i do not enjoy my life at all i am with him 24/7, i would have left him but now we have found out his dad has cancer and i dont know what to do help!!!
2007-03-06 00:32:11 · 17 answers · asked by DAWN T 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
There will always be a reason, right now it's cancer, next it will be something else. If you're miserable and don't love him, you need to leave. You're not doing either one of you a favor by staying. My ex husband wouldn't let me talk to any of my friends or family. It was all about HIM. Notice I said EX husband? I've been blessed with a wonderful man now for 18 years. I never would have found this happiness if I had stayed with the other one who made me miserable. Live your life for yourself, you've only got one shot at it.
2007-03-06 00:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by Deb C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm another OCD sufferer, but i'm not sure how OCD would effect your relationship to the extent to where u have to be with him 24/7. to me it sounds as though he has insecurity issues and also is very controlling, but i'm just going on what u've told us. whatever the cause of this behaviour, it is obvious that he needs professional help. as for not wanting to leave him due to his father having cancer, well, that's a difficult one. i do feel sorry for your husband, but if u stay with him every time there's a crisis, u could be still putting up with this in 10 years time, or even longer !!! i'm afraid that i would still recommend that u leave him. offer your support as a friend, but make it totally clear that your marriage is over. it is possible to stay friends with ex's.... infact my best friend is a guy who i dated for seven years, and i lived with him for 2 of those years... try to get things sorted in your head about where u are going to live, etc, etc, start making those plans a reality, and when u have some of those things in place, break the news to your husband... depending on just how controlling & emotional he is, u may want to inform a family member or friend that u will be breaking the news to him on that particular day, just incase u need some help. good luck. i hope it all turns out well.
2007-03-06 08:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dawn,
I suffer from OCD.
First, does you husband have a proper diagnosis of OCD from a professional mental health expert? Or are you presuming it's OCD? If the former, is he on medication or in behavioural therapy? The behavioural therapy for OCD is called Exposure and REsponse Therapy (E&RP) You can get a referral to a behavioural therapist near you through the OCD Foundation at http://www.ocfoundation.org
-- Liam
2007-03-06 08:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by almcneilcan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, seriously, whether your husband has OCD or not, that sort of behavior is indicative of Domestic Violence and is all about power and control. Please see a therapist who can help you find ways to cope without putting you in danger. Often when you become more assertive and begin to set limits on what you will tolerate, it can increase the risk of violence even when there is no history of it. Pathological jealousy and attempts to isolate you from family and friends and make you more dependent are controlling behaviors and classic signs of Domestic Violence which often never even reaches the level of physical abuse. Please seek counseling for yourself asap!
Please also know if you do make plans to leave at some point that leaving is the time when there is greatest risk for violence to occur. Please be careful and work on developing a safety plan before you do, if you decide to leave.
2007-03-06 08:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by Opester 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to your husband about the way you feel and possible ways to make things better such as him getting help for his problems?
You need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel and if you want to try and make it work then you need to try and get him to understand about how you feel and what he can do to help. If he doesn't want to try and help the matter then maybe you should take a break and tell him exactly why you are.
You shouldn't stay with him for other reasons other than your relationship together. If your scared of approaching him and he is threatening in any way then it might be best to go to contact a womens refuge to ask advice and possibly get help. You might be able to move out and tell him why you have after you've moved out, then if he wants to get help and work towards mending the relationship you can take it from there.
2007-03-06 08:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by jarf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you wiling for him to control you. There will allways be a good reason not to take action. His father having cancer is no reason at all foryou not to leave if that is what you want to do. And by the way, he didn't make you lose all your friends, you allowed that to happen. Take responsibility for your own life - you cannot blame your partner.
2007-03-06 09:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by LillyB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will always be a reason for not going, the dads funeral, grief blah blah, get out asap for you then offer support as a friend only. Gradually withdraw slowly, leaving him to cope alone.
2007-03-06 08:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by babyshambles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be with him because you feel sorry. Talk to him and tell him that unless he gets help with his ocd then you are leaving him. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. This is if you still love him, otherwise you are wasting your like living with someone that you dont love. Its never too late to start your life again .........
2007-03-06 08:42:33 · answer #8 · answered by bambola1uk 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its not entirely his fault that he is like he is. Yes things mayb not be nice for you. I have just broke up with my x (about 2months) and we both had mental health problems. Have you tried understanding him? just ignoring a lot of it, going out more?
I suppose even more importantly, why did u get with him in the first place? Is there nothing left any more?
Oviously dont stay with him if you really dont love him any more. Just take the step of leaving and get on with it, dont drag it out! I dragged it out for months and it did nothing for me but give me more heart ache!
2007-03-06 09:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is causing you to lose your friends on purpose, so he can control you more. He wants you to have no one to turn to, get out now before the abuse becomes physical. Or are you going to wait until children get thrown into this mess.
2007-03-06 08:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋