My 3 year old daugther bites my son on his back all the time. She leaves big bruises on his back. I have tried everything to get her to stop. I have taken things, spanked, and put her in time out what else can I do?
2007-03-05 12:00:30 · 19 answers · asked by Mary 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
DEFINITLY BITE HIM/HER BACK!!!!! IT WORKS
2007-03-05 14:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is she biting him?
Is it because she is mad at him? Jealous? Or just being mean?
If she is mad at him then you need to focus on what she should do to get the solution she wants. If she has a problem she needs to know exactly what steps to take and make sure that you give her the attention she is asking for when she comes to you. Don't dismiss her and tell her to stop whining or deal with it because then she'll bite. Use this time to redirect her or solve the problem and then praise her for using her words.
How is her language skills? Many times children that cannot express themselves verbally will bite to get the results they want.
Make sure you tell her exactly what to say. If she has a plan then she has no reason to bite.
If she is just biting to be mean then you need to be sure that she is not getting any negative attention. Make sure that you remove her from the situation and put her in time out away from the family and not in her room where she has all the fun in the world. The attention needs to stay on the person that was bit not the biter. The talking and disciplining can come later after every thing has calmed down. She will have no idea what is going on with you and your son because she will be in a designated time out spot. You can pick her up and say firmly, "You have a time out. We do not bite." I would leave her there longer than the recommended 3 minutes personally. Biting is unacceptable.
You can try spanking after the fact too. At 3 they remember what they have done earlier. If you talk about it after dinner and then say, "I think that you deserve a spanking for biting your brother earlier" she is going to be more upset and shocked. It will stick with her. Getting a spanking when the adrenaline is pumping is no big deal...when everyone is calm is awful!
How old is her brother? If he is younger pretty soon he'll bite back and that will probably be the answer.
Good Luck. SD
2007-03-05 12:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by SD 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all go to the root of the problem. Why is she biting? Is she cutting teeth, is she jealous, is this the only way she gets attention? Then, try to resolve these issues. I don't believe in biting back. Two wrongs do not make a right. I think that you should follow some of the other advice you have recieved. If she has bitten your son, tell her no that biting hurts. Then ignore her and focus the attention on your son. Afterwards ask her why she is biting, should she have done this and what can she do to make it better. If it is jealously, try spending special time with her. Set aside a time each day where it is just mommy daughter time. Do something she likes to do. If she happens to bite that daybefore special time tell her that you are very sad, follow the above advice then procede to spend special time with her and your son together, not just you and her. Good luck!!
2007-03-05 13:12:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter did this. Each time she bit, whoever she bit would "bite" her back. Not hard!!! Just enough to know it's not nice. It only took about 4 days (less each day) for her to realize when she hurts someone it's hurting her back and it broke her of it. My daughter was only around 18m at the time so the rewards system I now use (she's 3yo) didn't work.
Also, I've recently started a Positive Reward system that seems to be working very well. My daughter and I made a chart with her name and decorations on it and it hangs on our wall at her level. For doing things well, she's rewarded with a sticker. I bought a book of stickers, she gets to pick her own out and put it on the chart herself. As a reward for a full chart, she knows she'll get a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Perhaps something like that would work also?
I should also make it clear that she's only ever with family. I'm a SAHM (hubby works) and the only others she's ever around are my parents, husband's parents, or aunts/cousins. We're close. It's not a daycare/babysitter situation.
2007-03-05 12:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy of 2 Girls 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I actually bit my son back, on his fingers, it didn't matter where he bit me, but when he did bite me or when he bit someone else I bit his fingers. Of course you would not want to draw blood or anything but just hard enough for them to see what it feels like. Although many may disagree with this I am sick and tired of the time out crap and such that doesn't work. Remember the old saying "for every action there is a re-action?" Consequence, there must be some for bad behavior.
2007-03-05 13:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by <}}}>< 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow... by 3, she should be finished with this stage! Truthfully, if time outs, spankings, and taking her toys haven't worked - bite her back next time. NOT hard enough to leave a mark, just hard enough for her to see how much it hurts when she bites others. It worked for both of my daughters and my granddaughter!
2007-03-06 07:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the advice I got from my Parents as Teachers counselor.
When he bites another child focus ALL your attention on the victim, turn your back to "the biter" and make a big fuss about the "booboo." Do the same thing when he bites you. Put him down, turn your back, and focus all the attention on yourself and the booboo. You don't have to call him "bad" or anything, just let him see he's not getting attention for biting.
My daughter would bite me when she was excited. I tried this trick once or twice and she stopped.
2007-03-05 12:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Now I know it's hard to explain to a 3 year old that he's not a doggy, but giving him a time out or taking a toy away and being consitant will hopefully change the behaviour!
Good Luck
P.S. Try biting him back and see how he likes it!!! lol j/k sometimes I get a little sense of humor
2007-03-05 12:05:22 · answer #8 · answered by α∂νєηтυяє ιѕ нєяє 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I know it sounds cruel the only way you are going to break her is to bite her back...my daughter used to do the same thing...she bit her little friend on the back ...the poor child had to go to the doctor...I did not know what else to do...it wasn't the first time she bit someone....I hated to do it but I had too....I did not bite her hard but I bit her a little....she stopped biting....you have tried everything else....now her child does it.....I don't know where they pick up these bad habits...but they do....
2007-03-05 12:11:05 · answer #9 · answered by simplesimon 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Make sure she is getting the attention she needs from you and your spouse.
Spend quality time with her and don't ignore her when playing all together.
Then if you are already doing that and she is biting then use Cayenne pepper (powder). A little dab each time on the tongue.
2007-03-05 13:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's jealous! Are you spending special time with just her? Having her help take care of him? Just a half hour a day with her, letting her choose the activity with you and you alone will make a huge difference. Good luck!
2007-03-05 12:04:09 · answer #11 · answered by JenJen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋