abusive dad?

Question

my mom died 4 months ago and i am very upset,and so is my dad but im finding it impossible to live with him he is extremely short tempered like i walked the wrong way to the the car today and he was saying we may aswell pack it in if your as silly to do things like that and he shouts at me over anything and smashes things and says you put your mother in her grave.when i tell him he's giving out to me he screams and shouts and smashes things, he's lazy and wont get up and then i get the blame.my lifestyle is screwed up.he always gives out about MY aunties and uncles and never has anything good to say about anyone if i disagree with him he says that im trying to start a fight . his niece was coming out yesterday and i asked him what time she would be here at and he screamed at me how am i supposed to no?.i seiriously cannot live like this i am an only child and my house is depressing and i cant really get out of it.the only place im happy is down the country with my mothers family but

i cannot live there first of all because my dad would more than likely kill himself as when i was away for a week he needed people constantly coming over so he wouldnt and secondly i dont know if they would want me.i dont know what to do i would kill myself but im scared that i would go to hell but there is know other way out and i love my dad but i cant cope its not from my bereavment but from my lifestyle i never spent time with him before i spent all my time with my mom.im 14 btw with no brothers or sisters.

Answer 1

well how old are you? depending on you age you can get emancipated, i kno wat you going through my dads abusive too just i still have my mom but she lets him do it to me. if you cant get emancipated try telling someone about the situation and see if you can live with a close friend or another relative. you need to do wats best for you and living there isnt the best thing for you!

Answer 2

You need to really have a talk with your dad. Try talking to him when you 2 are alone. Be very patient. Explain to him exactly how you are feeling. Then tell him how he makes you feel. He's obviously hurting. So are you. If that doesn't work try talking to someone who you can trust and respect their opinion. Somebody that can give you good advice. Someone mature. Preferably someone you and your dad respect. Then see if that person can help you and your dad work things out. If that doesn't work you may have to consider moving and living with someone else. It may hurt to move out. But no one deserve to be abused. There's never an excuse for it. Only use this option as a last resort. You have to take steps to deal with the problem. Your dad may not be able to or want to take these steps at this step. He may not see the need. You do.

Answer 3

You didn't say how old you are. I'm sosorry you've lost your mom. And I'm so your dad has lost his wife. It sounds like your dad isn't dealing very well with his loss at all. As a matter of fact, you appear to be the adult right now. Maybe you could go for a visit to where your moms family is - just for a few weeks even. It might help for him to mourn his loss and help you get the support and love you really need rightnow.

Answer 4

Sorry about your mom. How old are you? It is in your best interest to probably speak to a counsellor of some sort. If you are in school you can find someone there or you may have to look in the phonebook. Also, contact your mother's family. They will probably be able to help. The one thing you need to realize is that you don't have to deal with this all on your own. There are people out there who can help.

Answer 5

Wow...how about talking to your school counselor and maybe she can suggest a group therapy session with your dad...Im sure he is having a hard time coping with your mothers death as well...all people deal with it in different ways..I don't agree with the way he is dealing with it but maybe if you two sit down and talk to a thrid party and get things out in the open it will help!


Good Luck Sweetie!!

Answer 6

Well for one move to your Mom's family's house and don't worry because when someone is saying he's going to kill himself all they want is attention. AND you shoudln't be going thru that, for one if you called the cops they can put him in jail for mental abuse and your too young to be goingthru that just because you Dad doesn't have to balls to move on. He is just been that way because now he doesn't know what to do, Your Mom must have done everything at home for him to act liek this. But yur best bet is to move before you have amental break down and you can become depressed real bad. AND don't thing about killing yourself because your Mom's family will be so hurt and yea you can go to Hell too. SO talk to your aunt's and uncls and ahve them go to yoru house get all your things and move out before it's too late. Because with anger comes madness and maybe not now but later he will hit you and it will be worse.

Answer 7

hey your not the only one. my dad is like that too even tho my mom didnt die. all i can really do is go to my friends house for a few days and when i come back, i tell him that if he wants me to be gone for good then he can keep acting like a prick for no reason. he usually stops for a few days but when he starts up again i just leave. you should try going to friends houses when he is like that. just leave him a note saying you'll be back in a few days and you will still go to school or w/e you wunna put. but being away from that horrid environment will be really good for you. i know ya dont know me but if you want someone to talk to email me :slipknotedwithkorn@yahoo. hope everything is alright.

Answer 8

call social sevices and ask to be seen by a counselor.. and tell her what is up they will be happy to set a meeting and maybe the 3 of you can find a happy medium.. maybe you can spend some time there. and with your dad.. but in any event it will be a wake up call for him you are really unhappy.. and if that make s anything worse.. you will have documented record, that that is not a fit place for you to live.!!!!!! i did it!!!!!!
my mom would bring home bums form the street. and get drunk with them.. etc etc.. i got out!..i called social services

Answer 9

Everyone deals with grief differently, but to tkae it out on his only daughter is wrong. Maybe a break with your Mother's family would be good for both of you. Call them and ask if you can live with them for a while until your father can become sane again.

Answer 10

you need to get ahold of your moms family cause you don't deserve to get that crap from your own dad , say'ing thing's like that to you about your mom is bull just find a way out and get there , he need's to focus on him now w/out you around so he can think long and hard by him self . so contact your family thay should help you ,try to be srong my dad used to beat me down for fun i know what you need & it's call'ed support