This happened on Tuesday… She called and said her school work is piling up, her family life is bad, she's got college ahead of her (graduating a year early), the ACT's, and she has a pap exam coming up that will determine if her HPV has cleared up or not. (It’s all the truth…I know she’s not lying) She said she’s having a crisis right now and doesn’t know what to do. She told me that she needs to take a break and get her life sorted out before she can have any sort of serious relationship. She told me it's nothing I did but it's everything going on in her life right now. That she really likes me and doesn't want to do it, but felt like she had to. She wants to try and do it single. She then said that after her stuff is sorted out, then she can think about a relationship again. Then she said she had to get off the phone to go do something, but to call her back later if I want. She'd understand if I didn't want to.
I told her I understand where she's coming from and everything, but I'm completely bummed out. I later called her back because she wanted me to do and we talked for a little bit but I was really quiet. I told her that I’m still here to talk if you want in the future. She said okay and about 5 minutes later she had to go do some homework. She then said “I’ll talk to you tomorrow if you want”…and I haven’t talked to her since Tuesday.
Should I continue going no contact or should I talk to her? I want to help her through her problems but I also don’t want it to hinder a future relationship. Maybe no contact is the best option? It’s just so tough. I don’t know if she still wants me to be there for her for support or not.
I mean, she still likes me…but she’s so busy right now.
Btw...it's been 2 months.
Also...she has had a terrible past. She was raped, got pregnant before by her ex bf and he beat her until she had a miscarriage, did drugs, alcohol, all that...I told her that I'd still be there for her and accept her for who she is now...which is a great person. She told me I was the greatest guy in the world for that.
I think she still has feelings for me, but she really just needs to get some stuff in her life done. I'm not sure if I should still be there for her or not for the time being.
2007-03-05 11:02:25 · 4 answers · asked by Clarence J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Best thing you can do is go no contact and let her call you. I'm in a very similar situation and that's what I'm doing. I get urges to call her, but then I remember how much it could set us back.
2007-03-06 03:28:34 · answer #1 · answered by Brian K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give her the time she's asking for. She's obviously had a rough time of it, and now she's really trying to get her life on a track of success. If she needs to focus on school and her future, out of love, you should let her.
She may not have decided whether she can handle having you around all the time. I'd continue to say hi every once in a while, but not nearly as often as when you dated. It takes courage for someone to ask someone they care about for space, so you should respect that as a strength in her. Let her make the decision as to how much time she can spend with you right now. She may feel that if she talks to you all the time, it will be too much of a distraction. Let her get things in order more, and things will be fine.
Many great couples have taken a break or two because one or the other needed to get things worked out. Just be patient.
2007-03-05 11:12:04 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is ask her seriously (and tell her you need an honest answer putting your feelings aside)if she would still like to continue being friends with you or if you are just in the way for the time being-tell her you want to be there for her but don't want to be a nuisance to her either-what ever she says just try to understand that she does have a lot of issues and things happening in her life all at once and maybe she doesn't want to hold you back thinking this would really strain your relationship-the only thing is she is the only one that you really need to talk to about this situation because obviously she is the only one who know why she wants what she wants so your best bet would be just to talk to her about it-
2007-03-05 11:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by ang925 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just keep in contact with her but go on with your life in the process if it's meant to be you will be together in the future
2007-03-05 11:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by Juliaysha247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋