I just ruined a realationship by being clingy...?

Question

My boyfriend of 1yr and 9months just broke up with me because he said Im to clingy and too serious all the time. I really love him. We decided to remain friend because he know that he is the only person in my life (I have no family or friends, he is my best friend) I want to change so when we hang out he notices that I am changing but I dont know where to start. I'm generally a shy person so I dont make friends easily to start hanging out with new people. I dont have much of a sense of humor because I have a background of depression and I think when something is said it is serious (which he is always joking around and I'm always getting angry and taking it seriously) I really want him back and I want to make an effort to change. Please help me

Answer 1

you mentioned that you are shy, have a background of depression, do you think that could be the cause of you not interacting thus having no friends or emotionally available family members? having no one else means your boyfriend is your whole world therefore its only natural that you're clingy and emotionally reliant on him for everything, which will also make it harder for you to get over him and move on since he's all that you had and have now.

if you want him back desperately, you need to change your whole perspective as men generally resent clingyness and poccessiveness but instead value independant women who have their own social lives and goals to work/live for. instead of being completely emotionally reliant on him, start breaking out of your shell. learn to speak up, start interacting with people around you, build up strong close relationships with a variety of friends instead of just one. learn to love yourself, develop strong self-esteem and self-awareness, maintain confidence when you're with others or in social situations. dont keep to yourself, you never know how much you can be loved and how many ppl you'll be meetin and having fun with until you open up!

once you start having your own social life, you'll naturally be less reliant on him and once he sees that you're not so strung onto him, he'll naturally want you back. reverse pyschology works best with men!

Answer 2

Well it's hard to change who you are but you really need to step back and take a look at yourself.It's great that you know where your weakness's lie.This isn't really a problem that you can change just by saying "oh well I think I'll stop being shy and sad today"You should go to a therapist and talk about why you are sad and serious about everything.My son sounds just like you.I read your question out loud and my 19 year old said wow she sounds just like me!He takes EVERYTHING people say to him literally.It is terribly nerve racking at times!You need to lighten up and realize life can be fun and isn't nearly as grim as you think.This is what I tell my son.I cannot stress the importance of going to the doctor enough.You could have a chemical imbalance that might be helped with meds.But talking to a proffesional is a great start.You sound like a smart girl and I'm sure people will like you if you give them a chance.Go to youth groups or chat with people your age on-line.NEVER agree to meet anyone you talk on-line to unless you meet in a public place and bring some else along.Take a assertiveness class.I did and it helped mondo!They have motivational classes too.Google some of these ideas.Look for groups in your area.PLEASE call your family doctor.He/she can refer you to someone who will help.Good luck sweetie.Life is good!!!!

Answer 3

You have to sort out your issues first, because if you are just going to "pretend" just to get him back, you'll lose him again quicker than before!
See a councellor, read books about abuse, about depression, philosophy, religion. When you can truely let go of this terrible past you're carrying on your shoulders, then you can truely say you have "Let Go" and things will turn around in your life. Maybe you might find him again and realise he was as clingy as you used to be! Anything can happen if you let go...
The first step is stop telling yourself you need anything except your health, state of mind, and emotional well-being: anything else is Material, and like a drug: materials don't stop accumulating ideas in your mind.
When you feel a sense of freedom, you're a quarter-way there!
Believe in Karma, because everything you do right will come back to you ten-fold, but anything you do wrong will, too!
Enjoy your new life. You can't do anything to change your past but everything to change your future- the choice is entirely yours.

Answer 4

To be honest the lets be friend thing will never work if you love the person especially right after. Your just going to hurt yourself especially if he starts seeing someone else or hitting on other girls. Do yourself a favor and show him your not clingy by distancing yourself from him, maybe then he will realize that he misses you being by his side all the time.

If its meant be he wont let you go.

Answer 5

If you're going to make the effort to better yourself, don't do it for someone other than you. People are attracted to confidence. When you're in a social setting, don't take what people say literally. Observe how they say it and the tone its said. That should tell you if it's a joke or not.

Be observant and attentive when people are talking. Learn to read their body language. Who knows, if you feel better about yourself, you may not want him back.

Answer 6

i be attentive to what it somewhat is choose to be on the two ends of it and jealousy is hard to overcome. I propose conversing, enable eachother be attentive to what your plans for the day are and make it a factor to compliment eachother a minimum of as quickly as known. understanding that your companion loves you and thinks you're beatiful helps take the facet off. additionally by potential of conversing and conversing effectivly you would be attentive to the place eachother is to help get rid of any questions you have on your suggestions. attempt and be patint it takes time yet you will get there.

Answer 7

hi wisperssw,
understanding each other is the key of any relationship.
be open to ur b/f and tell him what u feel about him.
do not get angry on trivial issues. he will difinitely will come back. enjoy the life!