when me and my bloke first got together me and his mum got on really well, till we moved in together. given he was 27 when he moved out and his mum had done everythin for him..foreva. then she started txtin him sayin come home if u dont like living away, she gives him money at the drop of a hat and completley slags me off all the time, i have tried with her but it has gotten me no-where i want us to get along for my blokes sake but she is viscious and makes things up about me just to wind my bloke up, at first i got on with his dad too but now he doesnt speak to me either. i know i have done nothin wrong yet she still is nasty... do i bother to try nd talk to her???
2007-03-06 02:23:27 · 11 answers · asked by binxyuk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OMG - this is exactly what happened between me and my boyfriends mother - we got on great until me and my bf moved in together (we are both 26) and then I got constant snidey comments and her going about telling everybody that I was pregnant (why else would her precious son leave her for me). I tried to talking to her and invited her round to talk just me and her and she wasnt interested.
She started shouting abuse at me one day in the middle of the town centre where we live and was straight on to the phone to tell my bf that I was a nasty b*tch who was only with him for his money (he's on minimum wage). She has started to even talk to my boyfriends ex about us (funny considering that when we did get on this girl was trouble who wanted to trap her son)
You should try talking to her firmly and reassure her that you are not going to treat her boy badly and that you love him.
Unfortunately, most of the time there is no reasoning with these kinds of women that devote their entire lives to 'their boys' and think they have to compete with every woman they talk to. Just remember that you have a complete life and hers is that empty she has got to try to get her son back!!!
What they dont realise is that if you split up with your boyfriend tommorrow because of her - imagine how heart broken he would be, so they dont even do it for their sons they are doing it because they are sad old bags.
2007-03-06 02:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its tough but you have to be polite keep being nice when you are there and basically put up with the abuse. Try and limit the time you spend with his family and then they will have nothing left to moan about you. Eventually your boyfriend will see that his mum is making it up and she will stop doing this because you are not getting angry or being rude. In the meantime if she says something to wind your boyfriend up just roll your eyes and say what I have supposedly done now?
If these steps don't work after a long time try the direct approach.
What is your problem?
Do you want your son to be single for the rest of his life and miserable?
You just think you're son is lucky enough to have found a woman who really loves him because no other girlfriend would put up with this b*llsh*t.
Good luck from a fellow Victim.
2007-03-06 11:40:58 · answer #2 · answered by Jo H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a "mother in law" and cannot understand anyone acting this way, I was pleased when my son met someone who he loved and who loved him back, now they have a gorgeous little girl who I love dearly. If i acted the way you say your mother in law is acting I would have lost my son as he would not have stood for it. Your fellow should not listen to her slagging you off or trying to stir up trouble is he a man or a mouse. If he has chosen you to share his life with he should have been prepared for the trouble his mother was going to cause and been ready to deal with it. Good luck to you hope it all works out ok for you.
2007-03-06 11:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that that is her "baby", she is jealous of you in all actuality, although she will never admit it. You have to show her that you can take care of her son, that you are a good woman. It may take some *** kissing but it is worth it in the end. As your father in law, he is just standing by his wife ;)
It look me and my mother in law a long time to see eye to eye. She always looked at me as "the girl who took her baby away". It took some time, one on one time with her and I, and her coming to stay with us for a week to see that I really did love her son and was a good woman. I am glad it happened the way it did (with the ups and downs) because it made us have a stronger relationship. (she passed last summer).
Talk to your husband and let him know that it does matter to you that she likes you. Ask him to stand by you no matter what and perhaps talk to her a little about how you are feeling. Take her out, just the two of you sometime,
Older woman (especially mothers) can be very set in their ways and opinions. It really is up to you to change her mind about you.
Good Luck and hang in there..its worth it!
~m
2007-03-06 10:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen Honey,
same problem with me and my mother in law we were married three years and had a daughter before she decided to accept that she was not going to break us up.....I waited and was whiter than white, all the time wanting to throw a bucket of water over her, then one day she went to far.....the funeral director turned up to arrange my funeral, at that point my husband saw it for what it was a jealous old women trying to manipulate her son...we did not speak to her for ten years, we now have been married for 29 years and have four wonderful Kids I know its hard but please do not give her what she wants.....if you need too in front of everyone ....so she can not deny it..... ask her why? it may embarrass her into silence......
2007-03-06 10:32:38 · answer #5 · answered by sylvie c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a difficult one, you have taken away her little boy (yeah i know he's a grown man, but in mums eyes we are always little boys) and she may never forgive you. Be as pleasant as you can to her but don't let her walk all over you. Enlist your blokes support but don't ask him to take sides.
2007-03-06 10:30:48 · answer #6 · answered by Bob N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum was exactly the same with my brother when he got a girlfriend, he lives at home, and is 28. She was so horrible to my brother's girlfriend, wouldn't let her stay over at the house or anything, and when he stayed at hers, demanded he came home at all hours until eventually she dumped him. I wouldn't bother with your M-I-L to be honest, if you know you haven't done anything and she is being petty then she has the problem, it is up to her....
2007-03-06 10:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by Little Bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt worry about your mother-in-law. She is just a bitter old woman who is scared of losing her son to you and doesnt know how to deal with it.....just concentrate on your relationship with your b/f and once she sees that she is not succeeding in breaking you up, she will come around...........believe me ive been there, done that, bought a t-shirt good luck
2007-03-06 11:05:13 · answer #8 · answered by friendlyeasterbunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight in front of you boyfriend he cant hold on to his mums apron strings all his life, tell her your not having it and you want to be treated with respect you deserve also talk to your man about it if he doesn't stick up for you then tell him to bolt too.
2007-03-06 10:50:28 · answer #9 · answered by suzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your man really loves you he will listen and understand the problem and support you. If not, he will always be mummy's boy. I had the same thing with my ex-husband.
2007-03-06 11:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by WUSIWUG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋