Before you read this, I just want to warn you that the following might be a little disturbing.
I have love my second cousin for 8 years and even though he told 7 1/2 years ago that he doesn't love me as a girlfriend, I am still deeply in love with him. I just seems to not be able to get him out of my mind. There were so much memories between us. It is hard to get rid of those memories. I have tried a lot of methods to forget him, such as focusing on something else and not think about him, but of course, that was no success.
With his work, he doesn't come back to visit as often anymore. Oh by the way, I forgot to slip in that I found out that he has a girlfriend 4 years ago. But again, I am still in love with him. So even though I don't see him very often, like once or twice a year for the past two or three years, I am still in love with him. I know what you guys are thinking. Disgusting, in love with your cousin. I am sorry for the disturbance, but that is the plain truth. Help?
2007-03-05 18:37:47 · 13 answers · asked by K.L. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd call it obsession.
Perhaps a good therapist would help you get to the root of why you have difficulty with self control in this area. It sounds like you wish to have some self control, but haven't developed it yet.
Possibly some unmet need from the past, while growing up, that you've unconsciously assigned him to give you.
It can be so frustrating to deal with on your own, ones own thoughts sometimes.
Please consider professional help.
2007-03-05 18:50:50 · answer #1 · answered by Russell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sound stupid, but get a good hobby, join a book club, start a sport or workout program -- something like that. You need something that focuses on YOU and not something you might have shared with him. The memories and hurt feelings of being alone are going to take a long time to get over, but doing positive activities that increase your emotional and physical health will make the process so much easier. Learn to appreciate something nice about yourself every day For example, - "I have really soft, beautiful hair today." They sound minor, but little steps and thoughts change things. Do something for 21 days, and it will become habit. How many days - years have you thought of him and missed him every day? That's a long built in habit to break. Give yourself time and have confidence that something better is out there for you.
2007-03-06 02:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by casie_kitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok 1st of all thats not disgusting ... that is very heart touching
and 2nd of all don care for wht other ppl think about u ... they r just stupid enough not to understand ur teru love ok... ur love for him is very pure and i am sure tht some day he will understand how much u love him and jus let him know in the rite way....
just be cool and tell him how nuch u mean to him and all....
i am truely amazed about how much u have been loving him .. .. i really hope tht 1 day ur love will suceed...
i am really touched and if i was a guy i wouldnt miss u .....
HE IS TRULY MISSING OUT THE BEST GIRL HE COULD EVER HAVE... THATS FOR SURE
take care... dont worry too much...
2007-03-06 03:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know something,he's feeling awkward about your feelings for him thats why he refused early and he doesnt appear in your doorsteps.you have made a right decision about forgetting him.
listen life is full of tragedies,now the thing is that how you cope with it.it may make u stronger or weaker whatever u want to see yourself.
and cheer up coz there will be so many boys out there to love you.believe me someday u'll find the right one.
2007-03-06 02:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by god of war 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh..it is pretty tough to forget someone you really love.
love is love. whether you love your cousin or whoever.. it is not digusting..just widely not accepted thats all.
Love has no boundaries..
I suggest you create for yourself some goals and try hard to attain them. Probably that will make you think less of him and more of reaching those goals.
Have a aim in your life. Don't just waste it over someone who doesn't love you. It is just not worth it.
2007-03-06 02:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I also experience that when i was just eleven anyway.. i think that you should go somewhere else.. try to get job away from your hometown so that it would be easy for you to forget him.. If you really determined to forget him then go somewhere.. I believe that having crush to your cousin is forbidden because he's one of your relatives.. Is it from your father side or mother side because This is really forbidden.. My relatives are always scolding me because of this, but you cant control your feelings to him right.. just go somewhere else forget about him...
2007-03-06 02:51:44 · answer #6 · answered by rhean s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one else can convince you to move on. you have to decide it's time yourself.
i think youre maybe hanging on to him for fear of the next step, of being alone, of searching for someone to love and the possibility of not finding them. get over it. better to go out fighting and searching for happiness actively than waiting for your cousin to turn around and run into your arms. seriously now.
if you have mementos, time to put them away. if you give him special treatment, time to stop. if you call more than he does, time to switch it up. seperate yourself and then you can always reconnect with him later when you are in a better place about it.
2007-03-06 02:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heart wants what it wants, theres no controlling that.
but it would be highly frowned apon and is illagal..
so try dating other people and eventually you will fall in love with some one else and laugh about this later.
2007-03-06 02:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by LostMyMind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOSH!!!! How, in the world, did you develop feelings like this for your COUSIN!!?? Please explain...
I think there are some serious problems here. I'm really not trying to be ugly...but that is just not right!! And yes, it is VERY disgusting.
2007-03-06 02:44:47 · answer #9 · answered by tlcss06 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey he's your second cousin, it is legal to marry in most states.
2007-03-06 02:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by ric_ozz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋