls. Maybe you, like me, are a little unsure about what exactly " the next life" holds for any of us. However, if having a soul means being able to feel love and trust and gratitude, then aren't some animals better equipped than a lot of humans?

But still, he was pet and not a person, and that makes it more complicated to sort out exactly what you are supposed to do and feel. Although we recognize the individual personalities in pets, that doesn't mean that they are just little people. The relationship you have with your pet is different from any human relationship you may have. We have the responsibility to care for animals and to learn from them. As we domesticated pets, they became dependent upon us for their needs. Part of caring for them, especially in a technologically advanced society, often means deciding when an animal can no longer live a happy life or even a content one.

When an animal is made a pet by a responsible, caring person, he is being given exactly what he needs and wants: his "creature comforts", companionship, and the opportunity to return the favor through loyalty and affection. Dogs, especially, are naturally eager to please the "leader of the pack", and the owner takes on that role. So the dog is never happier than when he knows that he is pleasing that person. When he is too old or too sick to respond in the way HE thinks he should, he can't understand why and feels the anxiety of failure.

Because their natural life-spans are shorter than ours, we usually outlive our pets. However, the life you shared cannot simply be abandoned. Don't deny yourself the thoughts, memories, and feelings that your pet's life deserves. You may decide to fill the hole with another pet. However, you can never replace the special bond you held with the one who is gone.

I am sorry but you are doing the right thing if he is suffering I had to do the same with a horse it isn't easy but I also recomend you get another cat soon after not to replace but to remember you seem like a great pet owner.

Answer 3

It's a quality of life issue. Once they are in pain and there isn't much enjoyment in life for the cat, it's time to do the right thing. If it were me, I would put the cat down. I've gone through this with about 4 or 5 animals, and it never gets easier. It's a decision only you can make, with some guidence from the vet as well. I think watching the cat suffer will only make life harder for you and your cat.
I'm so sorry. Good luck

Answer 4

I will tell you this much but no one can make the decision for you.

If the vet could fix the problem then I would give it a try. Some vets will encourage euth. like a hard press. While some vets wouldn't I would consider a second opinion to be honest. If you trust your vet whole heartedly, maybe not. But I would get a second opinion.

If your darling is in pain and nothing can help it then its possible you may have to consider putting him down.

If you decide not to put him down right away, or at all, make him feel as comfortable as possible, get some cat nip, canned cat food, etc and make him even more spoiled. When he gets to the very end, then its definately time to euthanize him.

I had a cat that had a problem to where we had to decide weather or not to put him down and we chose not to, some people would think thats cruel but we kept him very comfortable, he passed away purring with a smile on his face, not scared out of his mind with foam coming out of his mouth.

Keep this in mind, I pray for him and you that you both find peace.

Answer 5

I had an older cat with similar symptoms...loss of fur and weight with sores all over his body. He was originally diagnosed with a type of small cell cancer, although the symptoms and presentation did not add up. The vet tried him on prednisone and he improved and lived a quality life for 5-6 more years and died at 17 after a series of cardiac events (probably due to the prednisone and old age).
He was euthanized and it is was a very difficult decision to make. The main guiding factor for me was his quality of life, comfort and likelihood of improvement. One question I have asked every vet when making this type of decision is "If s/he were your cat what would you do or consider?"
Good luck.

Answer 6

I really feel for you, I have not had to make that decision for my cat but I really send my sympathies. She is my sunshine and cant imagine what you must be feeling. Making that decision, especially when the vet says she will die anyway might be the best gift you can give your pet.....relief. Give yourself the chance to be there with him, hold him, love him in his final moments....let him die being loved not alone in a cage at the vet's. You have a chance to control how you can say goodbye. I know you have already spent alot but you may want to invest in cremation with him, where i live in canada it only costs just over a hundred dollars. This way you and your son can have a little goodbye ceremony, you can keep him and still feel him near.....or spread his ashes and say goodbye together. maybe even take him with you if you decide to get another pet. Goodluck, and i send my best.

Answer 7

I had to put my dog down -- I had her longer than my kids!! That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. BUT -- I had a wonderful Vet that explained that there was nothing left that he could do, she would eventually just stop breathing (she was having trouble breathing and would basically suffocate - eventually). I could not just sit back and watch that happen, so I signed the paper and cried for years every time I saw her photo. The bottom line is -- do you want him to continue to suffer just because you will miss him? That in itself is cruel, love him enough to let him go. As for your 4yr old - wait a month or so and then let him/her go with you to pick out a new kitten -- NO it will not be a replacement, but a baby (4yr old) is going to need the comfort/cuddling of another furry friend at this time. You will probably not bond too quickly with the new little one, but you child will! As hard as all of this is going to be for you -- please love your little furry baby and your real baby enough to just go on with life.

Answer 8

DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR BABY.Yes I said baby because they become so much a part of your family. I had to make this choice with my beloved Rocky The peoples Chump. It was a hard choice but what is even harder is to sit back and watch that suffering. Rocky has been gone for 3 years now but we still talk about him and the things we did. The fact that we traveled 200 miles to pick up a dog that no body wanted and giving him a warm and loving home is and will all ways be one of our best memories.

Answer 9

I would get a second oppion and research cat illnesses that can result in your cats state of being. I dont know what kind of vet you are useing but a vet that deals with only cats may be something you can look into?

Its allways hard to make this dession but you have to do whats best for your friend. If there is nothing that can be done except prolonging her life with pain then the best thing to do is to let him go. Just tell yourself its in your cats best interest and know you are ending his suffering. I'm sorry your going threw this.

Answer 10

putting a friend to sleep is a hard thing to do but if you look at it from your cat's point of view going to sleep forever might be better then the pain he's in now.

when/ if you do put your cat down it might be a good idea to stay with him while they euthanize him. some veterinarians are also willing to euthanize a pet at home so the cat feels safe. if you can handle seeing your cat put down it might be of some comfort to him if you hold him and talk to him. try to make his last days comfortable and pleasant. love on him and spoil him until his last minutes if you decide to put him down.

take this time to talk to your child about loving a pet no matter what the pet has to go through. you can use this painful time to teach you child life-lessons about loving and respecting the furry people we choose to live with. when/if you decide to get another pet consider adoption and take your child with you to help choose your next family member.

the pet-loss website is able to offer support to you and help you through losing your beloved cat. you have my support.