Responsibilities While on Maternity Leave?

Question

I am 36 wks and after I have my baby I will be on paid maternity leave for 6 wks and then unpaid for 6 wks. My question is, since my boyfriend is going to be the one "working" for those 12 wks am I obligated to take care of ALL baby and home responsibilities?? ( I am not unreasonable but I think he has the idea that he will have to do NOTHING for those 12 wks)

Answer 1

For those 12 weeks you are responsible for recovering from growing a human inside you and getting them out into the real world. Your boyfriend should be responsible for making sure that your are comfortable and able to rest when you need to. If he complains about it then tell him nextime he can grow the person inside of his body and you'll "work"!

Seriously at first you are going to need help taking care of the baby and your home...once you get into a routine it won't be so bad. I know with my husband and I we alternated the 3 am feeding and when he got home from work he would take over with the baby so I could do stuff like shower and have a bit of time for myself.

Parenting like everything is a partnership. You shouldn't be expected to take on all the responsibilities just because you are on maternity leave.

Answer 2

Honey, during the first month or so, all you will have time for is the baby. And if your birth is rough, you wont be able to get around very well to clean even IF you had the time. Your job of taking care of the baby and healing up is 24/7. Your boyfriend works what.. 8 hours a day? He has time to help, and should, for the sake of your sanity and health. If you can, have another woman like your mom, his mom, sister, somebody, come and stay with you for a while. You may hate the idea now, but you will be grateful for that help later. Also, you have no idea if you will experience post partum depression, making it hard and DANGEROUS for you to take all that responsibility. You need to have a talk with him. Hopefully, when reality hits, he will step up.

Answer 3

I am so glad you are asking this question instead of assuming that it is what you should do because of the situation.

I quite literally drove myself nuts the first 3 weeks I was off. I took care of our daughter during the day because he was at work. I took care of her at night because he needed his sleep to go to work. The entire time my husband kept trying to help me but I wouldn't let him because if I was going to stay at home I had to handle it all. I ended up at one point sleeping 4 hours total for an entire 4 day period. That is when my husband took a day off grounded me to bed and cleaned the entire house.

There is no way you can do it on your own. If he is unable to help you (notice I didn't say unwilling) then other arrangements need to be made. Such as a friend, family member, or hire a maid to come in 3 or 4 times while you are on leave. It really isn't that expensive and worth it. Don't try to be Super Woman and don't let him try and make you. The ONLY thing you have to do is take care of the baby. So what if the carpet doesn't get vacuumed for a few days. It can wait until he can help out.

Answer 4

I suggest splitting the baby duties, at the absolute very least! The house there are things he can be responsible for like collecting and talking out the trash, or drying dishes while you wash. He should share because eventually you will be going back to work and will require his help anyway, so what is the point of getting out of routine for a few weeks.

Daddy should appreciate the bonding time with baby in the evening...but that is only my opinion. Not to mention it will give you the recharge time to keep the house in order when needed.

Answer 5

You need to talk to him or have a friend talk in front of him about how much time you will need to recover and how much care a baby requires because you are going to need some time to heal and some time to just get into a routine and take care of the baby. Waking up every 3 hours to feed is going to drain your energy along with the crying and feeling like all you do is change diapers. lol.. enjoy it.. but to make it easier i would definately recommend letting him go to a doctors appointment where your doc will be discussing how you will be affected after the baby is born.. and talk to him.. set up a chore list before hand... you shouldn't be lifting heavy items for awhile so let him be in charge of garbage and laundry and sweeping (definateley sweeping and vacuuming) and let him know that if you happen to have a csection you will have to be even more careful and for a longer period of time.

Answer 6

I feel for both of you. As far as him getting off scott free, forget about it!!!! He helped create your child (it takes two to tango!!!) he can help you take care of your baby too. You won't feel up to doing much besides what you have to do anyway, giving birth and taking care of a newborn is A LOT of work, so if he expects you to take care of the laundry and housework all by yourself, he has another thing coming. Being a mother is also work, you just don't get paid for it!!

Answer 7

Then he is mistaken...your main concern wil be taking care of the baby...and getting your sleep when baby is sleeping. Your BF should be helping out as much as he can...liek helping with groceries...housework, and laundry. Because for the first few weeks you won't have time for all of those things...till baby gets into a routine.

Answer 8

I did it all, my ex never did anything. Nor did he work. But i saved up the whole time i was pregnant so that I had money while I was off, and paid my bills ahead.

Answer 9

LOL-
You will not be able to physically/mentally take care of ALL home responsibilities.
You will not have time.

He will have to help.

Answer 10

Your priority is that baby and he needs to undersand that. You'll do what you can I'm sure but he will still have to help big time.