I am a high school math teacher and a student of mine has come to confede in me. Her mother was diagnosed 2 years ago with renal cancer. This week she has gotten worse. I want to be able to help my student as much as possible but I am having a hard time with something to say. If this was my own relative or friend, we'd go out somewhere shopping or just somewhere to get her mind off of it a little but I can't take students anywhere. I also can't hug her. Her best friend keeps asking me what to do also. This girl doens't want to talk to guidance because she isn't comfortable with them. Help!! She is a sophomore, and the oldest of 4 children.
2007-03-05 11:46:05 · 11 answers · asked by soxnut726 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
My fiance is a nurse and from the details I have told him, it doesn't sound like her mother is going to make it much more than another month.
2007-03-05 12:04:11 · update #1
Wow, that's really nice that you care about her.
In the 7th grade there were a few kids that had parents with cancer or drug problems also, and the teacher sent the kids home with notes for their parents to sign in order to give them permission to go out for coffee with her.
Maybe, instead of taking her somewhere as a teacher, you could as a friend? Obviously if she came to you first about it then she respects you, so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable or anything if you took her somewhere.
If that doesn't work, tell her friend to take her somewhere or whatever you had planned. Researching cancer also may help you realise what she's going through and what you can do to help.
But other then that, I can't think of anything. Sorry but I hope she'll be okay. ;)
2007-03-05 11:52:59 · answer #1 · answered by antonios mama ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what you need to do is go visit her Mom and find out if they need anything. ALSo ask her if you can be her daughter's mentor while she going thru this, so you can help her get along. ALso ask if it's ok to make a benfit for her, because she will need lots of money, too. ALso you can go talk to the churches around and have them donate stuff to them. But most of all go there and talk to the whole family. ALso as long as you get permission from the Mother you should be able to take the kids out for a nice time and ahve a nice talk with them see how they are handling it. But becarefull because she might feel bad and not want to talk.
2007-03-05 20:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is be there for her. I have been a Hospice nurdsr in the past, and frrequently was asked...what do I say? Speaking isn't necessary...being there for her, is comforting. Let her know she can say anything to you. SHe can express fear, anger, regrets, depression...anything and you will hear her out. It's a shame that in today's world, a comforting hug is taken as sexual perversion...I'm a hugger, and I hugged all my cancer patient's families...but then I was a nurse, and they accepted that from me...often initiated it. When you are sincere, as you seem to be, she will recognize this and come to you. Good luck my friend...there is a bumpy road up ahead.
2007-03-05 19:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by bflogal77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your principle about getting permission to hug her. Explain the situation and tell them that she needs some personal attention. The best thing you can do is just to listen. All you can do is express how sorry you are, and see if there is anything you can do for the family. Sometimes just being there to listen is enough for someone. I would talk to someone higher up then you and ask what they will allow you to do for her. Maybe knowing the situation will allow you to help more.
2007-03-05 19:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by odd duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listen to her when she needs to talk. Tell her friend to ask her parents if they can take dinner over to the family 1-2 nights a week to help them out. Maybe get some of her other teachers together and put together a care package for the family with frozen meals, or maybe you could all get together and go to one of those "Dinner's Ready" type places and fix meals for them that they can freeze and just re-heat.
2007-03-05 19:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a sophomore too, and my dad just got over his cancer. I think the best thing you, and her friend, can do is listen. All i wanted was someone to talk to, then when i was done crying and into hysterical cry mode i just wanted someone to sit with me and not ask any more questions. I hope she's ok.
2007-03-05 19:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by Twilight Lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can call her parents to check on things and let them know your concern.
Just be concerned, be there. She must like you enough to trust this to you.
Maybe someone from a local support group would come in and talk to her during a class she could miss. It would be nice if you three could have lunch together.
2007-03-05 19:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her..that's about all you can do. She confided in you, so she's looking for some guidance so just be there for her to talk to. Talk about her faith if she has any,family, life in general. And if she doesn't want to talk to guidance maybe you should and see what advice they might have. Maybe they have some ideas on how to handle the situation.
2007-03-05 19:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by G=ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get that my chemical romance new CD ''welcome to the black parade'' it has a really kool song on there that talks about cancer. it helped a lot of people to deal with it.
2007-03-05 19:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by RockergurlSoS! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to talk to her whenever she needs help. let her know that you will do anything to help her and the pain that she might be going through with her mom.
2007-03-05 20:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋