As a single mother, What should I write in my Daughter's baby book about "Daddy"?

Question

He left right after I got pregnant so there is nothing pertinent I can write in the book- should I cover the pages with pictures of her or something?

Answer 1

I would write his genealogy, or at least as much as you know.

And I would be honest in the baby book about who he was, what attracted you to him in the first place, etc.

But also be honest with her about the fact that he left, that it wasn't your doing. Don't make him out to be a saint.

She has the right to know about her Father, the good and bad. Just don't be judgemental in giving her the information. Give her the facts as she grows old enough to understand them and let her decide for herself how she feels.

The fact is, she probably won't read the baby book until she's old enough to be really curious about where he is anyway.

Answer 2

Please write his info into her book, full name, date of birth, race, you know...the "facts". Do not deliberately bad mouth him nor give him any undeserved praise. There may be a time when she is curious, and you may no longer be here to answer her questions.
In my case, my father left while my mother was pregnant w/me, she & my step father met while I was a small baby, & married by the time I was 2yo. He's the only dad I ever knew, & wasn't until I was in 3rd grade that I realized my last name was different from theirs. He legally adopted me b4 the school year was out. However, now that I've had a child and am wondering things like medical history on my "birth father's" side, there is no one alive to tell me. Grandparents and my parents have all passed away, my mothers sisters/brothers that are left are so elderly they have no memory of any info, or probably never had any. And I am an only child. So if for no other reason than for medicial reasons, pls list as much detailed info about your child's "sperm donor" aka father as is known to help get further details in the future. God forbid, your daughter (or her child) may need an organ donor & all other relatives may not match.
God bless!

Answer 3

Well April rose, why not go looking for your child's father and see if there are some friendly alternatives to keep him in your daughter's life. Introduce your daughter to him as soon as possible so he'll have a chance to bond with her. Of course, the best option would be if you and he could reconcile and get married. If that is not possible, then maybe you can obtain a sample of his DNA for your daughter's health sake. Possibly his family will help you stay connected because his parents are, after all, your daughter's grandparents. Like the sage advice from others, you need to tell the absolute truth, relay all the information about him and his family as you can find to your daughter in anyway you can preserve her heritage. Remember, she'll be looking for her biological father and this information sooner than you think. She is entitled to his estate and health information if you prove positive a DNA match.

Answer 4

I have the same problem as you. There are times when I just skip the page of anything that has to do with about daddy or his family. I am planning on putting pictures of my baby on the pages so that I can over them up. I havent finished her baby book.

Answer 5

I agree with alot of what is said. My mom was divorced before she met and married my dad. She never told my brother or sister (both half siblings) anything but the truth. That way if they ever met their biological father they wouldn't get caught with not knowing the truth. If you lie and they find out, then you wiill be made to look like a big liar, and they will question everything you have taught.

It is better to always tell the truth. Just be prepared to have some evidence to back up what you say.

Answer 6

Just write down what you can remember. Just general information (hair color, eye color, etc...), don't get too specific. She'll ask other questions when she's ready to hear all of that. You could also keep an envelope of pictures or whatever you still have of his. You may or may not want to keep this in the book, but make sure you do for whenever she decides to ask about him.

Answer 7

I think it depends on whether or not he will be involved in her life. I know it sounds kinda wrong, but I would write positive things.

Think of this situation:
Your daughter is 7yrs old and pulls out her baby book. She hasn't ever met her dad (who I'm sure she's curious about at this age). She turns to "Daddy's page"- what do you want her to see?

Do you want her to see that you covered it up?- she'll wonder why you did it and may even feel bad about it.

Do you want her to see positive things written like her dad's hobbies, what he looked like, what made him happy?

Do you want her to see a blank page? I'm sure she'll start asking you tons of questions.

The fact of the matter is that you want your child to have a positive view of her dad. If your child thinks that her dad is a looser (which may very well be the case) she may feel aweful about him. If he's never mentioned, she'll ask eventually and then you're back to square one- portray him in a positive or negative way?

Answer 8

I am sorry this has happened but your child deserves to know about her dad! I would put a picture of him in the book and write some good things about him so she doesn't have to go through life with NO knowledge of him.

Answer 9

don't try to hide the identity of her father from her. When she is old enough u can slowly start to tell her about what happened but if u deny her the right to know who her birth father is then she will only eventually grow up to hate u just leave it blank and dont try to cover it up. One day she will really understand what happened and she will know that u were the one that was there for her all the time. Good luck to you

Answer 10

You have a choice. You can either fill it with what you do know or you can leave it blank for now, in hope that someday a wonderful man will become her father. It takes a lot more than blood to be a daddy, and that in the long run will be a lot more important to her than (what I like to call) the "biological sperm donor!"