I just found out that my dad's cheating on mum..but i'm only graduating in next year and can only take care of my mum then (if we choose to leave).. Everything is in my dad's name..even my mum's salary goes to my dad account.. is it better live with this secret til i graduate or better yet forever?
i need serious help =(
2007-03-05 18:33:12 · 11 answers · asked by miss_dutti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
on evidence: i only wish it was all a misunderstanding so it'll go away.. but it's not.. so trust me on this
I know my dad would get very defensive and he's not exactly the calm type..so that's not the best option..
2007-03-05 19:35:11 · update #1
I dont know how you found out but I would say let your dad know that you know. Be prepared to defend yourself b/c a cheating man gets really defensive. I wouldn't go to your mom however chances are she already knows and its not the first time. Tell your dad how it makes you feel and let him fix it. If he doesn't than that is his choice and you cant fix it for him or your mom. Go on with your life and take care of you and when or if you mom chooses to open her eyes and see what he is doing you can support her and help her get her affairs in order. You sound like a smart woman so keep your head up and let your parents deal with their marriage.
2007-03-05 18:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Priceless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that you would need to tell your Mom so she can start making some plans. The first thing she will probably do is make sure her paycheck goes into a different account.
There is a chance that your mother already knows this and is still thinking about what to do.
You don't say where you live, but in the U.S. there are different laws in each state about property. Who cares if it is all in your dad's name, your mother still has a right to half of it.
I am sorry your dad is acting like such a slime, but I do hope things turn out well for you and your mother.
2007-03-06 05:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Few things your mum has to do before confronting your dad. Because once they are not in good terms, it will be very hard situation on your mum. 1st thing is your mum has to stop let her salary into your dad acc. Any joint bank acc or property or insurance policy try to split them. Your mum can give your dad the reason of separate acc is to support your University course so that your dad is not suspicious of the next move. 2nd move is get the evidence of cheating. 3rd move your mum has to decide to continue this marriage in silence or file a divorce. So if your mum decide to continue this marriage, she can confront your dad in good talking terms on making this marriage works. Can even approach marriage counsellor for professional help. If your mum decide not to continue this marriage, she will have to file a divorce. Which in this case, she has the 'cheating' evidence and financially separate from your dad, she will have a better stand.
2007-03-06 03:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by ouch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not to mention your moms health could be endangered. You need to tell your mother and if she has a job there is not need for you to lay the responsibility of taking care of her solely on you. You need to tell her in a situation where your father is not involved and then you mother needs to immediately start setting up all her personals and financial separate from his before she even confronts him on the subject. It would take weeks for him to figure out she stopped her salary from going to his account. She needs to seek a lawyer and figure out what she can legally do to make sure her name is on everything. Why should you guys go he should go and you guys should stay and keep everything he is in the wrong not her and the courts will see it the same way. However you do need to prepare yourself for the fact that your mother might not leave him if she feels incapable of being on her own.
2007-03-06 03:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do you have any proof of it. If yes then you should first talk with your mom about this. As you said she is earning she would be able to take care of both of you, and as for salary is concerned she can open a new account in her name and tranfer the salary in that account.
If you find enough proof againts your dad you can take him to the court and ask for compensation.
But befor doing this you should also talk with your dad whats in his mind. It might be that its just your misconception and the whole thing might not be true at all.
All the Best
2007-03-06 02:46:50 · answer #5 · answered by meghna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should make sure for a FACT it is true. You don't need to worry everyone for a possible mistake. But if this is in fact true, then yes you should talk to your mom calmly about it, it may hurt. But it is for the better. Let her move on sooner rather than later. And also if it is true and she knew that you knew for awhile, I think it might disappoint her into thinking you were ok with it. But I would make proof of it, so it isn't hear say in court...it is hard to fight htose kind of battles.
So sorry, but good luck.
2007-03-06 02:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Twinboymom22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation but my advice to you is try to set it up so ur mom can find out on her own with some facts so she can plan on her future.If you tell her she's going to think of every excuse to not believe this es specially since they've been together so long it's going to be harder for her.Your mom needs to know but she'll need facts so she can plan on what she's doing before your dad gets mad and takes it all.Good luck.
2007-03-06 05:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by sinful_1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your feeling.It's really hurt.but you must realize that you can't keep this secret forever sooner or later this secret can be open.i think you don't need to be shy because of this.you must face it bravely.we must solve the problems not run from it.just believe in yourself and do what you think is the best for you and you mom.i hope with this little advice i can help you.^-^
2007-03-06 03:07:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not good either way. I was you when my parents split. Still don't no the truth. I was never spoken to about it. My husband was 16 when his parents split. They talked to him about it.
Probably better when you are older so that you can understand.
I have been married 22 years. I think we both work harder at our marriage because of what we went through.
2007-03-06 02:43:02 · answer #9 · answered by Lolipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom needs a lawyer versed in these issues---start to get good legal counciling
2007-03-06 06:10:50 · answer #10 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋