Parent's what do you think of t.v's in a child's room???

Question

I just asked a question not too long ago about my 16 month old and how to better prepare him for his first night in a toddler bed ( he is more than ready for this so there is no need to tell me to wait) I mentioned that my son has a t.v DVD player and a VCR in his room and I got a few rather rude replies on the fact that I allow a t.v in his room and how I was being negligent blah blah.
Do you parents think that me having a t.v in my son's room that he only watches at night. Please keep in mind that he has a vast variety of Disney, baby Einstein, and Baby Genius DVD's and VHS's that is why we have both in there. THERE IS NO CABLE WHAT SO EVER IN THERE so he can only watch what I put on for him and that is it. He only watches t.v at night when he is put down to bed to help mellow him out a bit same with the nap ( he only gets 1 a day) other than that that is the only time other than when we are using his V-Tech baby, I don't just let him watch t.v or use a t.v as a babysitter

I am very hands on with my son and we also attend baby playgroups, Everyone that I have talked to about the T.V in my son's room and how it is being used says that it is fine, so my question is for all of you parents out there do you think the way I am using a t.v in my son's room is inappropriate?
AGAIN KEEP IN MIND THAT I DO NOT LET HIM WATCH T.V AT ANY OTHER TIME OF THE DAY OTHER THAN BEFORE HE GOES TO BED IT IS HIS LITTLE REWARD FOR BEING GOOD AND NOT THROWING TANTRUMS DURING THE DAY if he throws tantrums during the day he doesn't get to watch a movie at nap time and so on.

My son is 16 months old how is he able to do anything else. Besides the t.v is only used while he is going to sleep!!

One of you said that letting him watch t.v at this young of an age might cause an addiction or a dependency for it, I never had a t.v in my room until I moved out of my parent's house and even before then I needed something to help me fall asleep or my mind would wonder so I had to listen to the radio or what ever it may be. Also we have tried the radio and that just doesn't work at all, we do have a routine every night and it goes dinner time bath time and wind down time which is when we read stories and just cuddle but the movie or video so to speak helps him drift to sleep. It has been working for me and honestly his pediatrician doesn't think negatively about the whole idea because she knows I don't let him watch it all the time only at bed time and nap time and they are developmental video's or disney video's it is not like I am just constantly sticking him in front of the t.v so I can whatever I am with my son all day long

ONE THING I FAILED TO MENTION IS THE FACT THAT MY SON HAS HAD HIS TV IN HIS ROOM FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW AND SOMETIMES I DON'T PUT IT ON AND HE FALLS TO SLEEP JUST FINE SO HE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON IT AT ALL. WE RECENTLY WENT OUT OF TOWN FOR A WEEK AND THERE WAS NO TV IN THE ROOM WHERE WE STAYED AND THAT WAS NOT A PROBLEM HE SLEPT JUST AS WELL AS HE WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE HAD HIS TV. MY SON WATCHES NO T.V DURING THE DAY THAT IS WHEN WE PLAY TOGETHER. WE ARE WORKING ON A FEW DIFFERENT THINGS SUCH AS SIGN LANGUAGE AND WHAT NOT. MY SON IS VERY BRIGHT FOR HIS AGE HE IS ABLE TO POINT TO CERTAIN BODY PARTS WHEN ASKED, HE CAN SIGN A GOOD BIT, AND ALSO SPEAKS A FEW WORKS CLEARLY. SO I DOUBT THE TV IS HOLDING HIM BACK FROM ANYTHING BECAUSE SOME OF THE OTHER KIDS HIS AGE I KNOW AREN'T DOING A LOT OF THINGS MY SON IS DOING SO I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!! :)

VATO I AGREE WITH SOME OF THE THINGS THAT YOU SAID BUT STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH QUITE A FEW THINGS YOU SAID. MY SON IS VERY BRIGHT AND VERY OUTGOING. I SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH HIM AS I AM A STAY AT HOME MOTHER SO HE IS ALWAYS BEING ENTERTAINED BY ME OR BY HIMSELF WITH HIS TOYS. TO BE HONEST I DON'T FOLLOW THE BOOKS WHEN IT COMES TO PARENTING I GO BY MY OWN MOTHERLY INSTINCT AND THANK GOD I DID BECAUSE I HAD MY SON SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT AT A WEEK OLD AND EATING ON A REGULAR SCHEDULE BEFORE HE LEFT THE HOSPITAL IF I WERE TO FOLLOW THE SO CALLED "GUIDELINES" ON PARENTING THEN I DOUBT SOME OF THESE THINGS I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISH WITH MY SON WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WHEN THEY DID. IM SORRY BUT AS YOU STATED YOU WOULDN'T ALLOW A T.V IN YOUR CHILD'S ROOM AND THAT IS YOUR CHOICE BUT MY SON IS VERY ADVANCED FOR HIS AGE, HOW MANY 16 MONTHS OLD DO YOU SEE USING SIGN LANGUAGE AND ALSO SPEAKING CLEARLY ( A FEW WORDS ) AND ALSO ABLE TO PINPOINT DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY

OK AGAIN I AM GOING TO SAY THAT I DO SPEND A TON OF TIME WITH MY SON READING HIM BOOKS AND PLAYING WITH HIM AS WELL AS TEACHING HIM DIFFERENT THINGS. HE CAN FALL ASLEEP WITH OUT WITHOUT THE T.V I DON'T USE IT EVERY NIGHT BUT EITHER WAY HE FALLS ASLEEP JUST FINE, PERSONALLY I AM RATHER HAPPY THAT I PUT IT IN THERE BECAUSE WHEN WE SIT IN THERE TOGETHER AND PLAY WITH HIS V-TECH BABY HE IS ABLE TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT SHAPES AND COLORS IT IS AMAZING HOW MUCH HE HAS LEARNED FROM THE VIDEO'S. OK WELL HOW ABOUT THE PARENTS WHO PUT T.V'S IN THEIR CARS TO ENTERTAIN THE CHILDREN WHILE DRIVING WHY NOT HAND THEM A BOOK, OH THAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE A 16 MONTH OLD CAN'T READ THEY ARE ENTERTAINED FOR A FEW MOMENTS AND THEN BACK TO BEING ANNOYED AND WANTING ENTERTAINED. I PERSONALLY WON'T PUT A T.V IN MY CAR BECAUSE MY CHILD KNOWS HOW TO ENTERTAIN HIMSELF THE T.V IS NOT ON A NEED TO HAVE LEVEL AND NOR WILL IT EVER BE BECAUSE I CAN END THAT BY TAKING IT OUT OF THE ROOM AS QUICKLY AS I PUT IT IN!!

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR APPROVAL FOR ANYTHING THAT I DO WITH MY SON BECAUSE AS I STATED HE IS MY SON AND AS LONG AS I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING FOR HIM IS RIGHT AND THAT HE IS DEVELOPING THE WAY HE SHOULD THEN I HAVE NO NEED TO WORRY. MY SISTER NEVER HAD A T.V IN HER ROOM AND SHE USED TO SIT IN FRONT OF ONE AND STILL PREFERS TO SIT IN FRONT OF ONE AND SHE IS 17. JUST AS YOU ALL GAVE YOUR OPINION I AM GIVING MY OPINION ON SOME OF THE ANSWERS I HAVE RECEIVED ON THIS BECAUSE I FIND IT RATHER OFF THAT SOME PEOPLE PREFER THE TEXTBOOK WAY OF RAISING A CHILD INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING THEIR OWN MOTHERLY INSTINCTS. I HAVE NEVER NOR WILL I EVER GO BY A TEXT BOOK IN MEANS OF RAISING MY CHILD, SO FAR EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE FOR HIM AND DONE WITH HIM HAS WORKED OUT PERFECTLY SO I HAVE NO NEED TO WORRY BUT I FOUND IT QUITE OFFENSIVE HOW SOME PARENTS TOLD ME THAT I WAS USING IT AS A CONVIENENCE OR A WAY TO AVOID MY CHILD OR WHATEVER BECAUSE THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL!!!

Answer 1

Why do you need the TV at night? That's my question. If you are so hands on with him then why do you need it at night?

Do you strap your son into a car seat? Did you even consider to breastfeed? If so I bet part of the reason is because both have been widely spread by the AAP. The AAP says no TV before the age of two and no one decides to follow that "rule" but do every other little thing.

Either way do whatever you feel you need to do. It's not up to me to decide how to raise your child but I do see why it's alarming to some. I choose not to let my kids watch TV. I think there are so many other things that they can be doing that are so much better then a baby Einstein movie.

It's up to you what to do with your child. But realize that the American Association of Pediatrics is against it and that's why so many others are too.

I don't care what excuse parents use. TVs are just convenient. It's more convenient at nap time to hear Mozart then actually teach a child how to fall asleep on their own. It's more convenient to put them down and leave then actually having to comfort kids. I totally understand. It's just a matter of admitting it.

ETA: Another excuse--husband being AD Military. Guess what? My husband is AD and he's currently deployed. I still shower. I still have a clean home. I still do everything a "normal" mom does but I just work around it. TVs really aren't necessary. What is the benefit of them?

ETA2: The American Association of Pediatrics has nothing to do with parenting. It has to do with the HEALTH of a child. It's not a pop-psychologist. It's actual sound proof of why children do end up with problems. Much like the American Association of Cancer. This isn't about following motherly instincts. My goodness, what kind of motherly instincts tell a person to put a TV in a kids room?

Answer 2

Oh blahblah blah. You do realize that any parenting technique you post is going to be blasted by at least 50% of the people here? The other 50% will agree with you. I happen to agree with you on this, although I didn't always, I used to be a pretty obnoxiously self assured parent who 'knew it all'.

My son is twelve and has had a TV for a year in his room. He has a DVD/VCR player, and three game systems hooked up. My daughters are 7 and 8 and have an a TV with a game system in their room for maybe eight months? We also have a TV in our family room with cable, VCR/DVD player. They have them because we lifted all TV restrictions in our house as an experiment. Do you know what I found? Despite all the 'professional' advice about TV addiction, my children spent about three months watching all they could, and then they got their fill. They don't HAVE to watch TV like all these poor kids who are restricted because they know that they can watch it when they want to. It's a basic law of supply and demand...you decrease supply, and they will demand MORE MORE MORE! Parents who say that they tried letting their kids choose, restricted way too fast. Have you ever walked past the sweets aisle, and told yourself you shouldn't buy something? So the longer you go without, the more you think about it, the more you obsess until finally you break down and buy it. To continue, have you ever eaten so many sweets that you were sick of them and just wanted brocolli? Most kids never get the opportunity to do so, and they don't understand why parents are so up in arms about TV, sweets, bedtime, they have no power, and no choice, and so those things have LOTS of power over them.

Anyway, my kids are very active, and we are a very close family. They usually choose to spend time playing board games and doing schoolwork, because TV has no power of them. It's like any other tool in our household for learning.

Answer 3

well, personally I think you can't go wrong with no tv...but it doesn't sound like you're using it as a replacement for you...or allowing too much of an addiction to start.

Another way to calm him down is to sing little songs and read stories...

But really, he's your son, you're the best judge of how it's affecting him. In general I'm against TV in a kid's room, but usually I'd be thinking of actual TV of being "dangerous", not child-appropriate videos. If it works as a treat for you, great...

but there's some very lovely bonding time available while they're winding down if they're not glued to the tv...I guess if you get enough time for that, then don't worry about it.

Answer 4

I don't agree for a couple of reasons:
1.)I think kids should be able to fall asleep without the help of the T.V.
2.) I don't think kids should get "used" to having a T.V. in their room. He's a toddler now, and he doesn't care that there's no cable........ Down the line, at 12, 13, that will be a battle you'll be dealing with. Plus as he gets older and is able to turn the TV on by himself it's always there in his room---his personal space, to watch whenever he's up there. When he should be doing homework, getting a good night's sleep for school instead of staying up watching TV........
I just think it's one slippery slope that nothing good will come of, so why bother? Get him used to falling asleep another way and get the TV out before he's old enough to miss it.

Answer 5

What is wrong for some might be right for others....our kids ended up sleeping with us when they were little...a lot of people thought this was horrible.....but they seem to rest better ......I had two born really close together....and anything that would help them to rest at night I was all for it..... I let them watch Disney movies at night and they went right off to sleep.......I pretty much have "rescuers down under" and many others memorized ...lol....

I don't know if it is "right" or "wrong"....and as far as it having much of a negative impact on them ..I don't see any..they are now normal teens.....and the only time they set in front of a TV is when the weather is to bad out to do anything...but once is clears up...they are out and about......

Children don't come with an instruction manual..and no two are the same...sometimes you just have to do what you feel is right and best for your child..and not worry to much about what others think.......

Answer 6

Don't worry what other people think about how you raise your baby. I am sure you are a great mother, if you want to put a TV in his room, go for it. It will keep him comfortable at night when he goes to sleep. I have a 4 yo and a 2 yo and they get mad if I turn off their TV when they go to bed. It keeps other distracting noises away, and it will help him drift off to sleep better if there are some nice soothing songs or something. Stop being so paranoid about what others think.

Answer 7

My husband was active duty military for the first few months of my son's life. Had it not been for his little TV/VCR combo, I'd have never showered or eaten a meal.

He did eventually figure out how to turn it on himself, and that was when I took it from his room.

Don't let what people say bother you. I did pretty much the same as you - no cable, videos under my control. I didn't make it a babysitter, but as I stated, it was invaluable at times when nothing else would work. He's 4 now, with no ill effects.

Answer 8

It just seems to me like you were only trying to find aproval with this question... Why do you ask the question if you refute everyone who doesn't have the same opinion? Did you think you were gonna have more support? Are you trying to convince yourself that what you do is "right"? I don't understand, though... if your son is capable to go to sleep on his own, why do you put the t.v. in his room? It really doesn't do bad, as you mention, your son's smart. But the problem is that later on in life he may want to watch it more often. I saw this happen to my niece and nephew.
I just don't see the point in letting a child watch t.v. Babies went to sleep just fine without a t.v. or a radio centuries ago. However, it seems like you're not gonna change your mind no matter what we have to say so I just don't see the point in posting a question about it.

Answer 9

I answered your prior question saying that it wasn't safe for a TV to be on top of a dresser that your child may climb on it or pull it over on him.
I don't think there is nothing wrong in having a TV in a child's room when they are older like 3-4 years old but 16 months old is a little too young.

Answer 10

well tv is good to have for them to learn things my son has the v-tech as well and there are some programs that teach him the basic colors and stuff and at night i let him watch veggie tales...because they arent so scarry and overwhelming and he sleeps fine.... and during the day i have it on but just for him to listent to the singing and so he will dance and interact .... the tv is not a baby sitter most people would agree when i say that when its on its only for a little while because the favorite cartoons only last for a little while not all day....