Am I too young to have a sexual relationship?

Question

Ok, so I'm 16 years old, and my boyfriend is 19.

We recently had sex for the first time (for me anyway), the next day we did it again twice (after I suggested it). I love him, and was the one to suggest it, I suggest most if not all the sexual advances made in our relationship (he says that he doesn't want to make me feel pressured). I don't regret it, but we've only been going out for just under 5 months. My friends won't give me straight answers.

Do you think I'm too young to start having a sexual relationship?

I'd like to clarify a few things.

Where I am, 14 is the legal age for sexual consent, and 16 is the legal age to have sexual relations with someone 4 years or under older than you.

I've known this guy for over three years, and we've been friends a long time, so it's not like we'e only known eachother the 5 months.

Also, protection is a huge thing and I know that, we use protection, I refuse to become another teenager knocked up because of a bad decision.

Yes, I have thought a lot about what could happen, and am well prepared for the concenquences of what may happen (as prepared as one can be anyway), and I know the risks I'm taking.

I don't want approval from my friends (or anyone else for that matter), I just want a general idea of what people might think about my situation.

Just a few things I wanted to add.

- Thanks

"it's all about thinking if you guys were to break up in the future, would you regret your decision?"

I've thought about this a lot, before and after we did it. And, I don't regret any of the things I did with my ex boyfriend (my first love), and he used me bad. I won't and don't regret what we did & are most likely going to do again sometime soon.

I know that this guy loves me, I can see it, in the way he holds me and doesn't try to get me to do anything I don't want. I once asked him if he had to choose between having sex with me, and laying with me just holding me, which he would choose. He responded with "well, I'm not gunna lie, I love the sex, but if I had to choose, I'd honestly rather lay with you". I know, that's not proof or anything, but just the way things are, I can tell.

Thanks again for all your advice and stuff. But I'd like to say that I'm a Wiccan and don't believe in God... so the biblical stuff doesn't get to me at all. Just to let you know.

- Thanks

Answer 1

oh geez...ignore stupid answers.
So what I would say to you is:
Remember to be responsible, look into and get birth control, ensure he's wearing a solid (as in no little holes in it) condom. Sex is not only pleasurable but it is for procreation, so careful careful.
Ask that he be tested so you know for a fact that he isn't carrying a virus or disease, make sure you make appointments with your doctor to have full physicals done so as to monitor any changes that may affect your sexual health.
Because you are consenting to this type of action, he won't go to jail so forget that bit.
Sex is a pretty serious step to be taking, remember that not always do we do it out of pure love for another person, men/boys in particular see it as just a way to get their 'jollies off'. But if you feel like you're ready for it be well aware of your responsibilities to yourself. If (and I'm not saying it'll happen) you two break up it'll probably be kinda hard for you, especially since this is your first. Take the precautions seriously. In this day in age you'd never know what could happen.
I was 17 my first time.
Sooner or later every young adult discovers sex and there is nothing wrong with that, it's in how you prepare yourself for it presently and in the future that will affect you the most.
Warm Wishes.

Answer 2

The choice has already been made, you've started a sexual relationship. It's time to face the fact and deal with it.
You do have to be careful because this relationship is now illegal in most states.

BE CAREFUL! Sexuality and sexual development is an individual thing, so for all I know you feel ready and are ready. However, it is my experience that the younger a person is when they start having sex, the more likely things like STDs and pregnancies are. Make sure to use protection. You also have to now make sure to have regular pelvic exams (it would be good to have one now that you have started having sex, if you don't already regularly see a gyno)

There are many issues that have to be considered when one starts having sex. I just hope you didn't jump ahead of yourself, thinking you were prepared. Sex is not just a physical, flippant thing. It is a major physical, emotional, and life altering choice. Hope you are ready... Cuz if you're not, it's too late.

Answer 3

Several people have mentioned statutory rape. This is when an adult has consentual sex with a minor. The exact definition varies from state to state. In some states, anyone over 16 is legal. In other states, someone 18 is in trouble doing it with you the day before you're 18th birthday. Some states it depends on just how old the adult is, too. So a 16-yo and 19-yo might be safe, but 16- and 22 may not be. You will want to know the laws in your state. Statutory rape is a BIG DEAL. Depending on your laws, he can go to jail plus be forever marked as having had sex with a minor. Don't mess with that! Make sure you're legal.

As for "are you too young"? Anyone is too young if they aren't ready to accept the potential consequences. That is, what will you do if you become pregnant. You have three choices:

-Keep and raise the child.
-Place the child for adoption
-Abort the fetus

You have to decide for yourself if you're willing to accept being in the position of making the decision between these 3 options. If you aren't, then you're playing with fire if you're having sex. I know at 16, I would NOT have wanted to face this choice, no way, no how.

If you feel "my life would be over if I got pregnant," then you should definitely find a different way to express your love for your guy. Be creative and have fun.

Answer 4

To have sex is a personal, totally personal decision, I dont think there's a right or wrong age, it's more important your mental age, if you feel ready, if you want to, go for it. I'm not lying to you, I do think you're too young, but that's fine, I'm telling you, if you felt it was the time, no problem. What it's incorrect is to be wondering whether you did right or not, you gotta look ahead, this is no time for regrets, besides you really liked it, you felt good, 'cause you did it twice in a row!!! haha, so now why are you wondering or regreting,

So the question here is not "I'm too young for having sex??" because regardless of the answers you'll get here (probably some of them rude), guess what?? you did it already, there's no step back, dont worry, if you feel it worthed it, if you felt good, no problem. th thing is that you have to know all the precautions for avoiding illnesses or unwanted preganancies, that's the most important thing in here.

So dont worry about your lost virginity, that's not so important, the important things are: ALWAYS CONDOM and to know WHO you sleep with, gotta have trust in that person, and do it for love.

Good luck, and remember, there's no time for looking back, what is done is done, dont regret your actions...

Answer 5

I would wait until you're out of high school. So yes, I think that you are too young to have a sexual relationship. Obviously, if your friend won't give you straight answers, they don't feel it's a good idea.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

If you were mature enough you wouldn't be here asking the question. Your boyfriend, in not wanting to pressure you, is just trying to shift responsibility for what he's doing, statutory rape and molesting a minor, from himself to you. I know that you will ignore any advice contrary to what you want to hear so I will just make a suggestion. Demand he use a condom prior to sexual activity because you'll find yourself alone and without a boyfriend if you should turn up pregnant. Then you will have learned one of life's little lessons and become a little more informed regarding the term manipulation.

Answer 7

Hey Guys! These are kids who are curious about everything. Okay, girl. Let me tell you a true story.

There's a young couple who once love each other so deeply that they commited a sin. The girl was pregnant and had an abortion after the guy told her to because they can't afford to have the baby at that point of time. The guy promised her that he will love her nothing less but as time goes by they found out that their love faded after the girl keep on clinging to where he goes(even to boy's session). Everything due to the depression from the loss of baby.

So my question to you is, are you ready to face every consequences that will drag you out from your freedom.

Ask yourself before do it again. It's not about under 18 law by the government. It's something you need to be responsible to yourself and your family. If he loves you, he will understand.

Answer 8

Just remember that you can get diseases or a pregnancy very easily. Even if you use protection, it still happens all the time. Also, do you think you could handle it if you guys broke up? Men tend to break off sexual relationships more easily than women. If you think you could handle a disease(I suggest you get him tested, don't just take his word that he's disease-free) or a baby, or both, or the emotional baggage if you breakup, then go ahead. It's your decision, these are just facts.

Answer 9

Of course you are too young. I am 16 and I think that is totally gross and wouldn't even consider that before I'm married. The Bible say to wait until after marriage. If you ask me, you've already screwed up. I would talk to your parents or someone you trust. Just remember, True Love Waits. Good Luck Love!!

Answer 10

I am not sure it is too young at your age for a sexual relationship or not? But at 16 yrs old is definitely is too young to become a mother, if you are not be careful, it might lead you there soon.