My husband married me when i was pregnant with another man's baby. He knew all about it and we were married later. My daughter was born and i gave her my maiden last name. But my husband wants me to give her our laswt name so we feel like a family. My baby's father hates the idea, and wants her name to stay the same... what do i do?
2007-03-05 19:05:05 · 12 answers · asked by Kaya808 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, let me praise your husband of his suggesting. The words from your daughter's father is only valid if he is in her life. If he is a once a while father who comes at his pleasure or he don't take any interest at all. It is clear to give the last name of your husband.
If he is man enough to take care of his daughter, his words do count. Oddly I am surprise he don't want it in his last name! In order to keep the peace keep it in your maiden name unless the father is not involve with his daughter. Don't worry you'll do the right thing!
God Bless
2007-03-05 19:28:26 · answer #1 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the real father of the baby have anything to do with the baby? Is he paying child support and does he have visitation rights? I have to say, your husband sounds like a great guy to marry you while you were pregnant with another mans baby. If the real father has no contact with the baby, and doesnt offer any financial support, then he really doesnt have any say so in what last name you give the baby. If you love your husband and he loves that baby like his own and is providing for all of you then maybe you need to think of that. Also as the child grows older and has a different last name, how are you going to explain that? Yes you should be honest and let it know the circumstances when it is old enough to understand. If you plan on staying with your husband til death do you part then maybe you should consider letting him adopt your baby. But if the father of the baby is not paying any child support, or anything financially then he has no right. If that is the case also, why do you care what he thinks? If he is paying and has visitation rights then no you shouldnt change its name. But if he isnt, he has no say and you should quit worrying about him and go on with your married life. Just make sure when the child is old enough to let it know the truth. And also remember, anyone can be a father, but it takes a certain special person to be a dad!
2007-03-06 06:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your baby's daddy is a good responsible father who plays a active role in his/her life then no way that's his kid not your husbands. I understand that your husband plays an active role in her life to but living with her and raising her is a bigger gift then a last name. However if the father is not a good active father then yes by all means your husband deserves that right. Sounds to me like your husband thinks ill of the father and has spent his life raising that kid so he believes he deserves it and if that is the case he is right however remember it is just a name.
2007-03-06 04:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others. The one RAISING your child is the Father. Give the child his last name.
Also, when your child is in school and for medical insurance you will be glad the child has the same last name. If the child's last name is different, you are for ever in the day getting new birth certificates to prove they are your child. Personally know someone in this very same situation!
Best Wishes!!!
2007-03-06 05:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by s7lmb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your husband dear...he is providing for you & your child & accepted her as his daughter .Will make her life a whole lot easier if you give her your husband's name & live as a family unit.Is the natural father supporting her in any way ? If not , what's his problem ?
2007-03-06 03:46:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anybody can be a DAD, but it takes something special to be a FATHER. there are so many men out there not willing to take responsibility for their own children and this man has taken on you and another mans baby, i think the least you could do is give your child the mans name who feeds her, clothes her, baths her and kisses her goodnight.
2007-03-06 06:59:34 · answer #6 · answered by princesspink1984 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the baby's father that this is none of his business. Use your husband's name.
Where on earth you find such a man who marries you even though he knows that you were pregnant with another man's baby... You better treasure your husband.
2007-03-06 03:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by aUDREy TTT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is the babies biological father fully involved in her life?i am going through the same situation and now i am with another man who has known from day one that my baby is not his.her biological father has had nothing to do with her through choice of his own.my partner has not only financially supported her,he has paid for all the maternity care as well.now my daughter carries my partners last name as well as mine.this will give my daughter a sense of belonging.
2007-03-06 03:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by blossom h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your baby your husband's last name. He's the one who picked up what your ex threw on the floor.
2007-03-06 07:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The REAL father is the guy who is raising your daughter. The other guy is a sperm donor. Go with your husband on this one.
2007-03-06 03:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by drbuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋