What should I say to my 5 year old nephew who keeps commenting about my weight?

Question

My sister-in-law and brother are naturally thin. When I'm alone with their son, he starts making comments about my weight. I'm a little over weight, but I'm not extremely fat. I'm also not as thin as his parents. He's only 5 years old, so at first I laughed his comments off as a joke. But, now he's doing it every time I'm with him. I want him to know that he shouldn't be saying things about people. I'm afraid he thinks it's okay and he's going to say things to someone else who is over weight. During our last conversation, he said things like: "Your arms are so big. Why do you eat so much? You're cheeks are sooo puffy. Are you going to blow up into a hippo?" Humorous but humiliating. How do I respond to this? I know I could talk to his mother about this, but I want to address it when it's happening. What do I say to him?

Answer 1

OK you should bring it up to his parents, so they can tackle it to.Just tell him that your feelings are getting hurt and that it makes you upset that he talks to you that way. Also you can explain that everyone is built different and that if everyone was built the same the world would be boring cause everyone would look the same. When his parents come back tell them what you said and that should get their attention. My three year old use to do the same thing and I had to sit down with him and have that talk. He doesn't mean it to be mean he just is trying t figure out why people are different

Answer 2

Unfortunately he's maybe reflecting what his parents say when you are not there! I would speak to him each time. Don't get excited - but do answer his questions, explain that people come in different shapes and sizes. And, that that's okay! Let him know that some times people's feelings can be hurt when they are called names are told they eat too much etc.

The fact is, he's not your child. It's up to his parents to teach him socially appropriate behavior. Also, he is five years old - you don't want to make him feel he's doing something terrible if his comments are born from simple curiosity. While his comments may make you uncomfortable, it's likely he has no idea the impact of the words. Remember that too.

Answer 3

Well, I think it's unusual for a child of 5 to be that aware of your weight and to actually make "negetive type" comments...are you sure he's not hearing your brother and sister-in-law say things? I think he's repeating things he's heard.

Other then that, I would say to him "it's not nice to talk about people. Everybody is different, some people are tall some are short, some are skinny some are fat. People come in all shapes and colors and that's what makes the world a wonderful place."

Answer 4

I would talk to the child about it frankly.. he thinks it is funny because you laughed at it once... so he keeps repeating it..I would talk to the child and tell him that people come in all sizes and colors... does he know a lot of pople who are a different race than he is.. maybe someone he knows is really tall or short... just point out that all people are diffrent... the other issue is a little deeper "why do you eat so much... hippo" these aren't just someone who isn't used to someone who is different... somewhere someone around this child is being teased for being over weight.. maybe a class mate he is learning thoes things from somewhere.. teach him acceptance and talk to his parents about it too

Answer 5

Kids can be brutal. At that age he hasn't a clue what it means to be self-conscious...or what we as adults feel about our shortcomings.

Look him in the eye and tell him that all people come in different shapes, sizes and colors. Then discuss some examples: is his hair blonde, and yours brown? What about his eyes? Do you have a freckle on your arm and he on his nose? Things like this. Don't focus too much on how his comments have hurt your feelings.

If this doesn't work/he's kind of a brat, he knows he's gotten to you and will continue. Do not respond in any way. Or you can speak to his parents. Where is he learning this stuff?

Answer 6

You really need to talk to him. I have a sister and she has an eating disorder and she always makes comments about her husbands weight and now my 6 year old nephew says fat all the time. Every time he does I scold him and tell him that fat is a bad word and never to call anyone that. He even knows what a calorie is...how aweful

Answer 7

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Answer 8

It sounds as though the little monster knows exactly what he's doing. And he knows it isn't ok.
It sounds completely childish, but is there a personal comment you could make about him? Then when he gets upset, explain calmly and quietly that this is how he makes other people feel. He's more than capable of understanding.

Answer 9

im sure this behavior is a result of something or someone he's heard around him. if i were u i would correct him (in front of his parents or not) when he makes these remarks, cuz obviously they may condone this. dont laugh it off because ur giving him power to use it. explain to him that ppl come in all shpaes, colors & sizes so he needs to accept it. plus he's already 5, he knows pretty much wht he says. good luck!

Answer 10

I think he's repeating things he's heard, possibly from home.
"It hurts my feelings when you say that. Does mommy know you talk like this? What if I said you were an ugly, rude little boy, would you think that's okay? Or if I said your parents look like they're getting sick, would that be okay to say out loud? Some things are better to think inside your mind, and not good to say out loud."
Then, definately tell mom, she's his handler.