How should I tell my four daughters that their mother (my wife) was a mail-order bride?

Answer 1

Go ahead, see how much they respect you afterwards.

Answer 2

I've never thought about this scenario! I'm not sure that this is something that necessarily needs to be "broken" to the kids. If you'd feel better getting it off your chest, then, (if it were ME) I'd wait until they were older,.. high school or later.

If they ask and are persistent,.. ("Daddy how did you & Mommy meet?"); is there any way that you can pick up at a point after the "arrangement"? Then you can elaborate on other "circumstantial details".

If your marriage sticks and you're able to avoid the issue until they ARE older, then they will give more creedence to the success than its beginnings,... I'd think.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I have to wonder why you would tell them. If they are asking how mommy and daddy met, say something vague like, "We were both at a point in our lives when we wanted a serious relationship and fate brought us together."

I supposed depending on their ages, you could be honest, but I would think you would need to be very sensitive in how you frame it. In the end, it doesn't matter how you met; it matters that you have four wonderful daughters together that you both truly love. I am assuming that is the case.

Answer 4

It depends on how old they are. If they are little, say something like, "Mommy was so pretty, she got to be in a magazine. Daddy helped her come to the United States so that she could have a better life.

If they are older, tell them the situation and be honest. Don't focus on "buying" her. Focus on what kind of life you saved her from, and explain that your love is real.

Answer 5

I have four daughters, too. I admire you for having it on your heart to tell them, but I believe mom should be there as well. You may begin with something like "I need to talk to you about a family matter. . . " or "It's been on my heart to tell you . . ." or "You know your mom and I love you all and we feel it important to let you know . . . " I think you will be surprised if they have an inkling that its so. If this marriage is recent, I think it may need a Plan B. But, at present I will have deliberate on that later. Like citenzenship and inherentance.

Answer 6

I would say it depends on how old they are. I think it's important it's important that they know at some point..when they are old enough to process that kind of heavy information. Are you still with the woman? I think it's important that she be part of the disclosure..she is their mom. If she's in the picture it would be important if it came from her..in her voice or point of view. You might want to ask yourself what you want to accomplish in sharing this information. Think about what your goal is.

I would say this is very important in that every child wonders who their parents are, where they came from, what is their cultural heritage, what was their parents' goals and aspirations for them.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

The truth is that if she has been a good wife, mother, and makes your family happy, why tell if it isn't necessary. It really shouldest be a problem unless Daddy has problem. God Bless !!

Answer 8

you only have them because she suffered to bring them into this world-or do you think you ordered them too? just say you wrote to one another as pen pals, and if you do tell them remember to add that you couldn't find a female here on your own merits-I always, always knew that men with foreign wives- looked down on them, thanks for confirming it.

Answer 9

dont- it would just shake them up knowing dad had to get a woman that way and mom was for sale..some things are best unsaid

Answer 10

why would they even need to know this???? it doesn't mean that she is no longer their mother.if you do this i think your putting your wife down to some extent.let sleeping dogs lie