Im not depressed but i wanna kill myself, why?

Question

looking back now i was very foolish when i was small
i always messed around f.u.c.ked around and didnt care at all
now i am in my last year of highschool
and im thinking to myself i am such a fool
there are so many things i wanna change
my life seem so messed up and i dont know how to rearrange
recently i been thinking of finishing off myself
i wished my life was happy and jolly like a little elf
but the thing is im not even depressed
looking at my life i seem to have no success
i would really murder myself if not for the ones i truly care
i hate to see them miserable and sad this i cannot bear
i just want to see where i end up when i die
i could become back a human...or maybe a fly
i want to know if god really exist and what the universe has to offer
sometimes i wish life was a game and all is good with a laughter
i really dont feel afraid of how i feel
deep inside me i truly feel this is right, but still
ima give this some more thought
i am at the end of my plot...

Answer 1

ok, no offense, but is this supposed to be serious? you turned the whole thing into a doctor seusse rhyme, the words rhyme with each other, was that deliberate?

Answer 2

Actually, even if you don't feel, "sad" as such, you still may be depressed.

One of the many symptoms of depression can be what is called, "anhedonia" where you just don't enjoy anything, and even though you might not feel sad as such, your ability to enjoy anything might be affected.

However, it does seem possible that if there is depression, your own state of mind over your previous actions is coming back to haunt you.

If you're grades aren't the best, you can still go to college (assuming you are in America and not England where the system is totally differnet), you probably won't be able to go to any prestigious schools, but you could easily qualify for one of the land-grant style public universities, where you could get a good education and still come out able to get a good job and secure a good future for yourself.

Your only in high-school, you really do have the rest of your life ahead of you, and BTW please go to a good psychiatrist and get yourself evalutated for possible depression and other issues that might be getting in the way.

Answer 3

Personal you have no reason at all to be miserable I have been in the exact same position as you but wat I was going through was way worst. Life is not easy and it is not suppose to be life is rough and we have to deal with it killing youself is forever there is no turning back once you do it and things in your life could change around if you do that then you are gonna be hurting everyone that loves you so before ask yourself do you really want to do this?

Answer 4

Sounds like you're not just having suicidal thinking, but depressive thoughts as well. Talk to someone offline! That's my advice to you.

Answer 5

ill tell u why, life sucks!