I am hurt by first time sex problem?

Question

Hi
I am very confused about my sex life. I love this guy a lot and we tried to have a sex first time and it didnt work out. He tried many times and finally he got very upset. I think i am not getting excited and not getting ready for the sex even after 2 or 3 hours of foreplay. What should i do? Do i need to go and see the doctor. I am hurt a lot. I love this guy and dont want to miss him in my life. Only 1/4 percent went inside my part . Can anyone help me?
Did anyone had this same problem and later had a successful family life.

Answer 1

The Woman In Control
At the start of intercourse a woman's partner is poised at the gate to her castle with a battering ram. Obviously, it is easier for them to enter if she opens the gate herself. Since a woman needs to make room within her body for her partner's penis, she should be in control of intercourse and in a dominant sexual position. The only person who is really going to know what is going on inside her body is the woman herself. Even if the couple has good communication skills, if there is a problem, she may not be able to communicate this to her partner quick enough to keep from ruining the moment. Her partner's penis cannot sense what she is feeling. Her partner may not know if they are pushing their penis too hard or in the wrong direction. Only she will know these things, at least initially. Of course, it is possible for a woman to put too much pressure on her partner's penis, and in the wrong direction if she is not careful.
It is for this reason that a woman should be on top of her partner during their first experiences with intercourse. She needs to have full control over how her partner's penis enters her. This position gives her the greatest freedom of movement and control. She lowers herself down onto her partner's penis at whatever rate is comfortable to her, while controlling the angle of penetration. Another possible sexual position is for her to be on her hands and knees with her partner behind her. In this position, her partner should hold still while she presses back and receives in their penis. This second position is the position our bodies are designed to have intercourse in, but it probably is not as good as when the woman is on top. There is also the missionary position where a woman's partner lays on top of her. Many women enjoy this position as it is more intimate since they are lying so close together but orgasm is less likely for her.
How Do We Do It?
How does a couple have intercourse for the first time? The desired place and time have been described above. The room should be adequately lit for the couple to see what they are doing but probably not so brightly lit that you can read a book. Candles may add a nice romantic touch. Do not have intercourse for the first time in the dark as it literally leaves you in the dark. If you are not comfortable being naked in front of your partner with the lights on, you are not ready for intercourse. Other than a single glass of wine or champagne, alcohol and drugs should have no part in this activity.
A good way to get ready for sex and intercourse is to take a shower or bath together. Wash each other from head to toe; the genitals should only be rinsed with plain water. Having done so, you will most likely feel more comfortable with the idea of manually and orally stimulating each other's genitals. After bathing you can stay nude or put on some sexy lingerie, even though you have just seen each other nude the appeal of dressing sexy does not change. During all of this there should be a lot of touching and kissing going on. Men generally need to make an effort to be gentle. Being too rough is probably the number one complaint women have in regards to men's sexual technique.
The next step may be to give each other a full body massage. Using very light strokes apply massage or baby oil to one another. This allows you to explore your partner's body and for them to get accustomed to your touch. The touching of breasts and genitals is okay but should be playful. Tease each other. You want to stimulate the skin versus massaging the muscles; your hands should glide over your partner's body not press into it. This is meant to relax you both.
The next step is to give each other an orgasm. Sex and orgasm releases hormones that help relax the body. It will make vaginal penetration easier if orgasm occurs first and it helps take the nervous edge off and quells some of the sexual energy. A couple should be quite versed in ways of bringing each other to orgasm at this point in their relationship. The method used does not matter. A couple can even choose to watch each other masturbate to orgasm. Even couples that have not had sexual contact before can do this, as it is likely that they both know how to masturbate to orgasm. A woman who has been using her fingers, a dildo, or other object to prepare her vagina may want to introduce this into their sexual activities at this point. If a man ejaculates at least once prior to intercourse it will lessen the chances he will ejaculate quickly during intercourse, as he is likely very excited
Who Should be the First?
Which sexual partner should a teen or woman chooses to have intercourse with for the first time? That depends on the individual. A long-term partner is a good choice. You do not need to love them or be married to them, but you should be good friends who trust and respect each other. You should enjoy being together and hopefully you are able to express your thoughts and feeling with them freely. You should be able to envision the relationship lasting years versus days or months. This is because sex is a learning process that takes time and communication. Before you get to the point in the sexual relationship where you consider intercourse you should have already spent a lot of time developing your basic sexual skills together. You should already enjoy sex together. Teens and women should choose the sexual partner they have intercourse with for the first time with caution, if you are not sure they are the right one, they're not. Even if they are the right one, it does not mean you HAVE to either.

Answer 2

I've heard that sometimes that can be a problem if there's a sub-conscious doubt or instability in a relationship. Sometimes, I guess, is that the mood for you has to be perfect. That or it could be a hormonal issue, so talking to your Doc. should help. But as a moral keeper: Hang in there cuz when the excitement comes, for you and your love, it will be great. I wish you the best, and I hope this provided at least some comfort.

Answer 3

It can take quite a bit of effort the first time. That's normal. Use some vaseline. That will do it. I bet you didn't think to bring that along the first time. The second time will be the charm. You should also use condoms. You need to be able to talk about it. It's quite normal. You shouldn't have any inhibitions about it. Tons and tons of young ladies get pregnant this way. Don't let that happen. Just go to a store and buy some - the lubricated kind! Please, don't make that mistake.

Answer 4

You'll be fine. You're just young and need to relax. You should probably see a doctor though, just to eliminate any possibility of a physical problem. If you still are having issues...you may not be ready emotionally to cope with loosing your virginity.

Answer 5

1) Maybe you just aren't emotionally ready

2) What exactly is going wrong? Is it too dry or is it the hymen? If lubriciation is an issue, try KY. If it's your hymen, YES! See the doctor.

3) Get protection. Before you try sex, get on the pill for a month AND use protection.

Answer 6

Listen, if he loves you and you love him, he will be patient with you. He will go with your flow of things. If this is your first love, you may just be very nervous and need time to get past that. Just give it time, there may be reasons you are not ready, so you just need to listen to your body for the moment. Talk to him, like I said, if he really loves you, he will be totally understanding.

Answer 7

Try some KY-Jelly lubricant. If not go see a doctor.

Answer 8

Use baby oil!It's the best lubricant.It works great.Better than KY jelly.

Answer 9

don't worry about it. You are trying too hard, RELAX and just have a good time, don't set goals.

Answer 10

Try lubricant.... try inserting something else *ie finger...or other instead* it is gonna hurt tho.. he has to break the hymen... if nothing works... try going to your dr... maybe its something else....