Being a full time dad and mom while seperated???

Question

Can you be a full time dad even though the father and mother are in different relationships????

My bfs ex-gf recently gave birth to a child in december, she also only told my bf about the child in dec. Well he and I have been 2gether for 11 months now and the mother wants him to be around much much more often, be able to take her places she needs to be, and babysit the child when one or the other can't.

They also live 45 min apart. The mother wants him to be a "full time" dad

How does this work has anyone ever known this? It sounds to me like she just wants my bf around and back with her...suggestions, comments, solutions even?...

Answer 1

she may very well want him back,first off he needs a DNA test to make sure that he is the daddy.Then he does need to be a part of the baby's life but not hers,he does not need to take her any where that's up to her to worry about not him.The baby sitting is fine he should be in the baby's life and have visitation if it's his,but there is such a thing as joint custody,but there is no way to be a full time dad and not live in the home with the mother and child,especially since they live so far apart,if they were closer together then they might make it work out but we are talking about no more than 15-20 mins apart at the most plus they would have to work diff. shifts to make sure the other is available at all times.the standard rule with courts are either joint custody where the mother has the child 1 week then the father has the child the next,but most courts will not even consider this until the child is 2,so the only other thing is visitation,where he would see the child a set number of days during the week and then every other week end he would pick the baby up on friday and return the baby on sunday,but i also think that for over night visitation the child has to be a little older unless the 2 parents agree on a parenting plain and then have in entered into the court records and signed by a judge so as to protect them self's.hope this helps out some good luck and best wishes

Answer 2

Having a baby is hard work. I suppose she feels that as the child is his responsibility, he should put in half the work. I can't say i blame her. I wouldn't want to be a single mother with a new baby again (my husband walked out when my son was 4 months old.)
I suppose the solution is a question. What does your boyfriend want?
I have a friend who lives in the next street from her ex-husband. Although they cordially loathe each other, they are always there for the children. It's quite impressive. What a pity they couldn't work out their relationship so easily when they were married!

Answer 3

well it's just like with any couple that gets a divorce. my father was still a full time dad when i lived with my mother when i was little. every weekend was ours andhe would call to check up on us kids and take me to doctor appt when my mother couldn't and bring me fun places and everything like that. once you're a dad you're a full time dad you can't just be a part time dad. if you're gonna slack you mind as well do nothing. There is nothing you can do he has a kid now and it's his responsibility, try to be good to the child too and give him love so he likes spending time with you
PS don't feel that you Should be included in the trips because it's his kid not yours and you're not really his wife yet or anything, he should eb able to spend some alone time with his child
OH AND SUNSHINE THERE IS NO SET AGE ON EVERNIGHT VISITS WITH THE CHILD. mY LITTLE SISTER WAS LESS THAN TWO AND WE STAYED WITH MY FATHER EVERY WEEKEND PER COURT ORDER. THERE IS NO AGE REQUIREMENT I DO'T KNWO WHERE YOU GOT THAT FROM. THE FATHER HAS RIGHTS TO VISIT AND TAKE THE CHILD AT ANY AGE

Answer 4

a million) What replaced into your colour scheme? None. The maid of honor wore a flowered gown. 2) What music did you walk down the aisle to? Roberta Flak's the 1st Time Ever I observed Your Face. My terrific chum sang it. She has a appealing voice. 3) What music did you walk backpedal the aisle to jointly with your husband/spouse to? We did not 4) What replaced into your 'first dance as husband/spouse' music? i don't undergo in suggestions. lol. this is been two decades. 5) in case you danced jointly with your mom/dad, what music? See above. 6) have been your babies on your wedding ceremony? I had my little ones whilst we've been given married. 7) What colour replaced into your wedding ceremony gown? pearl - like a comfortable white. 8) what style of cake did you have? That I undergo in suggestions. It replaced right into a carrot cake. 3 stages and somewhat sturdy. 9) What time did you depart your reception? approximately 6pm. Our wedding ceremony replaced into at 1pm. 10) Did you have an open bar at your reception? No - beer, wine and poo 11) What replaced into the better component of your wedding ceremony day? the marriage 12) The worst?No failures. 13) Any regrets? something you will possibly've choose to have replaced/finished in yet differently/not finished in any respect? not somewhat 14) the place did you flow to to your honeymoon?Tahiti. It replaced into astonishing. some day i choose to flow back.

Answer 5

yeah i would be careful in this situation. It does sound like she wants him back but then again she may just want him to be in the child's life. Maybe you can go along to visit with the baby or let your boyfriend pick up the baby and take him to your house so you can both take care of the baby together.

Answer 6

I think he has a financial obligation and also to visit periodically, but anything more than that he wants to do, he should include you in these trips, so everyone knows where they stand

Answer 7

Move closer. He needs to be a full time dad. He needs to pay support, and be there for his child.


Atleast she is trying to involve him..... My ex has nothing to do with our kids, doesnt come see them or pay support.

Answer 8

i think he should take care of it half of the time and her the other.oo yeah and split teh weekends