I don't want to pay?

Question

If I marry my fiance will I ahve to help pay support for his child from another woman...if this is the case I won't marry him b/c I did not concieve this child and have my own so my money should go to her not some other womans kid.

we don't even get to see her...but maybe once every 6 months. I would be willing to buy he clothes and all of her needs while she is at my home, but i dont feel i should have to give up my money so she can take trips and buy clothes for herslef which is what she does with his money now because we saw her once and she told us she wears her mothers hand me downs and shes always alone...we'd like custody..id b willing to pay fro her if she lived with us...but i am not financing someone elses fun. It's not that I wouldn't take care of her just not when shes not with me...if shes with me I know my money is going towars things for her...got it

I love his child...and i pay for her when shes with us...its not tht i dont love her i just dont want my money to go to a woman who doesnt spend the money she gets on her child...i know the money he pays will b taken away from the household that doesnt bother me he should pay for his child...but i shouldnt pay for her unless she is with us...if i pay for her i want to know my money is going to her and the only way tthat happens is when she is with us

Answer 1

I totally agree with you, Brandi. The girl's mother should be told in
no uncertain terms, that monies sent for the girl's support, is
ONLY for that support--NOT her own pleasures!!
You (and your intended) should only have to pay for the girl's
support while she's at your home. Any other method of paying is
just plain stupid!

Answer 2

If you guys are together now anyway doesn't your money go to the same place. Whether or not he is paying or you are it's just an added expense that you guys have just like a cable bill or something. i understand that you don't want to pay to a crazy women whom isn't putting the money to proper use. But that shouldn't stop you from marrying him. If you guys both really love each other and want to do it, then go ahead. Also child support laws are different from state to state. Though as I said it shouldn't matter if you are married or not, she is an added expense that either way is gonna come out of his pocket, and if your money is put together anyway it really doesn't matter who is ACTUALLY paying it. No matter what you decided I wish you the best of luck :)

Answer 3

Not sure at what your ?? is...Do you mean to ask if they will take more from your fiance once he marries you? Technically, the courts should only take from what his income is, minus expenses (and if you have a kid with him, this WILL NOT be taken into consideration-most courts feel that the man should not have had more kids if he is supporting others from another relationship). But they won't take money from you, honey. Slim chance they might take a little more from his income. Look into it with a lawyer to find out all the nitty-gritties.

Answer 4

well he is the only one responsible for it, but if he cant pay u willalso suffer. get me? he'll go to jail if its not paid and youll miss him. they wont take your income into consideration when changing support amounts unless you have children with him. if he has other children thats less that he has to pay for that child. im married and we have the same situation. the money never goes to the kid. we can see teh kid all we want ,but because she is on welfare she wont give us custody. the child never has anything new and it may sound bad, but we give money every month, why should we be buying the child what he needs still? ridiculous. We can see the child whenever we want, but only so she can go out and do all the lazy mom on welfare stuff except get a job and support her kid. I completely understand you. but if he doesnt pay and you guys file together they will take your money too unless you file injured spouse for yourself to protect your earnings. so your safer unmarried, but dont let that hold u back if u love him. if he keeps it paid up, you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 5

Even if you marry him, you are not responsible for a debt that he incurred before you were married. I had this same concern when I married my husband, but I learned that my own wages, earned under my social security number, could not be garnished to cover my husband's debt.

Oh, and it's okay if you don't bond right away with your fiancee's daughter--love is not automatic, no matter what anyone says. It has to grow; sometimes, this takes a lot of time and sometimes it doesn't. It also might not happen at all. Instead of pressuring yourself to love her, try to enjoy the time you spend with her and get to know her. It's okay if you don't love your stepdaughter right away.

Answer 6

My husband and I had an agreement PRIOR to being married that paying Child Support is his responsibility and I would not contribute to that at all. I too love my step children and have been a major part of their lives. My point in the agreement was that he keep in mind that marrying me didn't make his responsibilty any easier or no longer his. That was over ten years ago and it has worked well. Good Luck

Answer 7

I can see where you are coming from. It makes sense. However from your fiancees poitn of view, that could be insulting and not make any sense. His child is part of him. You love him. Therefore the child is part of him... that comes with him. Kids are a package deal, no if's and's or but's, no matter how often he sees the child. I can understand that you are paying for someone you don't feel responsilbe or even attachted too.. but that could really insult him and make him feel like his child is a burden to you. No father should feel like his children are a burden. And no child should feel like a burden. Not really sure what you are asking, i think you are asking for support or opinions. Well, I see both sides and being a single parent myself, I would not be happy with your point of view, even though as an outsider I can see it. i don't agree. You love him, you accept his life

Answer 8

If you marry him you will pay even if it's by default. If he has child support, and I'm sure he does, that money isn't going to be part of your household income. If he pays, you all pay unless you both agree to keep all your bills and incomes separate. You better talk about this BEFORE you tie the knot.

Answer 9

I would get sum legal perspective on this. My husbands ex was constantly demanding more and more and more, till we finally put a stop to it and figured it al out. If he barely sees the kid, then he more then likely wont have to pay as much, as it doesnt sound like he has shared custody

Answer 10

you wont, the states go by the parents incomes... unless he is not working, then they will look at yours.

and no one is having 'fun' on child support. the money he sends doenst even cover food and daycare, or food and schooling expense.

thats one of the dumbest things i've ever heard.

you pay what? 400? 600? 900?

ok, lets see...
rent; 1000
electric 300
food 400-600
diapers 75-150 per month (fluctuates when baby is sick or teething)
heat 300
phone/cable 100
auto; (for doctors, dentists, take to school when they miss the bus, pick up when sick, pick up medicines, get food) 200
clothing/shoes/boots 200-400 every 2 to 3 months (seasonal and they grow)

that doesnt even include dental, doctors, glasses, daycare, hair cuts, school supplies, school lunches, school projects, class trips, class pictures, over the counter medicines, prescriptions, laundry det, dish det, cleaners, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, acne medicine, pads, bras, christmas, easter, halloween, tooth fairy, birthdays, etc. and sooo much more.

try calling 1-800- I CANT ADD


they do offer basic math at all county colleges...
.