What is a nice way to tell a guy that you really want to get to know him, but with his demanding job it is going to be hard for him to get to know you or anybody else for that matter. He told me that he understands that his job is demanding, but working the way he does helped him go from entry level to division manager in 5 years so he sees a gain in his work ethic. I want to get to know him because I feel he has a lot to offer, but I don't him well enough to ask him to do anything different then what he is already doing since his work ethic has already cost him one relationship. He understands that his job can be hard on a women, but I don't think he really knows how hard so I am asking what are some things that I can point out when it comes to telling him how hard without sounding like a nag or sounding like I want him to change? I don't want him to change I just want him to alter a few things just a little bit.
2007-03-05 11:05:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am only asking again because I never said anything from the first time I asked.
2007-03-05 11:13:25 · update #1
Well your going to have to understand that due to his job he cant be there like you want him to be. You just need to tell him that you are very interested in getting to him better and you feel that he has a lot offer and that you understand how demanding his job can be. Alter and change is the same thing. It sounds like you wont be able to handle him because of his job. Maybe you should just look elsewhere. Trust me he KNOWS how hard his job can be on women that he dates. You either take him and his demanding job or just find someone else.
2007-03-05 11:12:26 · answer #1 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the patience and time - start out slow - lunch if possible. Then if that is not doable then try dinner - sometime in the day or evening the man has to eat. He has to take a break. Working is not all there is in life. It has cost him a relationship because both parties where not willing to work at it. So if you really want to get to know him, patience and alot of hard work is in your present. Second side of this: maybe he does not want a relationship and this is his excuse. So sound him out on lunch/dinner and take it from there. Too many excuses from him and you will need to just cut and leave. Because then that is what your future will be like - work, work and more work for him because he does not want to miss the next position advance or the next anything...... In a way you are asking him to change - to include you that is a change. Good Luck.
2007-03-05 11:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by Feline05 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you see where his priorities are and that isn't to get to know you if it interfers with his work!! If you did get to know him over the time it takes, he would always show his loyalty to his work and not you or anyone else for that fact!! If you ended up with him in the future and you got tired of his lack of attention and affection toward you or your family, then he would blow up and say you just don't understand or care about what he is going through and all that hoopla they all say!!! Then you will cower down and try to see where you messed up and how you should be a better person and mor thoughtful to him, then you would get tired of being someone you arren't and try to talk to him again and he would blow up again and that is when the abuse starts!!! Trust me, it isn't worth it if his loyalty is to others then his intimate relationships!!! Always look for a guy that understands that in life, God comes first above all things then the spouce, then the job and the kids!!! You as a woman should believe the same thing, God first, spouce next, then job and kids and you will be a lot happier in life!!! I finally changed my views and know for a fact that is that way to be happy!!! I was a maniac before!!!
2007-03-05 11:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by kirk o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this doesn´t sound harsh but I think its to soon to ask for anything. If you really like him just try the relationship and then if you are unhappy say something. He might like being with you so much that he makes the decision to cut back on work. Also, look at it this way better to be with someone who is hard working than being with someone who doesn´t have a job and wants to live off of you.
2007-03-05 11:15:12 · answer #4 · answered by Adelaide V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but mature relationships take time to grow. He's letting you know up front what his limitations are and what he's looking for in a relationship. Now you either have to deal with it or leave him alone. Plenty of people get there feelings hurt cause they pursue something that really wasn't there in the first place. If he is as driven about work as he would be his potential woman (mate). Sounds like he's not ready for you and your not ready for him. When a man's really feeling you there's no limitations to what he'd do.
2007-03-05 11:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by Nisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to "alter" a few things, then you do want him to change.
Doesn't sound like the two of you are right for each other, stop trying to force the relationship. That and you need to stop trying to change men since it doesn't work.
2007-03-05 11:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're going to have to express yourself someway... you are going to have to use words to tell him that you need to see him more, or that you feel ignored... those words will come... in time, make sure they are expressed in a manner that is kind, gentle, passionate, and well timed, to avoid him being stressed out, you alone must feel for this time, don't ask him,"hey is it alright if i talk to you about something" cause most likely he will feel like he need to deal with the issue even thought it may not be a good time, so it would seem like he is ok to talk but then blows up at you during the talk, and then you will most likely say i thought you would be alright to talk... bring it up, be firm, and introduce it so that you can see how he reacts to it...
well i was alittle confused about what exactly you wanted to have answered... this may not be the right answer or the most insightfull... but good luck, pray about it...
-Todd
2007-03-05 11:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by todd w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this now your third question on the subject? And you don't want to sound like a nag? kind of ironic isn't it?
2007-03-05 11:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once u start trying to change a man or they're way of living u are on the way to loseing them....
2007-03-05 11:27:50 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ya like em well then say hello to them and tell them your name and about you and he will do just that too
2007-03-05 11:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋