I have a 21 year old son who seems completely indifferent when I am around. He always runs to my mom, husband and aunt with happiness. But he constantly walks away from me, has no desire to play with me when I try, he never laughs or smiles with me. He doesn't want anything to do with me. My husband and I work full time and my aunt takes care of him during the day...which I understand is why he is so loving to her. But when I get home and it is just he and I he isn't interested in me. My husband is around even less, but my son just loves to be around him and wants to play with him. I don't know what to do, I am very depressed from lack of sleep, and feel very alone when my son pushs me away. Is this normal? I can't think of why. I am the one that disciplines him the most, could that be it? I am not harsh...just the typical "NO" once in a while when it is needed. I want my son to love me and want to be with me.
2007-03-06 03:40:45 · 14 answers · asked by acw38 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I feel your pain! All three of mine were daddy's kids until they got older (or really sick). Both of us work full time and we take turns dropping off and picking up from school/sitter. But somehow my hubby knew/knows just how to play with them and they went to him much more between 1 and 3. #2 daughter is still very much daddy's girl, but #3 son just got over a bad case of stomach flu and is a mama's boy (for now). Our eldest shares his love and frustrations equally between us.
PLEASE try and get better sleep - things look better when you're not exhausted.
Yes it's painful for us to be snubbed, but it is just a phase that he will grow out of. I did find that at this age if I 'hid' myself under a towel or small blanket and started asking 'where's mama' I could get them interested. Or taking a 'negative' approach - you don't want to do blocks, mama will do blocks. A toddler rarely can resist doing what they are told they can't. Good luck.
2007-03-06 04:41:54 · answer #1 · answered by g-lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the # 1 person in his life. He is growing up and he is starting to be interested in the world outside of himself. Dad and Grandma are more of a novelty. Kids will show favoritism, but it doesn't mean he loves you less.
It sounds to me like you may be experiencing some post partum depression. (it can last up to 3-5 years after the baby is born) If you get it under control, you may find that he is more fun than he seems. An SSRI (anti-depressant) will help with the lack of sleep. Been there. Take care of his mom, because he deserves to have a happy mom.
2007-03-06 11:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by s f 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It might be because you are the one that disiplines him but i am sure his Aunt does the same thing when she is with him in the day. Maybe the two of you need alone time out of the house on the weekends. Take him to a park or a play place with other kids. Somthing special that just the two of you do together. Dont take it personal, it is not you. kids can be funny that way sometimes. I know you feel rejected, but he is not rejecting you. If he sees you having fun at home he might just want to join in. I hope this helps. Good luck and Good health to you and yours.
2007-03-06 11:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hon what is happening is that your son views his dad as playmate and you as the one that punishes. This is normal, you need to just sit back and relax these things happen and since you have a boy and they need Daddys approval over everything cause he wants to be the man of the house right along with Daddy. So this weekend set aside sometime (or whenever) and take him out or just have time for the both of you without anybody else. Do this once a month and things should start looking up for you. Good Luck
2007-03-06 12:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jan R 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He does like you. He's in a phase where he's more attracted to other family members. But at 21 months, a child has no concept of manners or politeness.
He'll move out of this phase on his own (and into even more annoying ones, of course, as he moves through toddlerhood and childhood), but in the meantime, here's a suggestion: Try to arrange some family playtime--mom, dad, and son all together. Blocks, ball, playground, art, swimming, drumming on pots, whatever appeals to you, but with the TV off and all three of you participating.
2007-03-06 11:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First I would like to say that latrailer needs to grow up! Most families require both parents working to survive. Many children go through a phase where they are trying to test their limits and assert a little independance so they pull away from the people they are actually closest to. Whoever told you to spend some alone weekend time is correct. Take him to do some fun things like parks or zoos and stuff like that. He should outgrow this.
2007-03-06 11:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say that you are depressed. That definitely affects the way children form bonds with you. You might want to make sure that you get treated so that you can get this straight.
Be glad that he has been able to form attachments to other people, but work on your own attachment with him. Don't give on giving discipline though, they are smart!
2007-03-06 12:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by heidifreckles 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's okay. All children go through phases where they prefer one parent over the other. My 26 month old daughter is currently doing this to my husband. It's perfectly normal, albeit heartbreaking. It has nothing to do with discipline so don't change your habits. He will grow out of it in time.
Please don't listen to the girl above me.
2007-03-06 11:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you mean month, right? are you a SAHM? if so, you're probably the primary disciplinarian, and he sees you ALL day, every day. I see that your aunt watches him, and you work. Since he sees less of your hubby, he probably is more affectionate toward him since he sees less of him. babies can pick up on people's attitudes or vibes. why don't you take him for a date to the park, or for ice cream, and try to have some mommy and me time. if he's pushing away from you, you have to let him know this is not nice behavior. he might look at you as competition for your relative's attention on him. please try not to let this depress you...your little one can sense how your feeling and might be picking up on some animosity toward himself. if the one on one date doesn't work, try to spend time with just him, you, and your hubby so he learns that THIS is his family unit. this will pass.
2007-03-06 11:48:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sirius's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i keep my 2yr old neice during the day while her parents are at work.. and she does the same to her mom. her mom has started reading to her and takes evening walks with her. its not that he dont love you or want to be with u. but hes use to ur daily stuff. change stuff. play with playdoe with him at night or take a walk, find something that is new to him and do it with him.
2007-03-06 11:47:42 · answer #10 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋