why do guys leave after sex?

Question

i had a relationship with a guy for 4 months,i was really inluv with him and we got on very well,after some time we got intimate and he just started acting strange and avoiding me.what went wrong?

Answer 1

could be lots of things...if you sleep with a bloke straight away they tend not to respect you as much..if he changed as soon as you slept with him the first time then sorry to say he just used you : (
If he thought the relationship was moving to fast, & you saying that you loved him then that could of scared him away..thats if you were being to full on.

He might have found someone else..ask him??
This is a learning curve for you!

Answer 2

I can't speak for all men here and I do not pretend to be an expert on the subject. But generally I've watched several men pursue women for one initial goal, intercourse. Once that initial goal is met then to try and "save face" with everyone associated with the couple they tend to act strange and avoid the female. This causes a massive amount of confusion and generally tends to deteriorate the relationship without them suffering the classic labeling as a "dog" in the couples small society. Essentially they come out on top simply because the female in her confusion of the situation tends break off the relationship after a lot of pain and frustration. This can also be caused by a decreased sexual desire after initial intercourse. No disrespect to the female but guys can be "picky" as well and generally don't have the "guts" to confront a woman if they think she is below par. Though as a guy I tend to love for more than any sexual experience. But this is our society today and I don't expect it to change anytime soon. Sorry for your loss but as they say there are a million fish in the sea. Keep looking. The one you'll end up with might be right under your nose.

Answer 3

You were a conquest not a quest. Don't think for a minute that it is your fault or what is being said about being bad in the sack is true because if he truly liked you then that part could be worked on by pure communication. Only if he didn't care would he leave for that reason. This guy had you fooled or you get to emotionally involved two quick and he just was not you need to be more guarded and seek that commitment before you fall in love or have sex with someone or it will happen again and again.

Answer 4

Firstly, it's not just guys who do that as I, as a woman, have also done that once. The guy I did it to has never forgiven me for it either.... although I am sure that he has done it many a time and probably done worse.

But guys are notorious for doing things like this. On the whole they tend to shy away from intimacy and when a girl gets too close/clingy they run off back to their caves.

Guys also view sex and things in general differently from women. They tend to be more logical than us. We are more emotional and see sex as an emotional connection whereas they dont.

He probably just wanted a bit of fun and got scared when you got too close.

He may even feel a bit insecure.... if he aint very sexually experience he made you to tell him how great he is in bed.... boys are a bit needy like that but dont show or say how they feel.

Try talking to him but dont harrass him if he ignores you or needs space give it to him.

In my experience boys always come running back in the end.... give him space and he'll be back. If not, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Angie,

do not worry too much: We man are strange creatures, if we feel that we are really falling for someone, we immediately start reflecting about our "freedom" and need to pull back for some personal space ---- temporarily.

Usually, this is a positive sign, as it indicated that we are serious about the relationship.

I know this sounds weird -it is and we can't understand it ourselves- but it's true and surely no B.S.

If I were you I would simply tell him that I felt upset because he is avoiding me, and that if needs some space it's a mature reaction to talk about it, so why don't we find out what we expect mutually?

I am sure this prompts some sort of reaction and clarification.

Answer 6

Ask him!
Different blokes act in different ways.
Maybe the thrill of the chase was enough for him. Once over, start again. Cruel and unfair I know. But us blokes are known for that. It's only when we get older, that we generally see the harm in what we do.
Ask him, more for your peace of mind than anything else. Then move on, he's probably not worth it anyway.

Answer 7

There are a lot of "could be" reasons. He got what he wanted, he's not that just into you, you gave in too soon..blah, blah...

Whatever it is, he's not going to talk to you about it anymore. You say he's avoiding you? I know it'll be hard coz there will be a lot of unanswered questions, just get over it and move on!

He's not the one for you. So show him it's over. It hurts for sure, because you loved him so much. But, why cry over spilled milk? Charge it to experience and don't regret for giving it up for him too easily. You did it for love. So you had your share, get up and move on.

Answer 8

With some guys it is like clocking out after a days work at a job. They are there for only one thing. I am a guy so I know. (Im not like that by the way)

Answer 9

we came we saw we conquered..

most of the time after sex a man can be a little hard and unfeeling toward a women..or girlfriend..its just the little death they go through...it takes the stud out of us.

we guys like to get the heck out of a clingy women's arms and either go to sleep or rush off to brag to our mates that they just scored...also maybe some guys just feel revolted looking at the women as they really don't have any feelings for them except lust and by that time it is gone gone gone..
that's what hookers are for...wham bamm thank you ma am

Answer 10

Sometimes it`s just the conquering of sex the guy wants , then he moves on to the next prey so to speak. Maybe he found someone he likes better or is more attractive.