he's killing me emotionally, he says he love me on one hand, but wants to kick our two year old, me, my unborn child out, all because i got Pregant, ever since i told him i was pregnant, he says he cant handle it. In October last year, yes only 6months ago, i gave birth to our still born son at 26 weeks, & he wasnt even there for the delivery, was there for our first son oscar. he claims he cant cope with two kids!! but in febuary Bobby wouldve been here! Now i'm pregnant & he wants me to leave. I turned into an aclcholic when bobby died, he said he didnt want to be with a drunk, but never offered to help me stop, i was dying inside because i lost Bobby. I've been with him for almost 3 years in august. he doesnt seem to love our children. he also has another son Adam from a previou relationship,she wont let him come to our house coz she hates me, we've fighted so much about him seeing Adam in the old family home, its destroyed us. i want him to go to court to get visitations 4 adam.
2007-03-05 22:50:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What a mess. You said your boyfriend is killing you emotionally. He is angry you get pregnant and apparently don't use birth control yet he keeps having sex with you. Stop all sexual activity with him and straighten this all out. You are pregnant now and do not need stress. As for your drinking, every drink you take your baby takes with you and that is poison to you both. That baby's brain is developing and liquor kills brain cells.
Is there someone else like a female relative that loves you and can help you handle a home life until your baby is born? Try untangling the sex and baby problems now and stop drinking.
Have you ever considered more education for yourself? How about education or instruction to help you raise your children the best way? You deserve more education and to be free of a boyfriend that is "killing" you emotionally. Get free and stop making babies. Use condoms and birth control pills. You don't need more babies. Good luck.
2007-03-05 23:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am just going to jump right in and say I think the both of you need some counseling. There is something deeper lingering inside.
6 months ago your son was born still born. This has taken a toll on both of you. You definitely need to sit down with someone and be counseled. This can be very mental. You can not just deal with this you need some help.
Sometimes men have a hard time asking for help. The death of his son is killing him. He is having a hard time dealing with it. So he is acting out aggressively. He needs to get help soon before he hurts someone he loves. It will be unintentionally but it can happen.
I think it is best for you two to separate until you resolve this situation. This is very unhealthy for the children. They do not need to see or hear any of this.
Involve a professional. Now at first your boyfriend might be reluctant to participate. Just explain to him how important this is to you, the relationship and the kids. Do not give him a ultimatum like "stop fusing or I am leaving". This will just fuel his fire. Instead treat him like he was child dealing with something major. Take baby step to reach him. If you talk rationally and calmly he will eventually hear you and come around.
This will test your relationship. It will be tough. But if you truly love each other and want to be together it will work.
Also another thing do not let friends and family pressure his thoughts and actions. Peer and family pressure can influence him negatively. You grasp on to him and do not let go.
I PROMISE HE WILL COME BACK TO YOU AND HE WILL BE THE MAN YOU REMEMBERED.
Last but not least, after the death and anger counseling is done please seek alcohol counseling. You starting drinking to deal with the issues you were dealing with. This is not social drinking, it is problem drinking. You will thank yourself in the end.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-06 00:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by ANJANETTE C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
16 years ago my daughter was born still born at 27 weeks into the pregnancy. Like you I had a 2 year old son at the time of the birth. My partner was not committed to me fully and we separated. I felt that things couldn't get better and for a while just wanted to end everything. What I can tell you is that however hard it got the fact that I had a 2 year old son who relied on me and needed his mother got me through things. I thought I would never find love again...I did. With hindsight I know that the relationship I was in was wrong and that even had my daughter lived I would have still separated from this man. You need to leave this man, he does not love you. Concentrate on your son and yourself. My son is now almost 19 and a healthy loving individual. Had we stayed in that relationship I know he would have been affected by it. I now have a loving husband and you too get can through this. take your time
good luck
2007-03-05 23:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to help yourself for your children's sake. This man dose not love you or your children dose not respect you nor is he there for you when you need him the most. You need to leave him and seek some professional help to deal with the alcoholism and the death of your child. Think about the example you are setting for your children and what you would tell them if they were in your place. Your focus should be on your children and you not on a man... even if he is there father he dose not come first and is not the be all end all in your life.
2007-03-05 23:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by debcat76135 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the trash in your life, it is causing a very bad smell. Tell your boyfriend he has to leave promptly or assign yourself to a life of pure hell and mental abuse for your children. I say live with who you will as an adult, if you want to live with an abuser its your own free will, but once you have brought innocent children into the picture it is your job to provide a safe and happy environent for the children and living with loosers you are being selfish. Get out of that. HOW CAN YOU LOVE THAT MAN??????
2007-03-06 00:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you poor girl.get out while you can,how heartless not to be there for you when you lost your child.Do you have any family you can turn to?try to leave off alcholo,as it dose damage to you,and your loved ones,demand to know the real reason for his behavior.Make a new start,with your life,you don't need a boyfriend who doesn't love you or your kids,your better off without him.talk to someone about the problem.hope everything works out for the better for you and your kids.
2007-03-06 01:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st am really sory and i know you will go through this it is only temporary bt now quit drinkin' first gal cause that no good sounds male you know and go for change by askin' forgiveness in case youhave done bad pray too encourage him to start all over again and work out things and also see some therapist abt relationships and family i wish well
2007-03-05 23:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by nukeville 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get the heck out of there - this guy is an abusive jerk, get some treatment for yourself and if you havent already STOP DRINKING!
2007-03-06 00:28:09 · answer #8 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave your boy friend. Its a nightmare! Live your own life
2007-03-06 00:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by Sabrina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him already and concentrate on you and your children. Your b/f is a loser.
2007-03-05 23:43:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋