My daughter recently told me she was rape.....?

Question

This happened 2 years ago by a football player at the University she goes to. She knew him before and he had never tried to even kiss her before this night. She told him no several times, he held her legs and forced her. He weights 300 lbs and she weights 120 lbs.

She said it didn't last long and she left fast, never told anyone till me a few days ago. The reason she told no one is because the football players at this University are very popular and she felt no one would believe her. I understand that knowing our state and the feelings for our football players.

He is a senior this year, I'm not sure if he is still at the University because some of the football players don't stay after their senior football season. I tried to look up a possible address but have found none.

I am not sure what I want to do about this. Any suggestions without pressing charges? Keep your head, dont suggest violence.

We don't want to press charges. Would make it worse for her.

There is no reason to lie. I know she isnt a virgin. And there was no reason to tell me other than to get it off her chest. She is a senior political science major. As I said no reason to tell, she doesnt want anything from him and just wanted to explain why she was upset during that time.

Answer 1

Violence for violence? That's a war state.

I suggest asking your daughter if she wants to press charges. It should have been done right away. Now that it's been so long, the chances of a case are slim - and the idiot is still out there ready to pounce on another helpless freshman girl.

Your daughter needs love and counseling.

Answer 2

if your not planning to press charges why should you look for the guy still? in my opinion it will be useless.. after you see him what are you going to do? if it would bring closure go ahead but its been 2 years its time to do something about the current problem & deal with it. the problem is probably much more than the rape incident, thats just the top of the iceberg. your daughter could be under depression, trauma, etc which you should focus more on instead of finding the guy. there is no need to look back without any plan or thoughts of why it shoul be done in the first place. its been 2 years it caused your daughter so much let her see a psychiatrist or a professional for that matter. and be there for her.

good luck & i wish you & your daughter well!

Answer 3

I don't see any other solution then to press charges. He doesn't deserve to graduate from the university! Letting him go now, he'll only do it again and maybe your daughter wasn't the first. Imagine that there's some other girl out there going through the same thing your daughter is going through. Talking to him won't do any help; he needs to be punished by someone with authority. He needs to know what he did was wrong, and that he shouldn't get away with it. If you were watching, let's say, Law and Order: would you want the the rapist to get away with rape or see him be punished?

Answer 4

I'm surprised you aren't wanting to respond to this with violence, you must be a very strong person. I'm telling you now if i had a daughter and anyone did that to her, i'd kill him.

Im sorry your daughters been through this but without pressing charges and without violence, you don't really have anything you can do!!

Answer 5

The first thing I would do is get counseling for your daughter if she already hasn't had any. This is very important. Then check the university's website for any information on the players.. history of games.. etc.. someone must have known him.. if you keep it polite and indirect you're bound to find out some info on him.

Answer 6

Just ask yourself first if she showed any signs to you that she was raped. Getting raped is not something that a girl can really hide. She would be extremely upset and wanting to hurt the guy who did it.
Maybe she hides things well and that's not your fault but maybe now something else has happened and she really wants this guy to hurt and why not say anything before. Check it all out before proceeding with court cases and stuff incase it is all a lie and you are stuck in more trouble. Good luck anyway.

Answer 7

You are in a bad position and one day the guilt and trauma will eat her up... I think you need to go see a counselor and maybe they can suggest a course of action...To do nothing and you know he will do this to others...............and to let her keep this bottled up is no good .......... I would have said go to the police and talk to detectives for advice ..not necessarily pressing charges...but do something ...

Answer 8

I feel sorry for your daughter. She needs to seek professional counseling. I was raped years ago and even after counseling I am still struggling with it. She really needs to try to work it out and stand up for herself. If you want to talk more about this go to my profile and send me an email. I will be more than happy to help in any way I can.

Good luck

Answer 9

Ask your daughter what she wants to do. Pressing charges after two years would probably hurt her more. If it were my daughter, I would beat the crap out of him even if I had to use a baseball bat.

Answer 10

Until your daughter stands up and faces this, it will haunt her. Also, who knows how many other girls he's done this to, who are afraid to come forward. Your daughter must stand up and do the right thing. She needs to go to the police and be willing to testify in court proceedings. Your job is to help her find the strength to do so.