I have a great boyfriend who I've been dating for almost 6 months. We think we love each other and we both want the relationship to last. He has many obligations and doesn't have much time to go on dates. We were friends before we started dating, so I know he has always been this busy. I knew that it was going to be like this from the moment he asked me out, but I never could've predicted that I would care so much about him. At first, he didn't seem to feel bad about not taking me out, but as our relationship has grown he has begun to feel worse,for which I blame myself. Sometimes, I get a little pushy and angry w/ him when he can't take me out, after which I feel horrible. This is partly because he and his exgirlfriend broke up because of the amount she complained about his schedule. I don't want to treat him the same way she did. What I need advice on is how to make myself feel better about the situation. I need to make it more managable because I want to stay with him.
2007-03-05 10:53:06 · 6 answers · asked by srgirl6391 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you've already answered me, thanks. Just don't answer again.
2007-03-05 10:53:37 · update #1
Breaking up is not an option. It would break both of our hearts.
2007-03-05 10:54:22 · update #2
I guess what i need is a way to distract myself.
2007-03-05 11:00:31 · update #3
You obviously are very fond of your boyfriend and knew him well before you became a couple.
What I would do is find extra interests for myself so that I too have various things to enjoy apart from my boyfriend. Then, when you are together, you have even more to discuss and share.
Separately busy people can have good quality relationships, as long as their time is well balanced.
As well though, you have to work together, and that does not mean you putting all the effort in. Your boyfriend is aware he has other obligations, and needs to be a little more tolerant of his partner if at times she is needing to spend a little more time with him. After all, it's a big compliment to him that your feelings have grown.
If you feel in any relationship you are not being treated the way you would like to be treated, you should talk to your partner about your feelings. If he really cares, he will listen, understand and you can perhaps come to some sort of compromise.
You both have to work hard at relationships.
2007-03-05 11:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well and try and schedule it so that you guys can spend time with each other whiel u both do work. i don't know your bancgrounds--but if you are both studying--study together. it may not necessarily be a 'date' in the form of going out, but u can still do cute things together--even if it is cookign together at home or watching a movie at home. cherish the good moments you guys CAN share rather than focusing on the time that you DO not share.
although i am not sayign u shouldn't go out on dates--6 months is pretty long and at that point, esp if u've been friends before--the need for 'dates' per se is less, and the ability to just spend tiem together, even if it's grocery shopping together, is usually more appreciated than it is in the beginning.
little things can help--try to think of ways that u guys can spend time doing even little things together--this way u incorporate boht of ur busy schedules and STILL get to see each other without cutting out anything.
hope it helps!
2007-03-05 19:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by deepti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the fact is, either he has to shove some stuff off of his platesince it is too full in order to make time for you. If he cannot do that, YOU will have to take what you can get when you can get it.You will have to be patient until his schedule is not so loaded.The only other option is that you both postpone your relationship until he is free to date.You can still keep in touch as much as possible.You cannot have the impossible, so you will have to settle for the possible.Be big girl now.
2007-03-05 19:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just something that you are going to have to deal with. You should be happy that you have a man that is all about business and no games. It sounds like he works alot or something to do with a job and if that's the case you can't be mad at him for trying to better himself. I say find a new hooby to do to keep your mind ocupied or something other than that there is not much to be said. You said so yourself that you knew all about his schedule before getting involved with him. Good luck
2007-03-05 19:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is that you'll have to decide if you can handle his schedule or not. Although you may want to be with him more often, if he can't or won't devote more time to you, you have to decide if what he will give you is enough or move on. If you want to stay with him, you should find other things to do in the time that you're apart so you don't dwell on the fact that he's not there. Good luck!
2007-03-05 18:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to go out and blow money? Plan something special for him, at his house or your house. Have romantic evenings IN! Like he wants. Make him dinner, rent movies, cuddle, play board games. Whatever. It shouldn't matter where you are or what you do, just that you're having fun, and spending that time together. If you're big on eating out, order in!!
2007-03-05 18:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mandy B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋