My story is a bit lengthy but here goes... My husband and I came back to the US and were living (quite wealthy) abroad. But we wanted our family to live here. We came last summer and he enlisted in the military. He has since been in training and I am pregnant again (in my 8th month) and staying with my father and step-mother. We are paying big money to live here and until this point I have managed all the housework and chores as well as my daughter. My husband has only 4 more weeks of training to complete and then we will soon have orders of where we will be stationed. But obviously now I am in a delicate condition and have to be here until delivery. So the situation is that my family is being emotionally abusive to me and they have been clear that they will not assist me with my daughter if I become more ill or on bed rest. I have been having pains and its quite hard to lift my daughter and to care for her myself now. I am so angry with them and I obviously can't move alone now! ?????
2007-03-05 18:51:31 · 6 answers · asked by Mom_of_two 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
So what exactly am I supposed to do? This has nothing to do with money but timing. I get so upset that I almost want to pack our things and move to a hotel but I have to think of my daughter. Also I don't think its a good idea to interrupt my husbands final training because we are still waiting on orders to move and its important that he is here for us after training. I feel stuck in this situation and hate my family for intentionally doing this. The only thing I know to do is stay here and avoid them and do whatever it takes to survive until my husband arrives, then move.
2007-03-05 18:56:36 · update #1
I cannot travel abroad now because I am too far along and also because I won't be able to come back traveling alone with two infants. Also it would be complicated to apply for papers in his absence and he needs me to be here to help him restation because he isn't familiar with this country and protocol for moving. Basically I am alone! I have no one else I can depend on now and I am in no position to travel. So it looks like we'll just have to suffer until he gets out and it won't do any good to upset and worry him as well as he shouldn't be distracted now because our future depends on it. Maybe someone in the military could be able to assist me locally and from my own home??
2007-03-05 19:08:39 · update #2
Right now contact the Family Services at the nearest base / post to you. Explain your situation to them and if there is any way they can help you these people will move mountains to get it done. They specialize in helping spouses deal with situations so military personnel can complete their mission / training.
2007-03-05 19:35:59 · answer #1 · answered by tnlongyrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word 'family' do not content with a mother or/and father, or brothers and sisters. A family can be anymore who are very supportive, caring, helpful, and mostly loving. Therefore, you are not subjected to rely on those who you think that should be supportive, but to look outside for the real family. The military is now your family. Request to reside on the military base and then seek some assistance from other military wives. You will built a new supportive family. If you can't live on the base, make an effort to seek their help!
If this is not a suitable solution, start containing yourself to the importance. First, limit your space at home to where it won't take too much care for. Let your dad and step-mom do the other chores whether they like or not! Second, if you can, seek a person to come in for about 3 hours a day to help you. Third, reach out to your relatives for help. Fourth, don't put faith in anyone, but God. He is the best family member to ever trust!
Also let your husband know what's going on, and request of his prayers as well, because I will keep you and your husband in my prayers tonight.
God Bless.
2007-03-06 03:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you poor thing....it doesn't sound like you have much support and it's hard to understand how a parent could treat their daughter like that! Do you have any other family or friends that could help you move out because I think it would be best for you and your daughter! Maybe there's someone else you could stay with until your husband comes back home! I hope everything works out well for you and get out of that awful situation! It's not healthy for you, your daughter or your unborn baby! If you can afford it...then go to a hotel. It's not fair to your daughter to have her in an abusive situation either! Take Care!
2007-03-06 02:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry your family is treating you so badly. That is awful. The only thing I can think of is to hang in there as best you can until your husband gets back or until you have the baby. You poor thing, you must be exhausted. Can you talk to your dad alone without the step-mother being around? After all, these are his own grandchildren. Since you are paying to live there, I don't know what their problem is, but it sure sounds as if it is the step-mother's problem. My very best to you. I am sorry I can't help you or think of anything else you can do.
2007-03-06 05:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doctor should have a list of visiting nurses and he should see to it the military chaplain of your faith is advosed of the condition if the doctor sees it as serious or critical--after training he can possibly come home on a deferred deployment--until you are doing better. Make sure all the contacts have official doctor certifications and explanations. Good luck
2007-03-06 06:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's obvious why your husband wanted to live abroad. Can you go to you parents home and have them look after you? Even if your child is born in another country you can apply to have made a US citizen -- it is a formality, if that is what your husband wishes.
2007-03-06 02:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋