abusive father....?

Question

i live with my father and he is the most short tempered defensive person ive ever met, i do nothing and i have my head bitten of me he smashes things screams and shouts if i so much ask a simple question like who lives there i cant say it to him or he would go mad and smash things, he always nagges me and gives me lectures.he always gives out about my mums side of the family which i find annoying and he never has a good word to say about anyone, my mother died 4 months ago and he is finding it hard but so am i . i am so depressed i cant live like this, i really wixh i could live with my aunt but that isnt possible, i cant tell him.what will i do?im an only child and 14 btw.lyk to day he said the key to fitness is exercise and i said ok and he lost the head, ........and he wont let me be who i want to be only what he wants me to be and he always tells me what to do and how to dress etc.i love him but i cannot live like this.

Answer 1

unless he hits you... (if he does report him and live with your aunt).... wait out the 4 years and then be gone if he is still the same way..

... he might be short fused cause of your moms death and cant deal with it.

However, if he has always been like that... you'll be gone at 18.

Answer 2

I FEEL SOO BAD FOR YOU!! but you hear that enough. ok wait one or two more weeks. If it keeps going on there are alot of solutions. First you can talk about this with your aunt and see what she can do to help you. Second, you have access to the computer so maybe you look up yellow pages and find any abusive centers and get help. Third which could be another good option is maybe you can go to your school consular.

Answer 3

I too went through a very difficult period when I was your age. My parent's marriage fell apart due to mental illness. Shortly after I turned 14 and started high school my mother left my father, and I had to live back and forth between the 2 homes. During this time I discovered that my mother had severe mental problems, Borderline personality disorder, bordering on multiple personality disorder. She was also an acholic. She would be passed out a low when I came home from school. Sometimes she would scream things that didn't make sense, and hit me. My father was on a medication that we now know made him extremely paranoid, that couples with the stress of the divorce made him crazy in a way that's similar to what you're going through. When he came home from school he would scream things like "I know what you're trying to do to me! I know!" If I asked him what he thought I was trying to do, he's laugh and say "Oh no, you want me to play your little game! I'm not going to fall for it!" He's run around the house saying things like that. He'd kick me out a lot, and usually say I had 10 minutes to pack a bag and get out or he was going to throw me off the porch with nothing but the clothes on my back. I lived out of a suitcase for most of my high school years. Even on his good days he would freak out and yell over nothing. Once I asked him not to put my laundy in with his because I had to hand wash some things, and he started yelling at the top of his lungs. I didn't tell anyone because I wanted to avoid the foster care system. I knew kids in similar situations who had done so and had ended up in worse situations. When I turned 18, I had to call the police to help me move out, because he threatened to lock me in my bedroom and take away the phone.

Please email me, I'll do whatever I can to help you get through this.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness this is not healthy for you(like u dont know that already). Maybe you should tell a adult to talk to him so u arent the one suffering his decisions. I think maybe you should stress to your aunt that it is impossible for u to live with him right now. I think you need to tell your problem to someone other than internetters maybe tell a teacher or a school counsler who can maybe help you both resolve your issues with you mothers death, and than maybe they will see how yur treated and appoint your aunt your guardian. But I also think yu are going to have to talk to your dad, Maybe you should write him a letter with how you are feeling about how he is treating you and how you both need eachother more than ever now with your mums passing and all. good luck if you ever need to chat feel free to email me!

Answer 5

First of all sorry about your mother!
That is a really touchy situation.
I think you need to be strong and have a talk with him...
If he tries to push you away , stand up for yourself.
Tell him what he is doing wrong and how you feel.
About the clothes thing he probably feels he needs to take the mothers place.
If he still persists talk to your aunt see what she might be able to do.
I think at a certain age you can choose who you want to be with.
(Guardian)
I wish you the best of luck.....
BE STRONG

Answer 6

Thats not okay to take it on you if he does this daily you need to tell someone very soon before thingd get out of hand talk to someone you can trust and try to get him some help if you can i gope thhis helped if it didnt im sorry hope things work out for you

Answer 7

You need to sit down and talk with him and tell him that he needs to listen to you and not get mad or yell. When he agrees and not until he agrees, you tell him how he is acting and if he needs to talk about your mom i bet you are willing to talk about it to, tell him he can talk to you. Then wait awhile and if you still want to go live with your aunt becuase he hasnt changed then tell him you are because it is not good for you living with him.

Answer 8

Well write a letter telling him how you feel in a very gentle way, maybe it 'll get through to him he's being overbearing, and cut you some sack, after all your only 14.

Answer 9

my father's the same way, only worse. A real asshole he is....*mine* Have u told anyone about this? ur aunt perferably? u should talk this out with her; see if u can spend a few nights over there. Get professional help, you can't fight this problem by yourself, no one can....

Answer 10

In my opinion, I don't think he hated you or hold anything against you. You have to understand you mom, the loved of his life just passed away. Maybe he feels lost and missed her. This is is and your toughest time, try to understand and be there with him. As time goes by I hope time will heal his pain and yours.