How do we teach little ones to honor thy father and mother when today there is so much child abuse ?

Question

I am a 56 year life long Christian, and fully believe in the Bible, but in the last 10 years, when I am teaching 5 year olds the commandment to honor the father and thy mother, I always want to add a "but", if they are ............ (abusing). I would appreciate only answers from people who agree with this Christian value. If you don't agree with it, please post a question and it can be answered. Not asking for opinions on whether this is a good idea or not, just how to update it IF YOU KNOW HOW.

livinth I would love to hear more from you, would you consider emailing me by clicking on my I love Jesus. It sounds like you may have some good advice for me.
AND TO CLARIFY THIS, WE USED TO BE ABLE TO TELL 5 YEAR OLDS TO GO TO A POLICEMAN OR SAFE PERSON IN UNIFORM FOR SAFETY, BUT THIS IS NOT THE CASE ANYMORE BECAUSE OF PEDIOPHILES ETC. I GUESS THIS IS CONNECTED TO WHAT I AM ASKING ABOUT HONOR, IF A FATHER RAPES HIS 5 YEAR OLD, IN WHAT WAYS, IN SINCERITY , CAN SHE HONOR HER DAD, I WANT TO SHOW MERCY AND FORGIVENESS AND ALL,I;M TRULY SEEKING, NOT TRYING TO JUDGE, JUST TO HELP WEE ONES IN THIS SCARY WORLD.

I just called a friend at church and she gave me what I was looking for. In 5 year old language, "Do what your mommy and daddy tell you to do, unless they tell you to do something you know Jesus wouldn't like them to do. That is what I needed. HOpe this explains. thanks

Answer 1

Well, if you are giving them a well rounded teaching of the scriptures, "but" isn't necessary. Sex outside of marriage is a sin - so is rape, but to the rapist, not the victim. God also hates violence. Admittedly this can be hard to explain to a 5 year old. However, if a child is being abused in either arena, they need to talk to another adult. If that adult is too close to the situation and won't listen, then they need to talk to another adult or teacher. I have a 5 year old - and I try to tell her in simple terms that no one is to touch her under her clothes or cause her to have bruises. If anything like that were to occur, she is to talk to either me or her father.
There's a scripture that says you are to obey God rather than men. So if a parent (or an adult, period) is going against God's laws in these regards, the child needs to find someone who will listen to them and tell on that adult.
So when siting the scripture to honor your father and mother, you can add the scripture that says to obey God rather than men - that way the child sees God as the supreme authority that both they and their parents, along with all adults, have to obey. From a Christian point of view, anyway.

Answer 2

Child abuse has been around forever, it's just that the awareness of it and the movement against it is a modern idea.
I suppose a modern look at that commandment would be to look at the modern family. Many "parents" consist of biological parents, step-parents, grandparents, other family member, friends of the parents, significant others of the parents, etc.
Now focus on telling the children to respect the adults in their lives where respect is due. This does not mean to turn the love off if they are made to clean up their messes or to go to bed when they don't want to. However, if they are made to feel unsafe or less than human, they should be encouraged to talk to the other adults in their lives about the problem. This is respecting the offending adult in the sense that they need help being the good adult and the child is respectfully asking the other adults to help them to be good adults.

Answer 3

I'm not sure how well 5 year olds can grasp the concept, but you could try explaining to them that you can still show honor toward your parents for their position as such, while realizing that you must be separated from them if they are abusing you.

Most abuse victims find themselves in a very sticky situation, for they dichotomously love & hate their parents. A lot of them split their parents into two personalities in their own minds, so there is a "good daddy" & a "bad daddy" & he changes from one to the other based on what he's doing. A lot of therapy in recovery from childhood abuse focuses on trying to understand the concept that you can still love a person who has done horrible things to you.

Again, I'm not sure how well this would be absorbed by 5 year olds, but it's certainly something to think about.

Answer 4

Well I'm not Christian, but here's what I would say, to Honor the Father and Mother is to honor The God and the Goddess. Hope that helps you. I do agree that abuse is a bad thing, and that ones parents should be honored, would it help to tell these kids why they should honor their parents? One should not honor the abuse but honor the fact they they loved each other enough to have a child in the first place.

Answer 5

Teaching kids to honor their parents is hard, especially if their parents do not live out their faith... or if their parents do not respect their kids, or if they themselves do not earn respect.

We work with teens and trying to teach them the concept of honor is tough. We try to explain it as doing things that would not bring dishonor to their parents. sometimes, things we do are not things our parents 'like' persay.. but honoring means not bringing dishonor to them....but above all, if they listen to God, He will guide them how to live and behave and love their parents, even if it is thru faults or unlovable moments.

it is hard to teach when we are limited alot of the time by not knowing if the parents are saved believers or don't believe at all... and as for being 'politically correct'.. that is a whole other topic!

God bless you while you train these young minds.. praying for wisdom and strength and peace that God will give you exact words that these little children will absorb and understand

Answer 6

This bothered me for a long time as well as I was abused and had a problem with this scripture as an adult. As I prayed about this, the Lord reminded me not to be legalistic and to always follow the Holy Spirit. In other words, I honor their position as my parents but they are not always right as parents and I do not hold them in high esteem in my life. (Although I have forgiven them..they have never apologized).

Answer 7

this has nothing to do with religion - you should teach them what abuse is and why it is wrong, and inform them that as a teacher if they feel they want to discus anything on this matter then they should be able to come to you.
you should never teach something just because someone tells you to. if you have to teach religion. then at the end of the lesson ask the children if there are any situations where children might not follow these 'Rules'

Answer 8

If you,re teaching commandments i assume you are teaching a bible class and not in public school.i teach in my church and the children in my classes all belong to adult members of the church.maybe your church is larger and you have children outside of members.
I feel that my job as bible teacher is to teach the word as God laid it out.and i would be very carfull about (updating) the word of God.I understand your concern esp.if you have children from outside who may be experiancing such abuse.(maybe even among members.but most children going to public school are talked to about abuse. so i reccomend not bringing it up during class.
im not saying turn a blind eye .if you suspect abuse you are obligated to do somthing.if among church members then they should be corrected and supported in making change.the word says ."Have you aught against your brother go to them." if they dont hear or wont hear then you approach them with others of the church.outside church you go through the reg. channels to report it.
also what are your beliefs about a parents duty to correct a child? how do they compare to the word? are you in conflict with it?><>><>

Answer 9

I have so many buts ifs hows and what abouts for that rule.
I'd put it like this, if your parents are makeing you do sin, go underneath the arms of God, and do not listen to them. If there harming a child, like hitting or kicking, then I would think, sicne most Children fear to report them, they shouldn't have respect for someone whom treats them badly.

Answer 10

Just like the bible, you can't alter the scriptures. It says to honor thy mother and thy father. There were no stipulations to that. We don't get to choose our parents and unfortunately some of us succumb to abuse by their hands. We are not to question just as we are not to question GOD. Simply teach the children as we were taught and pray for them for a happy and healthy life. The only thing we can do is try to show good examples and do our best to teach the word of GOD. Thank you and may GOD bless.