winging whiney 5yr old.......................?

Question

for the life of me she is driving me crazy LOL
my daughter has come home from school & is constantly whinning & tormnenting her baby sister, how do i deal with her, she constantly strops & everything is such tears & drama, it is all day & night but school say she is a perfect pupil
AGGHHHH HEEEELLLLPPPP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Oh my God, I know the feeling, my 4 year old can be exactly the same especially when she's been to her Nannys, because like school they have undivided attention. It myabe that she feels a little left out from the baby, maybe you could try, spending some time with her on her own, especially at weekends, just reading a book or colouring together? Good luck

Answer 2

She can do it---- the fact that she can do it at school but not at home tells you that she *gets away with it* at home. So, stop letting her "get away with it" and the behavior will stop. Tell her from now on this is a "no whining zone." She is old enough to communicate her needs in a RESPECTFUL rather than annoying and bratty way. Demonstrate what you mean by "whining" and then show her how she would ask the same question in an appropriate manner. Tell her that whenever she is caught whining---there will be no warning---just a consequence. You can decide what it is. Maybe do this:

Put 3-5 small candies like small chocolate eggs, or the mini reeses pb cups in a bowl. Every time she is caught whining, you take one of the treats away. At the end of the day, she gets to eat what is left. The more she whined, the less she gets. If she did too much whining, she gets nothing. It's a great way to do this because it combines positive reinforcement with negative. DON'T back down when you have to take one and she throws a tantrum. If you do this the whole technique will end up failing. She needs to know that the second you hear her whining you will take one and not look back. Stop the tantrum (that is likely to ensue when you do have to take a candy) by telling her that she has 3 seconds to stop the tantrum or you are taking another. Keep this up as long as you have to, even if she loses all of the candy for the day. When the candy is gone, then the consequence can be time on the naughty spot. (5 minutes---1 minute for each year of her age.)
Then she starts fresh the next day---and most likely she will do better. If she isn't used to any discipline it may take her a while to catch on that you mean business and you MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. But if you are consistent and don't back down, she WILL get it, and you WILL see the results you are looking for.

Answer 3

If you think about it, mum has been home all day with the baby and not me!!! Moreover It takes a lot out of a five year old to be on their best behaviour all day at school!!! Someone has got to pay for all this effort... It is very normal behaviour and to tell you the truth, I was like this, my son was like it and I know a lot more children just the same... Be patient and try not to snap because just remember, she is only 5 and soon she'll get less and less in that mood after school...

Answer 4

you don't say how new the baby is, or how long your daughter's been in school, but it sounds to me like she could be a bit jealous of her baby sister? she could feel like she's been packed off to school because you don't want her to be with you and the baby...

could you try getting the baby into a routine where she's having her afternoon nap when your daughter gets in from school? that way your daughter could get some *special time* with you first thing rather than come in to a house where you are busy with the baby.
other tips are:
make sure you pay her lots of attention when she ISN'T whining or stropping and encourage her to join in playing nicely with the baby with you.
try to ignore her behaviour when she is whining - talk to her gently but firmly, and don't let her manipulate you into giving her what she wants, just to shut her up!
choose your battles - no means no. stick to it. if it doesn't matter whether it's yes or no, then say yes. it's easier all round.
like some other's have mentioned, she may be really tired and need a nap or some quiet time herself when she gets in.
she may also be hungry - try giving her a snack when she gets in - something with no sugar, cos that'll just wind her up even more.

good luck

Answer 5

Ive got one of those!but mines a boy and he's seven now and I swear down he will twist on twenty one but also like your daughter he is a model pupil at school.Is it when she asks you for something and you say"Wait a minute"?or something similar. Ive noticed that this is the case with my son and I know he doesn't entirely grasp the concept of time so a minute could be an eternity as far as hes concerned.I just cross my fingers and hope he grows out of it!!
(alternatively we could use drugs like suggested by another answerer !)GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

my 5 year old is exactly the same, I normally find that time out helps with him - he normally sits on the bottom step for 5 minutes until he is ready to calm down, and I let him know Im not prepared to listen to him while he is making a fuss - 9 time out of 10 this works

good luck

Answer 7

i know the feeling i have a Four and five year old girl too and a 2 month old son what ever i do she always has a strop on and wakes her brother up i think its a phaze they go through for attention

Answer 8

my two do it as soon as they come in from school, there 5 and 6. Its proberly because shes so worn out and tired, Let her lay down for a while and put a video on for her thats what i do.

Answer 9

She needs a nap after school. it takes alot out of a 5 year old to attend school she will feel better and so will you.

Answer 10

Get Supernanny in or watch her programme, she sorts out problems exactly like this one. It won't be easy to fix, but it can be done.