Why do parents tell their kids no, then turn around and get them what ever it was that they said no on. I don't understand this. When I tell my children NO that is what I mean.
2007-03-05 14:23:59 · 19 answers · asked by Mary 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Some kids behave that way because parents are lazy, too busy, or just find it easier to let their kids run wild.
Some kids have behavioral problems from mood disorders, emotional trauma, or physical Trauma.
It all depends on the child. Children have more freedom theses days, more children yell, scream, argue with parents. Society as a whole has given our children too much freedom, they don't respect adults, not many have manners.
The parents that teach their children manners and morals I praise you!!!
I have a step son that had a mother that Screwed him up emotionally, and he has behavioral problems from it, but he has manners and morals.
2007-03-05 20:59:47 · answer #1 · answered by i love my sexy hubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you, but I think it's because parents are so tired these days they just dont want to fight. My background is in behavior modification, and when I tell my daughter no, that's the end of it. If you do this from the very beginning you wont have as many problems when they are older. It's the kids that are told no, then the parents give in that have problems because they know that their parents will give in if they push it. I think parents are also not wanting to feel embarrased in a store when their child has a tantrum, but if you stay strong, they will believe you when you say no and wont throw a tantrum.
2007-03-05 22:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's easier to cave than put up the fight. This might be especially true where both parents work and are too tired or stressed to resist their kids. Also, I think working parents can feel guilty about the time that isn't spent with their kids and might try to compensate for that. That said, good for you. The rest of us can appreciate disciplined kids.
2007-03-05 23:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I read in parenting magazine that you need to stick by your guns and so when you say no mean it. Though it did say that sometimes it is ok to give in during certain situations. You need to pick your battles, sometimes the argument in the grocery store is solved with a piece of candy is easier than dueling it out in the middle of the grocery line, but if you do it every time your child learns this pattern and can depend on it. It becomes harder the older they get to break the cycle.
2007-03-05 22:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by tylw85 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is just bad parenting. Most parents are just to lazy to discipline their children. They don't discipline them as toddlers and then wonder why they have bratty, out of control teenagers.
I believe that my son is spoiled to some extent but I am like you, No means No.
I teach preschool and my discpline problems have parents who let them do whatever they want. The children come to school thinking the world revolves around them. It really is sad...
Hopefully someone will read this question, recognize themselves as guilty of this, and change!
Take Care,
SD
2007-03-05 23:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a "giving in" parent - I am very reasonable - but when I say no, I mean no. In fact, if my kids keep nagging me (we call it yammering) they get punished because it's disrespectful.
I think parents give in because the kids keep nagging and maybe they think it's the fastest way to get them quiet - I don't know??
2007-03-06 16:55:19 · answer #6 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why?
1. they are lazy and don't want to be bothered and its easier to let the kid have their way.
2. parents seem to think that they should be their kid's best friend. they want the kid to like them and if they let the kid have what they want the kid will like them even more. they are afraid to discipline their child in case the kid 'hates' them.
3. the old adage 'he who dies with the most toys wins!' people are so into having everything everyone else has that they have forgotten how to say no to their kids. [people have gotten far too materialistic!]
4. they don't have the time. they are so busy with their 'careers' that they dont' have time for their children. its far more important to get ahead in their jobs than to care for their families.
we need to get back to basics in life. showing your family you care about them should be first and foremost, and showing them you care means saying no sometimes. i am glad that you have got that figured out!
2007-03-05 23:31:10 · answer #7 · answered by tess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think many parents only parent when it's convenient for them. It's not a matter of what's right for the child but what the parent feels like doing at the time. The children probably don't have any consequences for their actions either. It's a lack of discipline and a lack of true parenting on their part.
2007-03-05 22:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You are right! My kids always knew what no means. But we have a friend that gives in after she has said no and believe me, this is not doing the kids any favors, in fact, they are loosing important lessons in life that need to be learned.My friend does it because she doens't want to "deal with it", she doesn't want to rock the boat, just keep things flowing smoothly. Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way?
2007-03-05 23:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by coolmom 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make, in my opinion.
My personal explaination for many that do this, in today's
society, with working mom's and dad's . . they feel they don't
have enought time to spend with the child and don't want to
spend what time they do have, disciplining. What they don't
realize is that if they give in, they are creating a demanding,
obnoxious and whiney child, that ultimately, they dont want
to be around. Folks need to realize that they are a PARENT
first, not a friend . . . there will be time for that later.
2007-03-05 22:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by yarmiah 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋