My little girl wants her mum?

Question

i'm a 20 year old lad, with a little 2 year old girl,

she has been cryin ever since her mum has gone,
i dont know if she misses her mum cause she only 2,
do 2 year olds know whats happening around them,
ive been to the doctors and he said theres nothing wrong with her,
so the only thing i think of is her mum has gone,she might be teethin but should not be cring this much

but i can not let her mum near here, lets just say she should not be by kids,

what should i do, if theres nothing wrong with her,
i feel so sad that all she does is cry

Answer 1

Absolutely she could be crying for her mom. Do you have a sister or mom that could come around to take the place of a mother figure in the girls life? If your daughter was previously with her mom she will mss her and know that a woman should be there and isnt. In time it will pass but it would also be easier if you had someone to help with the transition like a grandma, sister, cousin, aunt, etc. Good luck!

Answer 2

Her mum was probably the one person she saw the most of and so I do think she will be noticing her absence or at least she will be picking up on the vibes that something is not quite right. I know when my kids were 2 and my hubby worked away then they didn't cry for him but they certainly asked for him and wonder where he was. It sounds like you wee girl has been separated from her mother under bad circumstances so it's maybe hard for her to be relaxed about her mum's absence.
It could just be 'the terrible twos' and nothing but patience and good parenting will overcome that.
Is there no way that you could let your girl see her mum with you and another adult still present? Her mum might be better behaved if there are other people constantly there. Then you could see your girl's reaction and decide for certain whether the separation is anything to do with it.
Good luck. It sounds like a really tricky situation and I hope things settle for you soon.

Answer 3

Gosh what a wonderful person you must be taking on the responsibility of being a single parent.

My eldest daughter is 2.5 and i know she would be devastated if i left but at the end of the day it sounds like you have made the right decision. Just keep that in mind when she is crying.

My only advice to you would be to reassure her that you are there for her. She will probably just be feeling really unsettled at the minute and wants stability - give her this. Also make your time together fun - and it doesn't have to cost a fortune. Go on picnics to the park, take her to feed the ducks, take her swimming. Make being with you fun and something she wants to do. I know it must be hard but believe me she will soon get over the fact that her mum is there and get used to the idea of it being just the 2 of you.

It will be hard for you but try not to let it show. Make sure she is in a good bedtime routine as children love routine. This will also give you a break on a night knowing that you have sometime to yourself once she is in bed.

Hope this has helped. Good luck and i promise it will end x

Answer 4

Give her lots of hugs! Spend as much time with her as possible. Let her play with neighbor kids. DIVERT her attention. It will help.

As for the question: do 2 year olds know whats happening around them, the answer is YES!

They sometimes just have a sense for things. My oldest son (not biologically mine) was 2 when his mother died in a car accident. He was with his grandad when they heard the sirens go down the road. This was not the first time he had heard sirens so I know it wasn't just that he was scared of all the lights. Not knowing what happened, my father-in-law went to see what was going on. The closer he got (luckily for my son) my son started screaming louder and louder. My father-in-law had to turn around and take him home before he could see what was going on. And it's a good thing because it was his mother!


Also, people all too often underestimate how much a 2 year old knows and can learn. (Most people do not remember when they were 2 but they understood a lot). Let me give you an example: when my son was 2 years old, as we were walking thru the store he pointed up and said, "There is a triangle." I said, "That's right." Then he said "look Mom, a hexagon." When I asked where, he had his fingers in the holes of the buggy. And sure enough they were in the shape of hexagons. I tell you this to let you know just how observant they are.

It will get easier with time. Good luck to you. Just try to keep her busy so that it's not on her mind as much.

Answer 5

You don't say how long her mum has been gone?? I'm guessing the situation is still pretty raw. She will sense that her mother is gone. Mothers and children have a strong bond and to have this taken away is something that she can't understand. I would try and introduce another female influence who she is acquainted with such as your mother or sister and whenever you can deflect the situation with playtime or some other kind of distraction.

It will get easier, as the saying goes "out of sight, out of mind".

Good luck and continue being a good father!!!

Answer 6

Your child obviously misses her mom, its normal, she seen her mom, I am assuming for 2 years and now she doesn't anymore. Maybe you could make a picture album of her mom, or a memory box for her, and when she gets upset and misses her mom, she could look at the pictures. Even though her mother can not be around her, don't let the child feel that she has to just forget her. She does not know that her mom is not allowed to see her and in her eyes her mom is 100% perfect. Comfort her when she crys for her mom, and reassure her that its ok to miss mommy. If you don't have pictures then maybe put a special piece of clothing in a box that her mom bought her. Something to remind her of her mom.
Always make sure that you give her lots of attention, don't use her crying the only time you give her the attention she needs because then she will continue to cry for that attention. Keep her busy during the day, get her involved in activities, something to keep her mind off her mom, so its easier for her to move on. Good Luck, and your an awesome dad for being there for your daugther.

Answer 7

I am having a similar problem with my kids 2 & 7 wanting dad. I am finding that they are forming attatchments with our pastor and two other men from our church. They are positive rple models that give my kids plenty of attention but also tell them no & make them mind. Is there any ladies your little one can look up to such as this...nursery teacher, grandmother ,auntie ,neighbor ,babysitter...?
I realize this is very hard for you to handle with all the crying. If you get to the point of feeling guilty, like you took her from her mum, just remember the reason she is not with mum. Know that you are doing the best you can for her. Give lots of love and be consistant with what you tell her. Let her know you will not leave her or "dissapear" from her.
Best wishes & God Bless

Answer 8

I'm sure she's feeling separated. What you will need to do is to be both parents. Plenty of hugs and cuddles and playing silly role play games together. You need to forget that you're an adult at times and just be really child-like. Get down to her level and play pat a cake and "this little piggy". I think men find it harder to be naturally maternal but I'm sure you will do a great job. Who knows, in the future her mum might sort herself out and be able to see her but in the meantime remember that all kids really need is love love and love.

Answer 9

You feel sad because you love her. Thank goodness she has a good father who is there for her. Just be there for her as best you can. It is normal for a little girl to feel this way, most small children tend to be attached to their mothers. It's not that you're doing anything wrong. Just try to spend some good time with her when you can. Take her to fun places, like the playground, and just show her how much you love her. Eventually, this will pass, and believe me, when she's an adult, she'll KNOW who the one was that was there for her. Keep your chin up, you're doing a good job. Best wishes to you and your little girl!

Answer 10

Try taking her out to a park and playing with her.

Yes, change is difficult for little kids - you may even just tell her (without any details) that it isn't good for her mommy to be here right now - and you hope that may change in the future, but you can't make it happen.

Then try to find things she likes - she will get used to the idea with time.


I know that's not a lot of help when they are crying and we want to help them, but she's too little to understand and will recover if you love her and give her time.

Best of luck.