Is my boyfriend being disrespectful?

Question

My boyfriend works with quite few women and gets on well with them.

Recently he's arranged to join one of them on a 3 day fundraising treck in June. He gives a couple of them lifts to work too.

I trust my boyfriend and I know these girls are just work friends (they have serious boyfriend) but I can't help but feel slightly uncomforatble with the whole thing.

I don't think he's feel comfortable if it was me going away with a bloke!

Is he being disrespectful or am I being stupid?

Answer 1

Don't worry. Everyone ends up getting a little uncomfortable and jealous of their significant other at some point. I have been guilty too.
Don't listen to the others, you are not stupid but being normal and a little cautious of others.

You don't have to worry unless they call him at 12-4 at night, or you can tell they have long conversations. Then you have to talk to him about it.

Your boyfriend seems like the trustworthy-type, and from what you say, he also seems to be protective of you as well. Isn't that great to hear?

If you continue to worry, then you probably are afraid of trust and commitment. Try building trust up more with him and also, doing little public displays of affection with him. It will show him that you are not afraid of anyone finding out.


Nothing is disrepectful, nothing is stupid, therefore, everything should be alright.

Answer 2

Its a fundraising trek, not an erotic getaway. They have serious boyfriends, and therefore as much to lose as you do. I think you are way off on this one.

Unless there is any more to this issue then you have said, I think you are reading things the wrong way - at the end of the day, if he DID want to cheat on you, he could do it in a way you'd most probably never know about.

I dont think its disrespect, he sounds like a decent bloke actually, doing charity work and giving friends lifts to work and all that. Some people are real assholes and yet you've netted a nice guy who is obviously caring and popular.... Is that the source of the problem perhaps?

Answer 3

He's not being disrespectful, he's just getting on with things and living his life. He sounds great actually.

I don't think you're being honest with yourself when you say you don't trust him - because you don't. You're not being fair on him, he's being very open with you about his work relationships/friendships with other women.

As for you going away with a bloke - try it and see. If your boyfriend has a problem with this, you could point out that he has gone places with his female colleagues, why shouldn't you do the same?

Relationships are about trust. Insecurity in a relationship can seriously corrode and erode it, so I suggest dealing with this properly, sitting him down and telling him you're uncomfortable and try to pinpoint why you're uncomfortable - it be because of something completely unrelated to him personally.

Answer 4

As time goes by and a relationship moves on, one of the few things that is common in any lasting relationship is trust. Find some trust and assume it mutual, or I'd have to say your relationship in the long term just wont work.

3 days is a long time ? Huh ? Compared to 20-30 years ? .... I think not. I am assuming you are serious about this bloke.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I think you need to speak to him about this matter and make him understand that your not 100% happy about it, and tell him straight.
He probably doesn't realise what he is doing (some men don't, sorry chaps), or how your feeling. As he probably just see's this woman as a friend nothing else. Its very easy to feel insecure but if you don't discuss it with him you will just feel more uncomfortable and could cause arguments.
Your right I doubt your B/F would like you going away with another chap, so sit down later and have a good heart to heart. He might invite you along!!!!

Answer 6

Its natural to feel like this about the person you love so much and who works in such surroundings. Its not that you are stupid but yes do try to trust your boyfriend more and also if you have something like this in your mind talk to him and take his help to make you feel better cos he is the only one who can give you the exact pic of what is going around. He will take your concern seriously and clarify it if he does respect you and if he is not at fault. Gud Luck!!

Answer 7

tricky one - whilst hes not being disrespectful - hes not having too much consideration or you either!! Why dont you suggest you go along on the fundraising trip as well? Its for a good cause and Im sure the more people inivolved the better....
xx

Answer 8

Whether you trust him or not, whether any thing is going on or not, you need to tell him that the situation has made you uncomfortable. Communication is a key in any relationship. Chances are nothing is happening. Being concerned about how your boyfriend respects you doesn't make you stupid (despite what others say), it means that you have self respect.

Answer 9

HI,
I feel thse kind of things your boyfriend is doing sound OK. Many people are ok with that sort of relationship. And can be happy with it. I am not one of those , be it insecureity, distrust or more of a wanting a closer and more committed bond with me instead of just anyone that my man may speak with , I couldn't be happy with that sort of fellow. I am more of the realist than a romantic ...and the fact is if he is spending personal time with other women, why? Is there no men in this fundraiser he could join with? Wouldn't it be just as gas saving to give his men co-workers a ride to work? It just doesent sit right with me and I would not care to be hooked up with a guy that seems to want to have other women than myself around. Why be in a committed relationship? All that running around with the opposite sex I feel is a great thing......if your single...maybe im old fashioned but thats my choice and no one elses. You have to decide if you want to put up with that kind of life. there really is no right or wrong here its more of a preference ...and me?? I want a man that thinks more of spending his time with me than he does other women ...call me old fashioned....thats ok for me. I hope you have a great and loving life no matter what you choose!

Peace

Answer 10

You know i learned one thing about men.....some of them really want to have female friends and have them actually. As hard for us to understand but its like you giving a lift to your guy friend to work or someplace else. We see nothing wrong with doing that just like they dont see nothing wrong with participating in work related things or giving them lifts. You just have to minitor his movements once in a while. Only if he come back from work late, get a lot of phone calls from one particular female all the time, or he is disappearing a lot without explanations is when you need to watch closely. Those signs maybe giveaway and not when he drive one of them to work.