I have a friend who lost their only child (3 1/2 months old) back in September to SIDS. Recently she took a whole bottle of painkillers and ended up in the hospital. What do you say to that person? How do you express there is still a reason to live and go on after something horrible like that? She was never married and even returned back to college to try to pick up where she left off. Of course it will never go away, (I know, I miscarried almost 8 years ago and I still think about it) But she expressed she doesn't want to go on. She's already been seeing a psychologist. Any suggestions?
2007-03-05 16:40:32 · 9 answers · asked by squirrely 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
From me, I am so sorry for the loss both of you have had -you with your miscarriage-and this young lady, with the passing of her baby. Please tell her how you feel about her loss. Let her know how you can understand the loss. And, most of the time you may just need to be there. Physically be there, listen to her, share good stories about her little one with her, give her hugs when she needs them. I am glad she is in counseling. That helps a lot. Please let her know, that for a fact, her baby is in Heaven, and will grow up there. Her little one who is in Heaven now, would want mom to continue living life down here . Plus, this loss, as sad as it is, she is young enough, that she could have another child or two, or however many more to add to her life. Chiildren are a blessing. Your friend needs to keep going on. Day by day, hour by hour, and even minute by minute if needed. Has she told her counselor about how she feels, about not wanting to go on? She needs to let the counselor know. Is your friend on any anti-depressant? If not, that could help too. What kind of work/career was she in college for? Does she still want to go into that line of work? Or something else? Have you two gone out as friends on the town? To dinner? . Or lunch? What kind of hobbies/interests does she have? Do the two of you like to go bowling, swimming, anything like that? Maybe go for walks together? Plus, she can always feel free to call on God, talk to Him 24/7. In her mind, or out loud, He is there to listen to her. and comfort her. I wish you and your friend the very best. Take care.
2007-03-05 17:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since it is a friend you probably want to take the nicer route rather than the harsh one.
I would suggest reminding her that you only get to live once and if she kills herself, she is risking missing a lot of good that may come her way in the future.
I'm not a religious person by any means but I have found that almost everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, you never get to find out what those reasons are. Who knows, maybe this child would grow up to suffer a lot worse and was spared of this suffering at a young age.
Tell her that she will always miss her baby, but over time she will heal.
Who knows, maybe there is a better man for her out there and she will eventually have the family she wants- the only way she'll know is if she keeps on living.
She could end up with more than one beautiful child who she loves more than anything else in the world and if she kills herself now, she'll be missing out on that.
2007-03-05 16:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Erin H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can say to help her or make her feel better
the only thing you can do is be there for her hold her hand make sure she does not hurt herself again she needs time and a friend that will always be there
i know my daughter died 18 years ago of SIDS she was 2 months old i fell apart for a long time i do not remember most of the 2 years after it happened the only reason I'm still here is i had a daughter that was 15 months old at the time my baby died
just be her friend its all you can do
2007-03-05 16:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be available to be her friend and remember you really do know how she feels because you have been through something similar. Think what you wanted your friends to do and be that kind of friend.
Does she like the subjects she is taking in school if she is still in class. Do you know anything about the subject? A good point of conversation maybe.
2007-03-05 17:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Bullfrog21 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the 1st answer, just be there for her, there isn't anything you can say to make her feel better. i also miscarried last year and i couldn't imagine what it would be like to have the child for a few months THEN have it pass on, i was devastated enough as it is.
2007-03-05 16:49:59 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the only thing you can say is nothing. Nothing you say will take her pain away. All ypu can say is that you are there for her and always will be. Try to support her as much as you can, but know that time is the only thing that will make the pain less. It will never go away, but you can still be there for her. That's all you can do.
2007-03-05 16:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid there's nothing much u can do except be there for her. Since u experienced miscarriage before, it's good that u share about ur miscarriage and ur feelings about it. Maybe bring her to see someone who is less fortunate than her. (jus to let her realise there are many people who is worse of than her)
2007-03-05 18:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by libby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should comfort them and tell them that their baby is still with them and will never leave them again and say that they will see each other some way some how they will find each other and tell her until that day come she has to be strong because that probablly what her child would've wanted her to do.
2007-03-05 16:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could acknowledge her loss.
if you are a friend, you could ask her to talk about the baby and her feelings.
if you are an acquaintance, you can make a donation in the baby's name to an organization and give her a card with the info.
2007-03-05 16:44:52 · answer #9 · answered by KitKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋