How do I suppress hate that I have for certain people?

Question

There sometimes these angers that comes from another person's action that really last inside my memories for a long time. I usually have a very long lingering hate for that person.

Is there anyway for people to give my insight of why this happens, or how do I manage it effectively, or how do I prevent getting this strong emotion in the first place.

Answer 1

This happens usually when it is unresolved. Like the person who made you angry left a scar and never apologized or made up for it. You can manage it effectively by thinking that you've got better things to do than be angry or you can channel the anger you feel into a sport or hobby. Lastly, you can prevent this emotion from happening by making sure that you have a closure with this person. If possible, talk to him/her about what hurt you, get explanations and establish a relationship where they two of you at least respects each other. Better yet, probably the most difficult thing to do is to learn how to forgive. Good luck!

Answer 2

I know how you feel I do the same thing and it sucks. You are being trapped by your own emotions. The trick is to own your emotions, not let your emotions own you. Then you can truly be free because no one or anythihng owns your happiness but you. You are actually one step ahead. You are acknowledging the problem. Some people can't even do that. So the next step is to try and relieve the anger inside. If you can't resolve the issue with the person that pissed you off (and alot of times you can't) then you've got to find some other way to express that emotion in a healthy way. Punch a pillow, or go to the gym take up boxing and beat the hell out of a punching bag. Or climb to the top of a mountain or tall building and scream your head off. Or you can try writing that person a letter telling them exactly why and how they made you feel, but DO NOT give it to them. Just write it, read it over. THink about it and then let it go. Rip it into a million pieces really slowly while taking deep breaths. Or you can tie it to a balloon, hold it, think about the hurt and then let it go at the same time you let the balloon go. All of these things can help. Also, talking about it to a person you can trust can help, just to be heard and get it out of your head. But be careful with this one. You don't want to start a bunch of drama. And good luck!

Answer 3

Parents have kids in the hopes of raising up someone that is just like them. Especially women, a lot of times they want a little girl that they can dress up like a doll. Your mother sounds like such a women, you are her doll, and she doesn't like the way you have turned out. She thinks she is doing what is best for you, and is looking out for you. Obviously you don't feel she is helping, truth be told though, it wouldn't hurt for you to compromise, and dress nice now and then, and how you want every other day. When you attempt to get a job in the real world, dressing more "normal" will help you out. Doesn't mean you can't still dress how you see fit. If wearing a dress is absolutely out of the question, then I guess you just have to be rebellious. Communication is key to any relationship, and you have already stated that you tried pleading your case many times over, and your mother won't hear it. I am sure like I already stated, she thinks you are throwing your life away dressing like you do. It is her opinion, and if you can change that, you will be better off.

Answer 4

Just stop and try to think of one good point that person has and not dwell on the negative side. Everyone is not totally bad. U r not required to like someone, but to truly hate, just poisons ur thinking and overshadows everything in ur life Do u see some trait in him that reflexes ur own and not liking that about urself u dislike the same trait in the other person. Try to find the good in others and don`t dwell on the bad. Life is too short, don`t waste it hating. If at all possible stay clear of the ones u hate, don`t avail urself to them, replace hate with tolerance, u r not required to do more.

Answer 5

it would help if you could give a specific action that makes you angry. But I can help you. forget the karate and screaming into a pillow. i'll try to do this in a general way.

There is a relationship between:
Thoughts->Feelings->Behaviors.
Example:
say, someone is constantly singing a song that you hate.
the first thing that you notice is that you HATE that person. (Feeling) you are moved to anger so extreme that you want to kick his butt. ok. now, HATE is the Feeling, Kicking his butt is the Behavior, that you are trying to avoid because you know what the consequences will be if you do it. the trick is to examine the THOUGHTS that will ALWAYS PRECEDE THE FEELING! maybe you "Think" he's doing it simply to tick you off. you might "Think" "he's trying to push my buttons and its working".

Remember that Thoughts will always be there before Feelings. And Feelings are what lead to Behaviors.

Next, do a Reality Check of your THOUGHTS.
Is he really doing it just to tick you off? possibly, but unlikely. maybe he just really likes the song, or his way of doing whatever he does. or maybe he doesn't know he's bothering you. people aren't mind readers.

DISPUTE any unreasonable Thoughts:
it's egotistical and unrealistic to think that people go out of their way just to tick you off.

Then, only then, take assertive action:
Can you approach some one who is bothering you and reason with them? just say "Hey, that bothers me, would you kindly stop?" or "There's a better way to do this or that".

i Know that this is probabily difficult to do at first, especially if it is new to you. it was for me, in the beginning. but i guarantee, with practice, it will change your life as it did mine. yea. i had an anger problem too.

Answer 6

There is no way to suppress it. But there is a way to deal with it. I would talk it out with my pastor, rabbi, or any authority that you respect.

You are only eating yourself up inside. The person or people you hate couldn't care less. Why get an ulcer over them?? They are happily going their merry way.

This makes you hate them even more, as they don't give a damn about you. What about anger management. I know they have places like that.

Answer 7

hate cannot co-exist with love. So develop feelings of love and compassion for the person, and then hate cannot abide in you. One thing that may help, is to imagine that someone very very evil - like a cannibal/murderer is after the person you have feelings of hatred for. Then, you will likely feel sorry for the person you hate. You will feel that even this person does not deserve this kind of treatment. Then you will see that the person is not THAT bad. There is humanity in the person, and you would defend them if it came down to something that bad.

Also, have a sense of feeling sorry for the person for their bad traits. Remember that you too have bad traits and that in that sense, we are all in the same boat as human beings. Remember the person has a mother who loves him/her no matter what they do. And try to have that kind of love for the person - the kind of love that does not approve of the bad things the person is doing - but longs with all its heart that the person begin to do what is right in life. Really want that the person become good and worthy of good things.

Answer 8

Realize that if you hate someone strongly it means in some way you care for that person. Love and Hate are very strong feelings that are bunched in the same caring catagory. Show the people you say you hate that they cant bother you by not caring. Its easier that way.... less stressful too.

Answer 9

Quit watching TV and do some exercise. Also if your listening to radio talk shows turn them off. Get all mass media out of your life. Now meditate chiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg, stretch it out to the end of the universe.

Answer 10

I ignore those people. I don't aknowlege their existance at all. Just waiting for them to go away.