Ladys I need your help!!!!!!!!?

Question

I have been seeing this girl and have grown much attached to her. We hit it off in all aspects. The chemistry is all right. She claims I’m the sweetest guys she’s every met. But it just seems like I’m always competing with her X. Although I never met the guy, her best friend claims he’s nothing than a player and a huge creep. All he thinks about is his self. She also says he got nothing on me in the wealth or looks dept. My girl friend also clams all the same and she would rather be with me. But he still calls her between his affairs, and it kind of seems like he’s able to rekindle a spark. I have always put the women in my life first but always seem to come in last. Why are some women attracted to ***holes? Can anyone help me with this? I really don’t want to loose this one!!!!

Answer 1

I can tell your a real sweetheart, but anyway, Joel some women and men are attracted to bad relationships b/c they might be co-dependent (look it up if u don't know). Whatever the reason, she is not giving you the respect you deserve. I think I speak for many emotionally stable women, when i say we would love to find a man as well-rounded as you seem to be (good-looking man with a good-heart and deep pockets! Oh my God!) Sounds like she's playing herself to me. And you say you don't want to loose her! Try and hush your heart for a minute and think logically. Ever heard the saying relationships are mirrors of ourselves? Well honey, your'e not looking in the mirror. She doesn't wanna let go of her indecisive, heartbreaking ex-boyfriend due to her own insecurities... as you don't want to let go of your indecisive, breaking your heart girlfriend due to yours! Go figure man! Learn from this before you get in way over your head like she has with that ongoing, going nowhere crap. Unlike her, don't let someone take your heart and kindness for granted! Obviously, she hasn't realized this yet, but hopefully you will learn from her behavior before you're the one caught up in the co-dependent loop. In short, if she doesn't get her act together move on to someone who can appreciate you and what you have to offer Joel.

Answer 2

Not all women are attracted to *******. In your case here, it just seems like this ex of your woman's has some kind of hold on her that no one else in the world can understand or explain. Sometimes two people have an attraction to each other that is totally unexplainable and the chemistry between them is just right. You know how sometimes they say opposites attract? It's the same principal. Nothing that you or anyone else can tell her - or him for that matter - can change the sexual-chemical attraction they have for each other.

Now I also believe from what you have said that she realises that he isn't the best guy in the world, so I don't think she'll be leaving you to go back to him. From the things you have said about the ex, I'm not really understanding why you say you are competing with him. Do you really need to compete with a jerk? Or are you trying to put him down to feel you are better than he is? Look, if you have the girl, you already win. And it won't help your cause to constantly bring him up and compare yourself to him to her - women do not like that.

Let things happen naturally - in matters of love that's the ONLY way they can happen. You cannot "out-do" an ex-lover. You just have to be yourself and give your girl every reason in the world to love you rather than reasons to NOT love him.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

I don't understand why you think he can rekindle a spark? She says she would rather be with you, her best friend says he's a creep, she claims you're the sweetest guy she's ever met... You're only stating the up sides here.

And trust me, women are NOT attracted to ***holes. Not at all. They can just be very manipulative...that's what makes them ***holes.

Now, I think you should either add to this question, explaining why you think she might still like him, or just ask her about it... Don't go thinking you can ask her best friend, she'll just tell your girl about it. Just ask her to tell you honestly, if she feels that it's possible for her to still be interested in him.

Other than that, I really don't think there's much to worry about...except if there's more you didn't say.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I have a friend who sound svery similar to your girlfriend. I do not know why girls act this way. But it is true when they say most girls want an a**hole. I think it's because they want to the feeling of being controlled and somehow are aroused by it. But if you girl lets him rekindle this spark everytime he calls her then you should rethink your relationship. Ask her if you are all she needs. If it makes you uncomfortable when she talks to him, TELL HER. If you are as close as you say she will understand. It's not right to keep in touch with an old love. Ask her how she would feel if you talked to your ex. You need to be open and honest with eachother. Hoensty is the road to a happy HEALTHY relationship. If she cuts you off and doesnt want to talk about it, chances are something is going on and you need to move on before SHE breaks YOUR heart. Hope I Helped.

Answer 5

Hum.....When you feel the time is right maybe you should ask her if she is interested in you romantically. "He's got nothing on you in the wealthy dept?" Looks I understand but wealth? That part turned me off. Is she a materialistic person? If you don't feel that "romantic" chemistry coming from her chances are quite possible she feels "safe" with you but not exactly in a romantic way/ I guess it's something you need to discuss. And if she says she loves you .....as a friend....believe me, she means there is no way she is interested in anything more.....But I have been wrong before....once i think:o) What ever you decide, good luck.

Answer 6

The reason all of my girlfriends who like "players" like them because it's a power/in for the chase thing. Sometimes nice guys get to play the victim because they never stand up for what they want.

Maybe you should just try being clear with her. Tell her you like her and you think she's great, but you don't think that it is fair that her ex is still on the scene. Ask for committment. Make it official and lay down the law a bit. She'll respect you for it. You can be romantic and sweet, but you have to have authority too.

Good luck! (and don't worry, the nice boys all win in the end!)

Answer 7

You may have to lose this girl to be able to be happy. You don't deserve this. If she is accepting his calls, well then she is not completely over this guy. Sounds like she is hanging on to you for her own personal reasons, to make x jealous or maybe she likes the wealth, I don't know I am not there. I feel for you though. Why can't I find a nice guy like some girls do. I treat them like they treat me.. I hate it when men and women get a great person in their lives and then get walked on like this. If you really want her, make her make a choice, simple as that.. Him or Me baby, It can't be both ways.. If you feel like you are competing with this Geek, than remember it will always be that way.. I feel for you.. Good Luck :)

Answer 8

girls have a thing for guys that they can't have or that everyone wants i mean we want bad boys or guys who have been taken so we can show that we got a guy who another girl once had i mean if you really care the way you say you do you should let her know that that is how you feel... be creative and clever think of a cute way to ask her on a date and then go somewhere you two like going or somewhere new and let her know how much you care. and the big thing don't throw in the towel just yet chances are she cares about you more then this guy she just is pulled away when he yanks her his way and she has no control

Answer 9

"Oh bad boys bad boys..whatchu gonna do? Whatchu gonna do when they come for you?"
Well maybe the painfully obvious thing to do is just ask her! Maybe the "spark" only exists in your insecure mind. Trust me, I've been there and jealousy makes your mind very creative and also paranoid! It's probably nothing. But if she still has unresolved feelings for the ex, she needs to step up and make a choice! If you score over the other guy in every aspect, even the bad boy appeal won't work for him!

Answer 10

have you confronted your girlfriend? have you told her how much you don't want to lose her? Have you met the ex? Is there any real proof to doubt her faithfullness? If the chemistry's there, don't worry about the jerk. Just focus on letting your girl know how much she means to you.
p.s. At first, guys like her ex seem fun and exciting. But then all the excitement wears away,and you realize what an idiot you were to fall in love with them in the first place.