It is wrong to expect morals from a girls?

Question

Believe it or not, in my 18+ years of life, I have never been on a date simply because I have never found a girl who lives up to my moral expectations. No, I am not a fundementalist or hardliner, but I just believe in respecting ones own body and other. I look the other way at girls who swear or drink or use drugs, I do not like clevage, I think that more emphasis should be put on how one acts that what one looks like, I think that people should follow God, I believe is waiting until marriage for sex, I do not like immoral intimatacy, etc. When I boil it all down, the only girls are Muslims (who I cannot date for religious reasons), girls who do not want to date at all, and nuns. Do I expect too much from girls along the lines of morality? Correct me if I am wrong, but are not people supposed to find somebody that they love, not just somebody who arouses them? This is the reason so many marriages today fail! Opinions please...

Answer 1

That mean you are lucky to find a girl like this. In every 1000 you'll find one like this. Dont let her go.

Answer 2

Hi,
No, it is not wrong to have strong morals or to want a potential girlfriend to have strong morals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to wait until marriage for intimacy, and being totally against drinking & drugs. That being said, no one is perfect. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs, but remember, imposing such stringent guidelines is unfair to both you and to girls you encounter. Re-read your question to yourself, and imagine that you are reading it as a single young woman. Would you feel intimidated by such lofty expectations, and feel as if you could never measure up? This could be the vibe you're giving out. Try getting to know people better, in a friendly way first, before you dismiss them too quickly. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised! As far as meeting people who have similar values to yours, I would suggest joining some groups or clubs, perhaps through your own religious organization, or doing some volunteer work in an area that you feel passionate about. Good luck! :)

Answer 3

It's good that you want more than just the body...it's hard to find a guy these days that is more interested in someone's mind that what's on the outside. I feel some girls/women think they have to act a certain way in order to get approval...I think you might be expecting just a tad too much but you do have the right idea in which you should someone based on a lot more than looks and for sexual reasons. I'm sure you'll find a girl like that someday because we're not all like that!

Answer 4

I think the key is to find a balance. No, you should not lower your standards (drugs, heavy drinking) but life is meant to be lived. Stop focusing so much on all the rules and look at her spirit. Honesty is priceless. Marriages fail mostly because couples don't communicate or don't work together to resolve their differences. I promise you it has nothing to do with a little cleavage showing or an occassional swear word. Have you tried a christian dating site? You shouldn't deprive yourself from dating because she isn't exactly what you want in a wife. There is a lot to be learned from us imperfect girls. It helps to broaden your experience and refine your search for a perfect future match. Best of luck.

Answer 5

You have all the reason in the world to want that. I was the same way when I was 16 (Im 18 now). To this day I have never drank or done any type of drug, or any of that sort of thing. I turned down every gangster guy, every guy who cussed, every guy who I knew only wanted one thing. I wanted someone who went to the same church as me and was involved like I was and had never had a boyfriend because I didnt find the right one. Finally, a guy that went to a sister perish of mine that was under my nose the whole time, started talking to me. We both wanted the same thing, morals. He was my first bf and i was his first gf. We have been together almost 2 years now and go to church every sunday and even teach cathecism together (not the same class). I believe I would not be happy if he did not have the same values and morals that I had.
Sorry to tell my whole life story, but I support you and your thoughts for wanting someone special like this. Believe me, it is worth the wait because that special person will complete you and will truly be the woman of your dreams. Good luck with your search for Miss Right.

Answer 6

I understand your views and where you're coming from, but you might wanna relax on your standards a bit. Sounds like you're looking for perfection. Hate to break it to you, but you're unlikely to find a girl who lives up to all those standards. Don't judge people if you don't know them, I assume you're a christian and I am too, but I doubt I could live up to those standards. Just because someone swears occasionally or goes drinking sometimes doesn't mean they're an immoral person. There are many good christians who love God and do their best to act accordingly, but we all struggle from time to time. People make mistakes, surely you have something you struggle with. Don't get to caught up with your standards, I agree with pretty much everything you mentioned, but that doesn't mean you can find someone to live up all those standards. Real people are flawed and looking for perfection is a sure way to be disappointed.

Answer 7

O.k. listen very carefully to what i am about to say to you. You as a male-well i do suppose you are human the only difference between you and i is that you are male and i am female. So listen to what i say so you only like Muslims girls or nuns. Well I was going to leave a man-very much of a man sleeping and walk away because i do love him. I mean that i really really do. Yes i had a glass of wine. He came and took me home even though i only wanted to let him rest. I very seldom wear my bra although i do have some cleavage.if i choose to use it. A female can be aroused as well as love. You want to be corrected if you are wrong so here i am i dare to correct you me only a female and all of that.. So many marriages fail because of a lack of communication and understanding. I only wanted him to rest peacefully.

Answer 8

You might be looking for love in all the wrong places . . . try meeting a girl in your church. A lot of women who are involved in their church are abstaining until marriage. The important thing to realize is that some women made the mistake and gave in before, but wish they hadn't. Please forgive them as God has forgiven them and don't turn them away because of their past mistakes. I, too, believe in abstaining until marriage, but I would forgive someone who took awhile longer to realze the beauty of chastity.

Also, you could set up a young adult chastity group through meetup.com or something. Try googling chastity groups and see what you come up with. Maybe you'll find a chapter in your own area or start one of your own!

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 9

I met the woman I married on August 10 and we were married on November 17 of the same year. We have been married for 17 years. I wasn't in search of a girlfriend or anything. I had recently made the statement, "God, if it is just me and you for the rest of my life, then I am ok with that." Within a month I met my wife and knew it the night we met.
I had reached a point in my life that God was truly number one. I only needed Him to satisfy me. That was when He knew that I was ready for the true love He had ready for me.
Grow closer to God...allow Him to fill that void...then you will be ready for the woman of His choice.

Answer 10

well coxy,you are a rare find and believe it or not there are many girls who feel the same way you do i have three nieces in the age group of 16-20 and do not want to become intimate with any one other than their husband and no they are not scary looking,one was just offered a scholarship to Harvard she values her body dresses modestly and is a kind heart young women.you are what every women really wants because you want them not their body so don't be hard on yourself your doing the right thing and when that girl comes you will find your life complete.

Answer 11

you are a hardliner. girls in this day and age are different than when the bible was written. we like to test guys out before marriage. we like to feel desired so we show off our assets. we like drinking and drugs for the same reasons guys do. and it's gonna be almost impossible to find a girl that doesn't swear at least a little.