What to do with a bitchy sister-in-law?

Question

All these while my sister-in-law and I had a good relationship but it turned sour when she found out my husband had an affair with another woman. Nowadays, she passed sarcastic remarks to me and my husband and tried to turn other relatives against us by telling them things which are not true. She told me she looked down upon my husband for having an affair (which ended 8 months ago) and me for having such a husband and taking him back. She told me that she has lost her respect for him and no matter what he says or do to, she will have negative thoughts about him. Before she found out about the affair, my sister-in-law and my husband also enjoy a good relationship.

Does she have the right to be so bitchy and hateful? I feeled so hurt by her remarks. My husband has never said anything hurtful to her before and in fact, since the affair was found out, he has regretted it deeply and tried to be even much nicer to everybody.

She was a divorcee with a son before she married my only brother 4 years ago. Her first husband cheated on her and she divorced him, took her son away and refused visitation rights for the ex-husband.

Answer 1

she's obviously so jealous that you and your husband could share a love so deep that it could overcome infidelity....what your husband did and your consequent reactions should not be of any issue to her....i suggest a third party intervention...a parent or some other respected family member to let her know that you do not appreciate the things she says.

Answer 2

I'm sure there is a rational reason behind why she's doing this, and i think it has something to do with her upbringing in her family or the way she was taught when she was a kid. Or maybe she came form a broken family with an unfaithful father. The mental image of an unfaithful hubby probably brings back bad memories or trigger off an uncontrolled emotional distress.

Try recalling before all this that had happen, you mentioned that both you and your hubby enjoyed a cordial relationship with her. So i guess like i mentioned above, she must have a valid reason for being so unreasonable, try finding out why first through her friends or close kins.

Don't listen to others about ditching your hubby, i believe he has learned his lessons well. In fact, there's no such thing as right or wrong in a relationship, remember "It takes two hands to clap".

Both of you should treasure what you have in the present and let bygones be bygones. What's important is the future ahead, and start learning the importance of "Us" and not "You" or "I".

Take a second honeymoon again to relinquish those lovely moments, remember how you two met each other and how fate have brought you together in world of more than 10 billion people. Take up a hobby together like sailing, golfing, hiking, pottery, backpacking or even gardening. Build up confidence together, ignore the others, they are merely bystanders. Most importantly, be happy together, in this world where there are simply too many hypocrites that build happiness on the sufferings of others, both of you must unite and be strong.

The road to a happy marriage is through mutual understanding, plenty of patience, being accommodating and trust.

Answer 3

Ignore her. You have a life [hopefully] and she has one, just make sure they dont collide so often. Other than that try being her friend, frinedly approaches and conversations with care usually shows...well that you care. Oh, confront her if you dare. Thats the best way to deal with the rebellious types. Good luck and I'm sure shes just a little skeptical about her sister having a husband- someone that could possibly take her place.

Answer 4

Stop letting it bother you, you are giving her power over you and your emotions. It does not matter what she says or thinks if you do not appear to be the least affected by it. It will take the wind out of her sails and you will feel better (tell yourself she is a "nut").

Also ask yourself: what is it in for her to be destructive. She is putting you and your husband down; maybe she has to put someone down so she can feel superior.

Answer 5

I think she cares about you. She had a good relationship with you so she's telling you to not trust your husband like you used to because he had affair with some other woman.

Answer 6

Sister-in-law needs to stay out of it,If you can forgive and forget good luck because most can't do that and the marriage doesn't work out the though just keeps eating at you and the trust is not there.

Answer 7

Sit her down and tell her what you will and will not tolerate. No more sarcastic remarks. And no more talking about him to the family. If she persists, invite her out of your home or leave the area where she is.

What your husband did is none of her business. It is between you and him. She needs to keep out of it.

Answer 8

Maybe she is jealous that your husband didnt get into her pants and had some else instead she has to be told of the damage she is doing and ask her if she is jealous she will shut up then.

Answer 9

do no longer ask for forgiveness and don't EVER suck as much as her, in simple terms habit your self consequently... She's no longer properly worth humiliating your self for and he or she for sure needs to study some human social skills. Sounds to me such as you dealt with being an person somewhat plenty extra effective than her, so i could say you're doing an excellent pastime of dealing with the Queen of the Harpies. i could spend extra potential sympathizing with my brother's sufferings, haha!

Answer 10

Sure, she has the right to be hateful, and you and your husband have the right to exclude her from your lives.
Cut her off. And make sure she knows why.
Her opinion on your marriage and your choices is not even worthy of noting. Move on.