i have 2 boys and they fight alot, especially when i take them to school. The younger on pulls the other about and the older just responds to it by hitting back and pushing him. Its so frustrating I dont want to spend all my time with them shouting at them. Should I tell them to stop fighting or just turn a blind eye and let them get on with it?
2007-03-05 22:56:17 · 20 answers · asked by jessie 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's not unusual, I'm 3.5yrs older than my brother and we'd fight constantly even with parent threats it didn't stop until we were much older.
I wouldn't say turn a blind eye as you don't know how far it will go.
2007-03-05 22:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have four boys, ages 8,6,6,4 and 24 weeks with number 5 :) First off its normal for this to go on. I am a stay at home mom and i see this EVERYDAY. When these boys do it, i strictly tell them if it doesnt stop, they are going to sit on their beds, and it usually stops right then and there. If it doesnt stop, i follow through on what i say and they spend 10 mins on their beds. If it happens again i just up the time even longer. This usually takes care of the problem. When you yell it just wears you out and doesnt solve anything except cause you more stress! So try to balance your mental reasoning. Keep your head in the game. Dont let them run you over. You are the parent and you need to respect yourself and in the end they will respect you. If you respected yourself you would allow ANYONE to treat you the way they do. Give them a project to do together, have them build something together. Play a game together. Theres all kinds of things you can do to build the bond between them. Its all normal though but the more you turn your head and try to ignore it, the worse its going to get. Goodluck!
2007-03-06 09:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use consequences, if the like video games or movies or something like that, tell them that if they get along they can do the things they like, and if they fight they can't for a certain period of time. It won't take it away completely, but should calm them down a tad. Yelling at them will only teach them to ignore your voice, haha.
Don't forget to let your yes mean yes and your no mean no,
so if they act up, go through with the punishment. Good day : )
2007-03-10 01:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by Mesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 boys and the fighting is constant! My advice is to split them up and distract them with what they like to do or get them to help you. My usual is "the next boy to fight is a rotten egg"! Works all the time. They don't respond to shouting.
2007-03-06 08:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by APK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids do this very same thing. You should definitely stop the fighting. Kids will fight with eachother all the time, so it's very normal to do, but they need to know that it's not the type of behavior to show in public places. If they are fighting at home, then let them try to resolve it by themselves. But if you are out at the store with them and they start to fight, they need to know that they will be punished for their behavior. At their age, sometimes all it takes is to embarrass them in public. Let them know that they are being rude to the other people in the store by their actions and they might be embarrassed by other people looking at them.
Sometimes I have to put my kids on time outs while we are at the store. They don't believe me when I tell them that they can still get time out in the store, so I did it one day. It was embarrassing, but they learned their lesson. I made them sit on the floor for about 5 minutes while other people were doing their shopping and looking at them as they passed by. My kids hated it and don't fight in the store anymore!
2007-03-06 07:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may as well learn to live with it. My two boys fought constantly until they were in their teens, when they suddenly became best friends, and remain so well into their twenties.
If its any consolation, my girls were just as bad - couldn't walk past each other in a door way without a swift kick, or punch - now they are inseperable. They have children of their own now, and I can't wait until they reach the fighting age - I shall get so much pleasure out of saying "serves you right!!"
2007-03-06 07:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by Queen of the Night 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my 2 boys are a year apart also and have been fighting sence 1-2 but this year they just stoped i asked why and they told me there to muture to fight each other any more they are 16-15 now
i never found anything that would get them to stop fighting other than making them sit in different rooms
good luck
2007-03-06 07:17:13 · answer #7 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid they will continue to fight for many years to come - unless your raising Rod and Todd Flanders - it just what young boys do, especially brothers...... I do think however that you should continue to tell them off for it, you have to let them know that it is not the correct way to act towards other people.
2007-03-06 07:01:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two daughters who are the same, it just wears you down. I tend to blame the oldest one although the youngest one provokes her, but the youngest one comes to me crying. My answer is I guess is we've got to stop them and not turn a blind eye, I'm sure it's attention seeking behaviour in front of mum.
2007-03-06 07:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That used to make me nuts when my kids were younger too. What worked for me was grounding them from each other. Find some way to keep them apart, don't talk to each other, etc. Pretty soon they're so bored with their own company that they missed each other. Of course, they'll eventually go back to bickering and socking each other, but it lessened. Hope you find something that works for you!
2007-03-06 11:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋